Catullus 84

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Catullus 84 (Wikisource translation)
by Catullus
Elegiac Couplet. This humorous poem is about a man named Arrius, who insisted on placing the "h" sound in his words in order to sound more Greek, and thus more educated. Naturally, Catullus loathed this and wrote this poem to express his deep dislike of this ploy. This poem serves as a dramatic contrast with Catullus' usual love poems about Clodia.
Literal English Translation Original Latin Line

"Hopportunity" Arrius was saying whenever he wished to say opportunity
And ambush he was saying "hambush,"
And then he was hoping that he had spoken wonderfully
Under the circumstances when he said "hambush" as much as he was able,
I believe, thusly his mother, thusly his free uncle,
Thusly his maternal grandfather and grandmother had spoken.
With this man having been sent into Syria, the ears of all had rested:
They were hearing the same thing more softly and more lightly,
Nor afterwards were they themselves fearing such words,
When suddenly the horrible message is brought that:
The Ionian waves, afterwards Arrius had gone there,
Were now no longer Ionian but "Hionian."

Chommoda dicebat, si quando commoda vellet
  dicere, et insidias Arrius hinsidias.
et tum mirifice sperabat se esse locutum,
  cum quantum poterat dixerat hinsidias.
Credo, sic mater, sic liber avunculus eius,
  sic maternus avus dixerat atque avia.
Hoc misso in Syriam requierant omnibus aures:
  audibant eadem haec leniter et leviter,
nec sibi postilla metuebant talia verba,
  cum subito affertur nuntius horribilis,
Ionios fluctus, postquam illuc Arrius isset,
  iam non Ionios esse sed Hionios.

84.1
84.2
84.3
84.4
84.5
84.6
84.7
84.8
84.9
84.10
84.11
84.12

edit AP Latin Syllabus
Vergil: Aeneid Book 1 (lines 1-519), Book 2 (lines 1-56, 199-297, 469-566, 735-804), Book 4 (lines 1-448, 642-705), Book 6 (lines 1-211, 450-476, 847-901), Book 10 (lines 420-509), Book 12 (lines 791-842, 887-952)
Catullus: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, (6), 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14a, 16, (21), 22, 30, 31, (34), 35, 36, 39,40, 43, 44, 45, 46, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 56, 58, 60, 62, 64, 65, 68, 69, 70, 72, 73, 75, 76, 77, 79, 81, 84, 85, 86, 87, 92, 93, 96, 101, 107, 109, 116.
Cicero: Pro Archia Poeta; De Amicitia 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104; Pro Caelio 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 41, 42, 43, 47, 48, 49, 50, 56, 57, 58, 61, 62, 63, 66, 67, 74, 75, 76, 77, 79, 80
Horace: Sermones 1.9; Odes 1.1, 1.5, 1.9, 1.11, 1.13, 1.22, 1.23, 1.24, 1.25, 1.37, 1.38, 2.3, 2.7, 2.10, 2.14, 3.1, 3.9, 3.13, 3.30, 4.7
Ovid: Daphne and Apollo, Pyramus and Thisbe, Daedalus and Icarus, Baucis and Philemon, Pygmalion; Amores 1.1, (1.2), 1.3, (1.4), (1.5), (1.6), (1.7), 1.9, 1.11, 1.12, (1.14), (1.15), 3.15