Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 8

by Luo Guanzhong

第八回

Chapter 8

王司徒巧使連環計　董太師大鬧鳳儀亭

Minister over the Masses Wang skillfully employs the concept of interlinked stratagems;^[1] Senior Grand Tutor Dong blows his stack at Fengyi Pavilion.

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　　卻說蒯良曰：「今孫堅已喪，其子皆幼。乘此虛弱之時，火速進軍，江東一鼓可得。若還屍罷兵，容其養成氣力，荊州之患也。」表曰：「吾有黃祖在彼營中，安忍棄之？」良曰：「捨一無謀黃祖而取江東，有何不可？」表曰：「吾與黃祖心腹之交，捨之不義。」遂送桓階回營，相約以孫堅尸換黃祖。

Let us now turn to Kuai Liang, who said, "Sun Jian is now dead, and his children are all still young. We should take advantage of this moment of weakness, and swiftfly advance on the enemy, so that we can wipe out the army from the eastern bank of the Yangtze in one fell swoop.^[2] If we return the corpse and stand down our army, we will allow them to regain their strength, which could result in a disaster for Jingzhou." Biao said, "Our Huang Zu is in their camp; how can we abide abandoning him?" Liang said, "What's to stop us from discarding a clueless Huang Zu in exchange for conquering the eastern bank of the Yangtze in one fell swoop?^[2] Biao said, "Huang Zu is my good friend; it would be immoral to discard him." With that, he sent Huan Jie back to his camp, with the agreement that Sun Jian's body would be exchanged for Huang Zu.

2

　　孫策換回黃祖，迎接靈柩，罷戰回江東，葬父於曲阿之原。喪事已畢，引軍居江都，招賢納士，屈己待人，四方豪傑，漸漸投之。不在話下。

After Sun Ce returned Huang Zu and took possession of the coffin containing his father's body, he halted all fighting and returned to the eastern bank of the Yangtze.^[2] He buried his father on the plains of Qu'e. Once the funeral was over, he led his army to Jiangdu. There, he invited men of wisdom and valor to his side, and humbly subjugated himself in service to others. Gradually, men of outstanding abilities came from all over the country to throw in their lot with him. That's enough on that subject.

3

　　卻說董卓在長安，聞孫堅已死，乃曰：「吾除卻一心腹之患也！」問：「其子年幾歲矣？」或答曰：「十七歲。」卓遂不以為意。自此愈加驕橫，自號為「尚父」，出入僭天子儀仗；封弟董旻為左將軍鄠侯，姪董璜為侍中，總領禁軍。董氏宗族，不問老幼，皆封列侯。離長安城二百五十里，別築郿塢，役民夫二十五萬人築之；其城郭高下厚薄，一如長安，內蓋宮室倉庫，屯積二十年糧食。選民間少年美女八百人實其中。金玉、彩帛、珍珠，堆積不知其數。家屬都住在內。卓往來長安，或半月一回，或一月一回，公卿皆候送於橫門外。

Shang the Elder

Let us now turn to Dong Zhuo, who was in Chang'an. When he heard that Sun Jian had died, he said, "I have removed a true thorn in my side!" He then asked, "How old is his son?" Someone replied, "Seventeen." Accordingly, Zhuo did not regard him as a serious threat. From then on, he became even more imperious. He gave himself the title of "Latter-Day Shang the Elder," and issued phony instruments of the Son of Heaven. He then made his younger brother Dong Min General of the Left and Marquis of Hu County. He made his nephew Dong Huang his trusted attendant, and had him take command of the army charged with guarding the capital. All of the members of the Dong clan, regardless of age, were granted the rank of marquis. He also ordered the building of Fort Mei at a distance of 250 li^[3] from Chang'an. 250,000 laborers were tasked with its completion. The height and thickness of its walls rivaled those of Chang'an. Inside the walls, palace buildings and storehouses were built, with 20 years worth of grain rations. Among those selected for its occupancy were 800 young men and women. Gold, jade, beautiful silks and pearls were amassed in such great quantities as to be uncountable. His entire family resided within its walls. Zhuo shuttled back and forth between there and Chang'an once or twice per month. All of his ministers would see him off each time, accompanying him to the outside of Guangmen Gate.^[4]

