Page:Mrs Caudle's curtain lectures.djvu/101

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MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES
65

All the curtains are poisoned with smoke; and what's more, with the filthiest smoke I ever knew.

"Take 'em down, then?

"Yes, it's all very well for you to say take 'em down; but they were only cleaned and put up a month ago; but a careful wife's lost upon you, Mr. Caudle. You ought to have married somebody who'd have let your house go to wreck and ruin, as I will for the future. People who don't care for their families are better thought of than those who do; I've long found out that.

When the Cat's away the mice will play. Mr. Caudle's compliments to Mr. Henry Prettyman, and expects to have the honour of his company on this joyful occasion, at half-past Eight o'clock.
When the Cat's away the mice will play. Mr. Caudle's compliments to Mr. Henry Prettyman, and expects to have the honour of his company on this joyful occasion, at half-past Eight o'clock.

"And what a condition the carpet's in! They've taken five pounds out of it, if a farthing, with their filthy boots, and I don't know what besides. And then the smoke in the hearthrug, and a large cinder-hole burnt in it! I never saw such a house in my life! If you wanted to have a few friends, why couldn't you invite