Page:Southern Historical Society Papers volume 40.djvu/148

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144
Southern Historical Society Papers.

The poor wretch who forged the epistle in question had never so much as seen a letter of General Lee; or he would have known that the proprietor of Arlington never dated from "Arlington House." The scribbler also was quite unacquainted with the life and actions of the man he presumed to counterfeit: he makes him talk in 1852, of "my fine old regiment," whereas he had no regiment whatsoever, young or old; and it further happens that in April, 1852, he was not at Arlington at all.

It would not be worth while to brand this absurd forgery so as to discredit it in the eyes of the Yankee nation (who are welcome to believe what they choose) if there were not people in this country dull enough to believe it, and disseminate it, and congratulate General Lee and his son, and all other men's sons, on the happy revelation of so precious a monument of wisdom. There may be persons who opine—for there is no disputing about tastes—that the choicest topics for a parent's letter to his son are scraps from "Poor Richard"; or who hold that the most sublime of all human compositions are those sentences which school-masters have written for ages in their pupil's copybooks: "Frankness is the child of honesty and courage"; "You will wrong yourself by equivocation of any kind"; "Do not appear to others what you are not"; "Deal kindly, but firmly, with your classmates"; especially that admirable "Poor Richard" maxim—"Never do a wrong thing to make a friend; the man who requires you to do so is dearly purchased at a sacrifice"; such is the entire staple web and woof of General Lee's pretended letter; and indeed it is singular that the writer could leave off without adding, "Never pay too dear for your whistle"—"Never send a boy to mill; nor bolt the door with a boiled carrot." The main point of the production, however, at which the psuedo-father was in a hurry to arrive, was the story of the admirable "old Puritan Legislator" of Connecticut, who, when the day of judgment arrived, and the Legislature of that intelligent community was about to adjourn in honor of the event, moved, on the contrary, to order candles, so that the Judge might find them at their duty. That is the crown and climax of "heavenly wisdom"; there is the example which all fathers