4

　　卓嘗設帳於路，與公卿聚飲。一日，卓出橫門，百官皆送。卓留宴，適北地招安降卒數百人到。卓即命於座前，或斷其手足，或鑿其眼睛，或割其舌，或以大鍋煮之。哀號之聲震天，百官戰慄失筋，卓飲食談笑自若。

Zhuo would often erect a tent along the roadside, and gather his ministers together for drinks. One day, a number of officials exited the city via Guangmen Gate to send off Zhuo. Zhuo stayed behind and threw a banquet, during which, several hundred soldiers had arrived. They had travelled north in order to make peace and surrender. Zhuo ordered them to be brought before him. Some ended up having their hands and feet cut off. Some ended up with their eyes carved out. Some ended up with their tongues cut off. Some ended up being boiled in a large cauldron. The sounds of crying and moaning shook the heavens. All of the officials were dumbfounded and struck with fear. However, Zhuo kept on drinking, eating, talking and laughing as if nothing had happened.

5

　　又一日，卓於省臺大會百官，列坐兩行。酒至數巡，呂布逕入，向卓耳邊言不數句，卓笑曰：「原來如此。」命呂布於筵上揪司空張溫下堂。百官失色。不多時，侍從將一紅盤，托張溫頭入獻。百官魂不附體。卓笑曰：「諸公勿驚。張溫結連袁術，欲圖害我。因使人寄書來，錯下在吾兒奉先處，故斬之。公等無故，不必驚畏。」眾官唯唯而散。

roseleaf bramble

On yet another day, Zhuo was meeting with all of the officials at the capital, who were seated according to rank in two rows on either side of him. Several rounds of toasts later, Lü Bu strode into the room, and whispered a few words into Zhuo's ear. Zhuo smiled and said, "So that's the way it is." He then ordered Lü Bu to grab Minister of Works Zhang Wen from where he was sitting, and remove him from the room. All of the officials turned pale. Before long, one of the palace guards entered the room and presented a red platter with Zhang Wen's head on it. The officials were so shocked, they practically leaped out of their skin. Zhuo smiled and said, "Don't be alarmed. Zhang Wen had been conspiring with Yuan Shu to plot against me. Yuan Shu had someone deliver a letter to Zhang Wen, but the letter ended up coming to my son Fengxian by mistake, so I had Zhang Wen beheaded. All of you are innocent, so no need to panic." All of the officials reverentially dispersed.

6

　　司徒王允歸到府中，尋思今日席間之事，坐不安席。至夜深月明，策杖步入後園。立於荼蘼架側，仰天垂淚。忽聞有人在牡丹亭畔，長吁短嘆。允潛步窺之，乃府中歌伎貂蟬也。其女自幼選入府中，教以歌舞，年方二八，色伎俱佳，允以親女待之。是夜允聽良久，喝曰：「賤人將有私情耶！」貂蟬驚跪答曰：「賤妾安敢有私？」允曰：「無私，何夜深長嘆？」蟬曰：「容妾伸肺腑之言。」允曰：「汝勿隱匿，當實告我。」蟬曰：「妾蒙大人恩養，訓習歌舞，優禮相待，妾雖粉身碎骨，莫報萬一。近見大人兩眉愁鎖，必有國家大事，又不敢問。今晚又見行坐不安，因此長嘆﹔不想為大人窺見。倘有用妾之處，萬死不辭。」允以杖擊地曰：「誰想大漢天下卻在汝手中耶！隨我到畫閣中來。」

