Page:Speeches And Writings MKGandhi.djvu/811

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his shortcomings day by day. A Brahmachari who seeks true Brahmacharyam, feels too often that the longing after wordly pleasures is still in him, making the attainment of his ideal almost impossible. He who seeks "Moksha" or deliverance experiences a similar feeling. All this explains the great "Nathi." The sages who retired for tapas to the mountains and forests found themselves confronted with the "Nathi." Some of the Maharishis had probably a glimpse of the truth.

SWARAJ is THE ATTEMPT TO WIN IT. I am now convinced more firmly than ever that Swaraj lies in our efforts to win it. Ahmedabad and Viramgaum committed excesses. So too did Amnstar and Kasur, Satyagraha was then postponed because of those mob excesses. Last November I was eye- witness to the horrid outbreak at Bombay. Then too Mass Civil Disobedience was postponed. But the bitterest cup of humiliation was yet to come. Chauri Chaura taught me the most valuable lesson. 1 do not know how much more is still in store for me. Now if people grow impatient and consider me a fool, it will not be their fault. Why should I meddle in their affairs, if I had not the capacity to understand their true nature ? I could not sit with folded arms allowing things to drift. I could not but make open confession of error when any occurred. I would prefer being deposed from leadership, to paying lip-homage to truth and allowing the spirit within me to get corrupt by the overpowering weakness of the flesh. "If the Rana gets angry the people will give me shelter, but no one can protect me from God's wrath " is the strain of Mirabai's song and this has a moral for the world.

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