AS TO CALLS AND CARD LEAVING
Authorities differ on the etiquette of cards and calling, but most of them advise us to use a little common sense when in doubt. If you remember that your card is yourself, you will know that you should not give it to the lady upon whom you are calling if she herself opens the door. Nor should you send it by the maid in houses where you are intimate, even if the maid is strange. Just give her your name and ask for the person you wish to see. In calling upon a new acquaintance, a lady may leave her own and her husband’s cards on the hall table, to remind her of the name, address and receiving day. Cards should be left when a lady is not at home, one of each for the mistress of the house and one for the rest of the family.
Because formal calls and card leaving are simply civilities, like bows on the street—the small change of society—many people make the mistake of thinking them stupid and meaningless. But if you think a moment you will see that you can hardly invite anyone to your house until you have paid the compliment of a call, nor would you feel sure of welcome in a house whose mistress had not called Reason for the Formal Call upon you. A chance introduction does not establish an acquaintance. A call begins an acquaintance, one call a year continues it, and to cease to call or leave cards ends it, unless the obligation to call is cancelled by an invitation. Many ladies with a large visiting list, who find even one call all around, every year, too much of a tax, pay all debts except dinner calls and calls on new acquaintances, by giving a large reception or a series of teas.
But if you call, you should go to see everyone on your visiting list once a year; you should go on each lady's receiving day, between three and six in the afternoon, or with your husband between eight and ten in the evening. Don't apologize for not having called before, nor stay over twenty minutes. On your own receiving day be at leisure, and don't keep a caller waiting without sending an apology. Don't fuss about a caller's belongings. A lady does not remove her wraps, and a gentleman can look after his own hat and cane. It is a pleasant English fashion to serve tea from four to five. This cordial custom puts people at their ease and makes one's receiving day popular.