Diao Chan

Minister over the Masses Wang Yun returned to his residence. When he began to mull over what had happened at court that day, he became agitated and could not sit still. In the middle of the night, when the moon was shining bright, he took his walking stick and made his way to the rear courtyard. While he was standing beside the roseleaf bramble trellis, he looked up at the sky and began to weep. Suddenly, he could hear someone sighing and moaning beside the peony pavilion. Yun tiptoed over to take a peep, and saw that it was Diao Chan, a sing-song girl living at his residence. The girl had been brought into his household when she was a child. She had been tutored in the arts of singing and dancing, and was now 16 years old. She was attractive and graceful, and Yun treated her like his own daughter. On this night, Yun listened for a while, then barked out, "You are having illicit relations with a man, you vixen!" Diao Chan was startled, and knelt down. She replied, "How could I dare to have an affair?" Yun said, "If you're not having an affair, then why all the groaning in the middle of the night?" Chan said, "Allow me to speak from the heart." Yun said, "Don't hide anything from me, tell it to me straight." Chan said, "I am undeserving of your patronage. You have arranged for me to be tutored in the arts of singing and dancing, and have treated me exceptionally well. Even if I were to be smashed to pieces on your behalf, it still would not repay one ten thousandth of what you have done for me. When I saw how upset you have been of late, I realized that something major must be happening in our country, but did not dare to ask what it was. Tonight, I noticed that you were so agitated that you did not know whether to sit or stand. It was for this reason that I was sighing and moaning. I did not wish you to see me in this state. If there is any way that I can be of use, I would not refuse, even if it meant dying ten thousand deaths." Yun struck the ground with his stick, saying, "Who would have thought that the fate of the great Han nation would be left in your hands! Follow me into the painted pavilion."

7

　　貂蟬跟允到閣中，允盡叱出婢妾，納貂蟬於坐，叩頭便拜。貂蟬驚伏於地曰：「大人何故如此？」允曰：「汝可憐大漢天下生靈！」言訖，淚如泉湧。貂蟬曰：「適間賤妾曾言：但有使令，萬死不辭。」允跪而言曰：「百姓有倒懸之危，君臣有累卵之急，非汝不能救也。賊臣董卓，將欲篡位；朝中文武，無計可施。董卓有一義兒，姓呂，名布，驍勇異常。我看二人皆好色之徒，今欲用連環計，先將汝許嫁呂布，後獻董卓。汝於中取便，諜間他父子反顏，令布殺卓，以絕大惡。重扶社稷，再立江山，皆汝之力也。不知汝意若何？」貂蟬曰：「妾許大人萬死不辭，望即獻妾與彼。妾自有道理。」允曰：「事若洩漏，我滅門矣。」貂蟬曰：「大人勿憂。妾若不報大義，死於萬刃之下。」

Diao Chan followed Yun into the two-tier pavilion, then Yun ordered all of the other servant girls to leave. He made Diao Chan sit on a chair, while he knelt down in obeisance before her. Diao Chan was shocked, and prostrated herself on the ground, saying, "Your Excellency, why are you acting like this?" Yun said, "You have taken pity on the citizens of the great Han nation!" As he finished his sentence, tears welled up in his eyes. Diao Chan said, "As I said, just give an order, and I will carry it out, even if it means dying ten thousand deaths." Yun knelt down and said, "Ordinary citizens are in perilous waters; the emperor and his ministers are also in dire straits. Their fate is completely in your hands. The treacherous Dong Zhuo wants to usurp the throne. The civilian and military officials at court are powerless to stop him. Dong Zhuo has an adopted son. His surname is Lü and his given name is Bu. He is a man of uncommon bravery. In my estimation, both men are notorious womanizers. I would like to employ the concept of interlinked stratagems.^[1] I would like for you to first consent to marry Lü Bu, and then later offer yourself to Dong Zhuo. You will take advantage of the situation to gather information about both father and son. This information can be used to turn them against each other, causing Bu to kill Zhuo, thus eliminating a major source of evil. Restoring the imperial sacrificial alter, and saving the nation, depends on your efforts. Are you willing to do it?" Diao Chan said, "I said that I will carry out your orders, even if it means dying ten thousand deaths. I will offer myself to them. I already have a plan worked out in my head." Yun said, "If this gets out, it will mean the destruction of me and my entire family." Diao Chan said, "Don't worry, Your Excellency. I wish to die at the hand of ten thousand blades, should I not succeed in avenging justice."

