Shulchan Aruch/Yoreh Deah/240
Seif 1 - One must be very fastidious in the honoring of his father and mother and in being in awe of them.
HGH: In any case, a court cannot enforce the mitzvah of honoring one’s mother and father, because it is a mitzvat aseh (positive commandment) for which the reward is described with it [i.e. in the verses], for which a court cannot compel regarding it.
Seif 2 - What is considered awe? He shall not stand in the place set aside for [his father] to stand in sage council with his colleagues, or his special place for prayer, and he shall not sit in his special place to recline in his house, and shall not contradict his words and not rule reagarding his words in front of him, even to say “My father’s words are sensible.” And he shall not call him by name, not during his life nor his death. Rather he shall say “My father, my master.” If his father’s name was the same as the name of others, he should change their names, if it is an unusual name that people are used to using
HGH: But a name that people are accustomed to use, he permitted to use for others, if it is not in front of [his father].
Seif 3 - To what extent is the awe of them (mother and father)? (If) a son was wearing nice clothes and sitting in front of the community, and his father and mother arrived and tore his clothes and hit him (the son) on his head and spit in his face, he (the son) shall not embarrass them, but rather shall be silent and will be in awe of the King of Kings of Kings, who commanded to do thusly.
Seif 4 - What is honoring? He feeds him and gives him drink and dresses and covers, he welcomes and escorts out. And he will give to him with a happy demeanor (lit. face), such that even if the son feeds fattened livestock on each day and shows him (the father) an angry demeanor (lit. face), punishment is brought on him (the son). HGH: And also is the opposite case: If he forces his father to grind with the millstone, but he has good intention to save him from worse work, and he speaks words of appeasement on his father’s heart and shows him that his intention is good (to the father) such that he is convinced to grind with the millstone; (he that does so) inherits the world to come. And he shall serve him in all the other things as the server serves his master.
Seif 9 - He is obligated to honor him even after his death. How so? If he said something that he heard from [his father’s] mouth, he should say, “So said my father, my master, for whom I am the atonement of his resting,” if it is within 12 months (of dying). And if it is after 12 months, he should say “may his memory be for a blessing.” HGH: And there is no difference between a mother and a father for all of this. There are those who say that if one writes something within 12 months (of his death) and mentions his father, he does not need to write “behold I am the atonement of his resting.” Rather, (he should write) “zichrono livracha,” because his writing will last after 12 months. And there are those who are stringent, even with writing, and this is how we act.
Seif 10 - One whose father or mother became senile, should make an effort to behave with them in accordance with their mental ability until there be pity upon them. And if it is impossible for one to stand it, because they are too mentally disturbed, he should go and leave them and command to others to take care of them properly.
Seif 11 - One who sees that he father tragressed words of Torah, he should not tell him, "You trangressed words of Torah," rather he should tell him "Dad, the Torah says so and so," as if he is asking from him and not chastising him, and he will understand himself and not be embarrassed And if he said some statement that was in error, he should not say to him, don’t teach such.
Seif 14 - If his father says to him: give me water, and his mother says to him: give me water, he leaves his mother and busies himself with the honor of his father. And if she is divorced from his father, they are both equal and to whichever one he wants, he gives first.