Of great importance is the question of class, and of great importance the question of sect. Men with long pedigrees do not wish their sons to marry the daughters of upstarts. Shīas will not intermarry with Sunis, for, although both sects are Islamic, there is a gulf between them as there is between Protestants and Roman Catholics in the Christian world. Shīas are of Persian extraction and are called Ouzilbashi or merely Quzilbash. Then Syeds will not give a daughter except to a Syed. Syeds are direct descendants of the prophet Muhammad. A Muslim girl will not wed a Hindu although there are Hindus in Kabul. Spiritual leaders, i.e. Pīrs or Sūfis, will not give their daughters to a commoner. The young man must however, belong to the family of another spiritual leader.
When all conditions are given consideration to and a likely bride is found, the parents of the young man take action. First of all the existing friendship is cultivated, the motive, however, being well concealed. Even when the parties concerned know what is coming, nothing is said regarding marriage for some time. Indeed, one or two years may go past before they talk business. During the interval there may be frequent visits, banquets and the exchange of gifts. It may be that the young man's mother may show a special interest in the girl, and she may give her a gift or two from time to time.
When at length the negotiations are formally opened, a party of ladies will visit the girl's mother. The mother of the young man may begin by saying, "Your second daughter is, by the Grace of Allah, very beautiful. She is well behaved. She is clever withal. My husband and I have often expressed our admiration for your daughter. Indeed, my husband has even suggested that we might approach you with the proposal that our houses should be allied by the marriage of our children. My son, by the mercy of God, is well educated and he has manly qualities If an alliance can be formed, I am assured that my son will