8

　　允拜謝；次日將家藏明珠數顆，令良匠嵌造金冠一頂，使人密送呂布，布大喜，親到王允宅致謝，允預備嘉殽美饌，候呂布至，允出門迎迓，接入後堂，延之上坐。布曰：「呂布乃相府一將，司徒是朝廷大臣，何故錯敬？」允曰：「方今天下別無英雄，惟有將軍耳。允非敬將軍之職，敬將軍之才也。」布大喜。允殷勤敬酒，口稱董太師并布之德不絕。布大笑暢飲。允叱退左右，只留侍妾數人勸酒。酒至半酣，允曰：「喚孩兒來。」

Yun expressed his thanks. The next day, he ordered a craftsman to fashion a golden headpiece; he also had the craftsman inlay it with several pearls which had been kept in his family. He then sent someone to secretly deliver the headpiece to Lü Bu. Bu was overjoyed, and personally went to Wang Yun's residence to offer his thanks. Yun had already prepared a banquet of exquisite dishes. Once Lü Bu arrived, Yun came out to welcome him, then ushered him into the rear hall, and invited him to sit at the place of honor. Bu said, "I'm merely a general at the residence of the Chancellor of China. You are Minister over the Masses, a powerful official within the court. For what reason do you misplace so much courtesy?" Yun said, "Currently, there is no other true hero in the entire nation, besides you. If it is not fitting that I salute the rank of a general, then I will at least salute the talent of that general." Bu was overjoyed. Yun dutifully toasted him, and told him that Senior Grand Tutor Dong and Bu were virtuous beyond measure. Bu laughed uproariously and drank with abandon. Yun ordered all but a few of the attendants to leave. The few remaining servant girls continued to pour the wine. After they both were a bit tipsy, Yun said, "Tell my daughter to come here."

9

　　少頃，二青衣引貂蟬豔妝而出。布驚問何人。允曰：「小女貂蟬也。允蒙將軍錯愛，不異至親，故令其與將軍相見。」便命貂蟬與呂布把盞。貂蟬送酒與布，兩下眉來眼去。允佯醉曰：「孩兒央及將軍痛飲幾杯。吾一家全靠著將軍哩。」布請貂蟬坐，貂蟬假意欲入。允曰：「將軍吾之至友，孩兒便坐何妨？」貂蟬便坐於允側。呂布目不轉睛地看。

After a while, two servant girls helped Diao Chan to put on her makeup and come out. Bu was startled and asked who she was. Yun said, "This is my daughter Diao Chan. I have been the recipient of your kindness and regard you as one of the family, so I had her join us in order to meet you." Yun then ordered Diao Chan to pour wine for Lü Bu. Diao Chan served Bu wine, and they both made eyes at each other. Pretending that he was drunk, Yun said, "My daughter has entreated you to drink and be merry. My family relies on your good graces." Bu invited Diao Chan to sit with him, and Diao Chan pretended that she was interested. Yun said, "General, you are my good friend. What's the harm in my daughter sitting with you?" Diao Chan sat down next to Yun. Lü Bu could not take his eyes off of her.

10

　　又飲數杯，允指蟬謂布曰：「吾欲將此女送與將軍為妾，還肯納否？」布出席謝曰：「若得如此，布當效犬馬之報。」允曰：「早晚選一良辰，送至府中。」布欣喜無限，頻以目視貂蟬。貂蟬亦以秋波送情。少頃席散，允曰：「本欲留將軍止宿，恐太師見疑。」布再三拜謝而去。

After a few more cups of wine, Yun pointed to Chan and asked Bu, "General, if I offered this girl to you as a concubine, would you be willing to take her?" Bu stood up and thanked him, saying, "If you were willing to do this, I would do everything in my power to repay your kindness." Yun said, "I will immediately pick a good day to send her to your home." Bu was happy beyond measure, and kept looking over at Diao Chan. Diao Chan also cast amorous glances in his direction. After a while, they all got up from their seats, and Yun said, "I had originally wanted to have you stay the night, but I'm afraid that the Senior Grand Tutor may get suspicious." Bu thanked him repeatedly, then left.

