States of Christian Life and Vocation, According to the Doctors and Theologians of the Church/Part 1/Section 1/Article 1/Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Is Marriage a Holy State[edit]
ST. PAUL says: "He that giveth his virgin in marriage doth well;" and, "If thou take a wife, thou hast not sinned." (i Cor. vii, 38, 28.) In spite of this distinct declaration of the apostle, some heretics of the first ages, the Manicheans among others, condemned marriage, and were themselves in turn condemned by the fathers of the Church. Among the foremost, St. John Chrysostom eloquently lays down the Catholic doctrine on this head:
"We consider marriage lawful; we also admire those who forego it. To keep from what is forbidden does not always betoken a grand and lofty soul. Hence, perfect virtue, not content with shunning faults branded by public opinion, triumphs in the performance of those acts, the omission of which would entail no guilt. But do you not prohibit marriage? God forbid! But, you will add, do you exhort us to keep continence? Yes, I advise it, for I understand the excellence of virginity; still, far from censuring marriage as being bad, I praise it....Yet you will grant that there are Christians to whom this assistance is of no use. These are the persons whom I invite to embrace virginity, without, however, condemning marriage. Now, between counsel and prohibition, there lies an abyss as deep as between liberty and necessity. A friend who counsels, leaves his friend free to follow another view.
"When I advise virginity, I pass no censure on marriage; nor do I blame him who resists my counsels. I admire, indeed, the generous athlete who rushes on in the career of virginity, but I have no fault to find with him who does not enter that career: for blame is allowed only in reference to a really bad act. But how can it attach to a Christian whose only reproach is, that he confines himself within a more modest sphere, and dares not aim at the highest efforts of virtue? I shall not, indeed, praise the vigor and energy of his courage; but neither shall I allow myself to cast blame on timid reserve. I do not, then, oppose marriage, which I hold to be holy and lawful; I condemn only those who outrage and profane it.
"Thus it is that Catholic doctrine knows how to venerate the work of God, and give additional splendor to the honor and glory of virginity. The value is very doubtful of a good which passes for such, only when compared with some great evil. A good that is truly great is one which is above what all the world agrees to look upon as good. Our doctrine . . . proclaims marriage to be good, and virginity better. To call marriage bad, is an injury to virginity; to honor the former, is to praise the latter. A person is not handsome because less ugly than some one else whose body is deformed; but he is truly such, when he excels in beauty those who are whole and free from defect. In this way, marriage, which is good in itself, leads us to admire virginity, that is better, and outstrips it in dignity as much as the captain and the general are above the common soldier and sailor."[1]
"Marriage is good, since it keeps man to his duty, and hinders him from falling into sin Therefore, do not condemn it, because it is fruitful in happy results. It saves us from profaning the holy temple of our body; it supports the weak, and strengthens their steps. But a support of that kind is of no use to the strong and robust man. Far from being necessary for him, its sole effect is to scatter in his way a thousand obstacles which slacken his progress, while lessening his merit and glory."[2]
The Angelic Doctor develops still better, and with more precision, the advantages of marriage. He adds three others to the one instanced by St. Chrysostom, namely: children, fidelity, and the sacraments.[3] The catechism of the Council of Trent explains those three advantages of marriage. The first consists in children born of a lawful wife. St. Paul sets so high a value on this first benefit, that he writes: "She shall be saved through childbearing." (i Tim. ii, 15.) The meaning of these words of the apostle must not be restricted to mean physical generation; it takes in, also, education and zeal in forming children to piety. The second benefit is the fidelity that mutually binds husband and wife, one to the other, whereby they give one another a right which they pledge themselves never to violate. The third is the sacrament, to wit: the bond of wedlock, which cannot be loosened.[4]
"The birth of children, fidelity, and the sacraments," continues St. Thomas, "not only palliate marriage, but render it even holy."[5] We gather from all this what ought to be the dispositions of those who enter the married state. They should consider themselves as undertaking not a human, but a divine work, to which they ought to bring great purity of heart and piety; as the examples given by the ancient patriarchs of the Old Law abundantly show. Although the marriage of these holy men did not bear the character of a sacrament, they themselves, however, always looked upon that solemn act as requiring a deep sense of religion and great piety for its due performance.[6]
Who does not know that, as marriage is a sacrament of the living, it were a sacrilege to receive it except in the state of grace? For this reason the faithful consider it a duty to prepare for it by going to confession. Woe to those who, on such an occasion, would confess their sins from a mere religious formalism, and not with the candor and repentance which justify before God. The blessing imparted by the priest to such a marriage would turn into a curse that would weigh upon the entire after-life of the contracting parties. And woe, likewise, to those who, before entering this state, allow themselves intimacies that are dangerous, when they are not culpable. These rash people forget the simplest rules of Christian prudence; carry on, alone, conversations and familiarities, which St. Jerome calls the beginning of the agony of virtue. "Never," says this great doctor to Nepotian, "never sit alone together, without a witness to your words and actions."[7] Experience testifies that this wise counsel cannot be neglected without danger. When passion alone unites a pair, it soon divides them. We see, not unfrequently, a life of discord and hatred following close upon intimacies alarming to purity. In this way, the justice of God falls, even in this world, on those who offend it. And this same justice will not spare those parents, those blind and guilty masters, who, by their negligence, have made themselves the accomplices of the moral waywardness of their children and servants.