DON T WAKE THE BABY. 19!
Bring home a friend with you to dine
When cook is out, or going ; Leave little knots of ribbon blue
Upon your dress-coat showing ; Forget the date of wedding-day,
Pronounce her pastor fusty ; Insinuate her poodle dog
Is neither kind nor trusty.
For these you may atonement make,
And hope to be forgiven (There might be trouble, I admit,
About the knot of ribbon ; But with a show of penitence
And compliments judicious, You might convince your wife at last
You were not truly vicious).
But don t you wake the baby, friend,
With creaking boot advancing ; Step on your tiptoes as you go,
Like bear or monkey dancing ; For if you wake that baby, friend,
That mother, sternly rising, Will then and there bestow rebuke
With energy surprising.
Ah, kisses then will be in vain,
In vain your speeches tender, And baby will tear up the rose
Your penitence may send her.
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