11

　　過數日，允在朝堂見了董卓，趁呂布不在側，伏地拜請曰：「允欲屈太師車騎，到草舍赴宴，未審鈞意如何？」卓曰：「司徒見招，即當趨赴。」允拜謝歸家，水陸畢陳於前廳，正中設座，錦繡鋪地，內外各設幔帳。次日晌午，董卓來到。允具朝服出迎，再拜起居。卓下車，左右持戟甲士百餘，簇擁入堂，分列兩傍。允於堂下再拜，卓命扶上，賜坐於側。允曰：「太師盛德巍巍，伊周不能及也。」卓大喜。進酒作樂，允極其致敬。

After a few days, Yun ran into Dong Zhuo while at court. Taking advantage of the fact that Lü Bu was not by Zhuo's side, Yun prostrated himself on the floor and respectfully asked, "Senior Grand Tutor, I would like for you to attend a banquet at my humble abode; I was wondering what you thought of the idea?" Zhuo said, "Since I have been invited by the Minister over the Masses, I shall make it a point to go." Yun thanked him, and returned home. He set out all manner of rare delicacies, both from the sea and from the land, in his front hall. He put chairs in the center of the hall, and spread out fine embroidered silks on the floor. He also erected screens and curtains, both inside and out. The next day at noon, Dong Zhuo arrived. Over one hundred attendants and halberd carrying armored guards crowded into the hall, lining themselves into two ranks on each side. Yun again paid obeisance at the foot of the stairs to the entrance of the hall. Zhuo gave the order for him to rise and join him at his side. Yun said, "Senior Grand Tutor, may I say that you are a tower of virtue. Yi Yin and Duke of Zhou are not even in your league." Zhuo was overjoyed. They continued to pour wine and offer each other toasts, talking and laughing the whole while. Yun was extremely respectful.

12

　　天晚酒酣，允請卓入後堂，卓叱退甲士。允捧觴稱賀曰：「允自幼頗習天文，夜觀乾象，漢家氣數已盡。太師功德，振於天下，若舜之受堯，禹之繼舜，正合天心人意。」卓曰：「安敢望此？」允曰：「自古『有道伐無道，無德讓有德』，豈過分乎？」卓笑曰：「若果天命歸我，司徒當為元勳。」

Later that evening, as they became slightly tipsy, Yun invited Zhuo into the rear hall; Zhuo ordered his armored guards to get lost. Yun held up his wine cup and offered a toast, saying, "Astronomy has been a hobby of mine since my youth. Having observed recent nighttime celestial events, it has become clear that the house of Han's days are numbered. Senior Grand Tutor, you have taken the world by storm. It's just like when Shun succeeded Yao, or when Yu succeeded Shun. It was the will of both heaven and man." Zhuo said, "How could I dare wish for such a thing?" Yun said, "Since ancient times, 'those who understood the Way eliminated those who did not. Those who lacked virtue yielded to those who had virtue.'. I'm not overstating the case, am I?" Zhuo smiled and said, "If the Mandate of Heaven falls to me, you shall be revered as the founding father of a new era."

13

　　允拜謝，堂中點上畫燭，止留女使進酒供食。允曰：「教坊之樂，不足供奉；偶有家伎，敢使承應。」卓曰：「甚妙。」允教放下簾櫳，笙簧繚繞，簇捧貂蟬舞於簾外。有詞讚之曰：

a man playing a Sheng

Yun thanked him, and lit all of the fancy candles within the hall. Everyone was dismissed, with the exception of the servant girls, who were bringing the wine and food. Yun said, "I regret that I am unable to offer entertainment on par with the Royal Academy. However, if I may be so presumptuous, our family does have a sing-song girl who could perform for you." Zhuo said, "How wonderful." Yun gave the order for the bamboo curtains to be taken down. The sound of sheng music filled the air, as attendants surrounded Diao Chan, while she danced just outside of the curtains. The following lyrics have been written in praise of her:

14

　　原是昭陽宮裡人，驚鴻宛轉掌中身，
　　只疑飛過洞庭春。按徹梁州蓮步穩，
　　好花風裊一枝新，畫堂香煖不勝春。

the lady of Zhaoyang Palace

In days gone by, the lady of Zhaoyang Palace was so light and graceful in dance,^[5] that she reminded one of a wild goose who had just taken off in flight after having been startled. It was as though she could twirl in the palm of one's hand. One could not help but suspecting that she was really a bird flying over Lake Dongting in the spring.^[6] And now, this one's steady and graceful steps, as if floating on lotus leafs, are completely in sync with the Melody of Liangzhou. The scent of new flowers wafts through the air. The incense from the painted hall cannot keep out the fragrance of spring.

