The complete poetical works and letters of John Keats/The Gadfly

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The Gadfly

Inclosed in a letter to Tom Keats, July 17, 1818.

All gentle folks who owe a grudge
To any living thing
Open your ears and stay your t(r)udge
Whilst I in dudgeon sing.


The Gadfly he hath stung me sore—
O may he ne'er sting you!
But we have many a horrid bore,—
He may sting black and blue.


Has any here an old gray Mare
With three legs all her store,
O put it to her Buttocks bare
And straight she 'll run on four.


Has any here a Lawyer suit
Of 1743,
Take Lawyer's nose and put it to 't
And you the end will see.


Is there a Man in Parliament
Dum(b)founder'd in his speech,
O let his neighbour make a rent
And put one in his breech.


O Lowther how much better thou
Hadst figur'd t' other day
When to the folks thou mad'st a bow
And hadst no more to say.


If lucky Gadfly had but ta'en
His seat . . .
And put thee to a little pain
To save thee from a worse.


Better than Southey it had been,
Better than Mr. D———
Better than Wordsworth, too, I ween,
Better than Mr. V———.


Forgive me, pray, good people all,
For deviating so—
In spirit sure I had a call—
And now I on will go.


Has any here a daughter fair
Too fond of reading novels,
Too apt to fall in love with care
And charming Mister Lovels,


O put a Gadfly to that thing
She keeps so white and pert—
I mean the finger for the ring,
And it will breed a wort.


Has any here a pious spouse
Who seven times a day
Scolds as King David pray'd, to chouse
And have her holy way—


O let a Gadfly's little sting
Persuade her sacred tongue
That noises are a common thing,
But that her bell has rung.


And as this is the summum bo-
num of all conquering,
I leave 'withouten wordes mo'
The Gadfly's little sting.