If it wasn't for the 'Ouses in Between

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If it wasn't for the 'Ouses in Between  (1894) 
by Edgar Bateman

If you saw my little backyard,
"Wot a pretty spot!" you'd cry -
It's a picture on a sunny summer day;
Wiv the turnip tops and cabbages wot people doesn't buy,
I makes it on a Sunday look all gay.
The neighbours fink I grows 'em, and you'd fancy you're in Kent,
Or at Epsom if you gaze into the mews;
It's a wonder as the landlord doesn't want to raise the rent,
Because we have such nobby distant views.

Oh! it really is a werry pretty garden,
And Chingford to the eastward could be seen;
Wiv a ladder and some glasses,
You could see to 'Ackney Marshes,
If it wasn't for the 'ouses in between.

We're as countrified as can be wiv a clothes prop for a tree,
The tub-stool makes a rustic little stile;
Ev'ry time the blooming clock strikes there's a cuckoo sings to me,
And I've painted up "To Leather Lane, a mile."
Wiv tom-ar-toes and wiv radishes wot 'adn't any sale,
The backyard looks a puffick mass o' bloom;
And I've made a little beehive wiv some beetles in a pail,
And a pitchfork wiv the 'andle o' the broom.

Oh! it really is a werry pretty garden,
And the soap works from the 'ouse-tops could be seen;
If I got a rope and pulley,
I'd enjoy the breeze more fully,
If it wasn't for the 'ouses in between.

There's the bunny shares iis egg box wiv the cross-eyed cock and hen,
Though they 'as got the pip and him the 'morf;
In a dog's 'ouse on the line-post there was pigeons, nine or ten,
Till some one took'd a brick and knocked it off.
The dust-cart, though it seldom comes, is just like 'arvest 'ome
And we made to rig a dairy up some'ow;
Put the donkey in the wash'ouse wiv some imitation 'orns,
For we're teaching 'im to moo just like a kah.

Oh! it really is a wery pretty garden,
And 'Endon to the westward could be seen;
And by clinging to the chimbley,
You could see across to Wembley,
If it wasn't for the 'ouses in between.


This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1923. It may be copyrighted outside the U.S. (see Help:Public domain).