15

又詩曰：
There is also a poem that goes:

16

　　紅牙催拍燕飛忙，一片行雲到畫堂。
　　眉黛促成遊子恨，臉容初斷故人腸。
　　榆錢不買千金笑，柳帶何須百寶妝？
　　舞罷高簾偷目送，不知誰是楚襄王。

fruit of an elm tree

ancient Chinese coins

She was like a swallow that flies frantically to the urgent beat of the wooden red clappers, like a cloud that drifts through the painted hall.
Her darkened eyebrows gave consternation to travelers from afar. From the beginning, her face had broken the hearts of the men of old.
The fruit of the elm tree resembles real money, but it cannot buy her smile, which is worth a thousand pieces of gold. Why would one need to further adorn those arms, which remind one of the branches of a willow tree?
As her dance ends, they all steal glances of her over the high bamboo curtain. One cannot tell which of her admirers will burn with a lust comparable to that of King Xiangqing of Chu.^[7]

17

　　舞罷，卓命近前。貂蟬轉入簾內，深深再拜。卓見貂蟬顏色美麗，便問：「此女何人？」允曰：「歌伎貂蟬也。」卓曰：「能唱否？」允命貂蟬執檀板低謳一曲。正是：

After she finished dancing, Zhuo ordered her to approach. Diao Chan turned and entered through the curtain, then deeply bowed. Zhuo saw that Diao Chan had a beautiful face, and asked, "Who is this girl?" Yun said, "Diao Chan, my sing-song girl." Zhuo said, "Can she sing?" Yun ordered Diao Chan to take up the hardwood clappers and softly sing a song. It was a case of:

18

　　一點櫻桃啟絳唇，兩行碎玉噴陽春。
　　丁香舌吐衠鋼劍，要斬奸邪亂國臣。

The center of her closed mouth is painted like a small cherry; when she opens her crimson lips, the song White Snow on a Warm Spring Day^[8] emerges from between two rows of teeth, which are like shards of white jade.
She sticks out her lilac-shaped tongue; it is like a pure steel straight sword, cutting bad men in half, and throwing the officials at court into a tizzy.

19

　　卓稱賞不已。允命貂蟬把盞。卓擎杯問曰：「青春幾何？」貂蟬曰：「賤妾年方二八。」卓笑曰：「真神仙中人也！」允起曰：「允欲將此女獻上太師，未審肯容納否？」卓曰：「如此見惠，何以報德？」允曰：「此女得侍太師，其福不淺。」卓再三稱謝，允即命備氈車，先將貂蟬送到相府。卓亦起身告辭。允親送董卓直到相府，然後辭回。乘馬而行，不到半路，只見兩行紅燈照道，呂布騎馬執戟而來，正與王允撞見，便勒住馬，一把揪住衣襟，厲聲問曰：「司徒既以貂蟬許我，今又送與太師，何相戲耶？」允急止之曰：「此非說話處，且請到草舍去。」

Zhuo could not compliment her performance enough. Yun ordered Diao Chan to serve Zhuo wine. Holding his cup, Zhuo asked, "How old are you?" Diao Chan answered, "I'm 16 years old." Zhuo smiled and said, "What an angel you are!" Yun stood up and said, "Senior Grand Tutor, I would like to offer this girl to you as a gift, but I don't know whether you would be willing to take her. What do you think?" Zhuo said, "Such a generous gift; how can I ever repay such a favor?" Yun said, "Why Senior Grand Tutor, the mere fact that this girl can be of service to you is no small compensation." Zhuo thanked him profusely. Yun ordered for a carriage with felt canopy to be prepared. He would see to it that Diao Chan was sent ahead to the chancellor's residence. Dong Zhuo then rose to take his leave. Yun personally escorted Dong Zhuo to his residence, before turning back. He rode his horse about halfway home, when he suddenly saw two rows of red lanterns lighting up the road. It was Lü Bu, riding his horse while holding a halberd in his hand. The minute he came within reach of Wang Yun, he brought his horse to a halt, grabbed Wang Yun by the lapels, and asked in a shrill voice, "Minister over the Masses, seeing as you had already promised Diao Chan to me, what kind of game are you playing by sending her to be with the Senior Grand Tutor?" Yun hurriedly stopped him, saying, "This is not the place to talk. Please follow me back to my house."

