Now, if you will re-read the opening paragraphs of the first article on good manners, you will be able to think out the reasons that lie back of all the social observances that go to make up "good form". Back of the wish to give pleasure and not pain to others, lies unselfishness, kindness. Back of simplicity, naturalness in manner and speech lie self-respect, that feels no necessity of appearing to be other than a man is. Behind serenity that is not to be surprised or vexed a or offended lie self-control and personal dignity. Back of ease and tact and unfailing civility lie kindness and self-forgetfulness.
"A gentleman makes no noise, a lady is serene," says our great gentleman, Emerson. Behind really good manners lies spiritual beauty and moral worth. Do not doubt it, although it is true that people of no beauty or depth of character often observe all the rules of polite society through policy. Aren’t you glad they do? Think how unendurable they would be if they did not. And continual practice of good manners cannot but improve their minds and hearts. And those who think that, in a democracy like ours, all men are equal should remember that equality applies only to political rights and the opportunity to rise. The constitution opens the door of no man’s house. Socially, one man is as good as another only if he behaves as well.
- Good breeding is benevolence in trifles,
- or the preference of others to ourselves in
- the daily occurrences of life.
- --Lord Chatham.