20

　　布同允到家，下馬入後堂。敘禮畢，允曰：「將軍何故怪老夫？」布曰：「有人報我說，你把氈車送貂蟬入相府，是何緣故？」允曰：「將軍原來不知。昨日太師在朝堂中，對老夫說：『我有一事，要到你家。』允因此準備，等候太師。飲酒中間說：『我聞你有一女，名喚貂蟬，已許吾兒奉先。我恐你言未準，特來相求，並請一見。』老夫不敢有違，隨引貂蟬出拜公公。太師曰：『今日良辰，吾即當取此女回去，配與奉先。』將軍試思，太師親臨，老夫焉敢推阻？」布曰：「司徒少罪。布一時錯見，來日自當負荊。」允曰：「小女稍有妝奩，待過將軍府下，便當送至。」

Bu followed Yun to Yun's residence, dismounted from his horse, and entered into the rear hall. After exchanging formalities, Yun said, "General, how can you blame me?" Bu said, "Someone reported to me that you had sent Diao Chan to the prime minister's residence in a carriage with a felt canopy. Why did you do that?" Yun said, "I guess you haven't heard. Yesterday, when we were at court, the Senior Grand Tutor said to me, 'I would like to come to your house to discuss a matter with you.' So, I got things ready, and awaited the arrival of the Senior Grand Tutor. While we were drinking, he told me, 'I hear that you have a daughter named Diao Chan, and that she has been promised to my son Fengxian. I was afraid that you might not give your consent, so I especially came here to negotiate with you. I would also like to take a look at her.' I did not dare refuse, and brought out Diao Chan so that she could greet her future father-in-law. The Senior Grand Tutor said, 'Today is an auspicious day. I should take this girl home with me, so that she can be with Fengxian.' General, please think about it for a minute; the Senior Grand Tutor came here personally. How I could I stop him?" Bu said, "Minister over the Masses, I don't fault you. This was a misunderstanding on my part. I will make it up to you at a later date." Yun said, "My daughter has some personal effects; I will arrange for her things to be delivered to your residence in a few days."

21

　　布謝去。次日，呂布在府中打聽，絕不聞音耗。布逕入堂中，尋問諸侍妾。侍妾答曰：「夜來太師與新人共寢，至今未起。」布大怒，潛入卓臥房後窺探。時貂蟬已起，於窗下梳頭；忽見窗外池中一人影，極長大，頭戴束髮冠，偷眼視之，正是呂布。貂蟬故蹙雙眉，做憂愁不樂之態，復以香羅頻拭淚眼。呂布窺視良久，乃出；少頃又入。卓已坐於中堂，見布來，問曰：「外面無事乎？」布曰：「無事。」侍立卓側。卓方食，布偷目竊望，見繡簾內一女子往來觀覷，微露半面，以目送情。布知是貂蟬，神魂飄蕩。卓見布如此光景，心中疑忌，曰：「奉先無事且退。」布怏怏而出。

Bu thanked him and left. The following day, Lü Bu made enquiries at the chancellor's residence, but could not get any information. So, Bu walked straight into one of the main rooms, and asked a servant girl about it. The servant girl said, "Last night, the Senior Grand Tutor shared his bed with a new bride, and has still not risen." Bu was furious, and snuck into the rear of Zhuo's bed chamber in order to take a look. At this point, Diao Chan had already arisen, and was combing her hair by the window; suddenly, in the pool outside of the window, she saw the reflection of a man, large and imposing, and wearing a cap made out of braided gold and silk, with long pheasant feathers on either side. She stole a glance. It was Lü Bu. Diao Chan knitted her eyebrows; she seemed as if she were worried and unhappy. She was frequently wiping the tears from her eyes with a silk handkerchief. Lü Bu spied on her for a longtime before leaving. After a short while, he came back in. By then, Zhuo was already seated in the central hall. When he saw Bu coming, he asked him, "There's nothing going on outside, is there?" Bu replied, "No, nothing." Then, he took his place at Zhuo's side. Zhuo had just started eating, when Bu began stealing glances at the girl pacing back and forth behind the embroidered curtains. She was in silhouette, but he could see the desire in her eyes. Bu knew that it was Diao Chan, and was losing his composure. Zhuo saw Bu in this state, and became suspicious and jealous, saying, "Fengxian, if there is nothing else, you are dismissed." Bu sullenly walked out.

22

　　董卓自納貂蟬後，為色所迷，月餘不出理事。卓偶染小疾，貂蟬衣不解帶，曲意逢迎，卓心愈喜。呂布入內問安，正值卓睡。貂蟬於床後探半身望布，以手指心，又以手指董卓，揮淚不止。布心如碎。卓朦朧雙目，見布注視床後；目不轉睛；回身一看，見貂蟬立於床後，卓大怒，叱布曰：「汝敢戲吾愛姬耶！」喚左右逐出：「今後不許入堂！」

Ever since bringing Diao Chan home, Dong Zhuo became obsessed with sex. It was more than a month before he emerged to attend to matters. When Zhuo suddenly came down with a minor illness, Diao Chan attended to him around the clock, going out of her way to accommodate him. This pleased Zhuo even more. Lü Bu came in to see how he was doing, but Zhuo was sleeping just then. Diao Chan leaned over from behind the bed and gazed at Bu. She gestured to her heart with her hand, then pointed to Dong Zhuo, tears streaming down her face. Bu's heart was crushed. Through half-closed eyes, Zhuo saw Bu staring behind the bed. Bu was fixated on something. When he turned around to see what it was, Zhuo saw Diao Chan standing behind the bed. Zhuo was furious, and began to scold Bu, "How dare you flirt with my beloved consort!" He ordered his attendants to make Bu leave, saying, "From now on, you are not allowed into this room!"

23

　　呂布怒恨而歸，路遇李儒告知其故。儒急入見卓曰：「太師欲取天下，何故以小過見責溫侯？倘彼心變，大事去矣。」卓曰：「奈何？」儒曰：「來朝喚入，賜以金帛，好言慰之，自然無事。」卓依言；次日，使人喚布入堂，慰之曰：「吾前日病中，心神恍惚，誤言傷汝，汝勿記心。」隨賜金十斤，錦二十疋。布謝歸；然身雖在卓左右，心實繫念貂蟬。

Lü Bu set out for home with hatred and bitterness in his heart. Along the way, he ran into Li Ru, and told him what had happened. Ru hastily went in to see Zhuo, saying, "Senior Grand Tutor, you will soon rule over the entire empire, why did you rebuke the Marquis of Wen over a minor slight? If he has a change of heart, all could be lost." Zhuo said, "What can I do?" Ru said, "Tomorrow morning, summon him here and offer him gifts of gold and silk. You must sooth his bruised ego with kind words. If you do that, there won't be a problem." Zhuo did as he was told. The following day, he had someone summon Bu to his chamber. He then struck a conciliatory tone, saying, "The other day, I was sick and out of sorts. If I said things that hurt you, please don't take it to heart." He then gave him a gift of ten catties of gold and 20 bolts of brocade silk.^[9] Bu thanked him and left. And though his body went with Zhuo's attendants, his heart remained behind with Diao Chan.

24

　　卓疾既愈，入朝議事。布執戟相隨，見卓與獻帝共談，便乘間提戟出內門，上馬逕投相府來；繫馬府前，提戟入後堂，尋見貂蟬。蟬曰：「汝可去後園中鳳儀亭邊等我。」布提戟逕往，立於亭下曲欄之傍。良久，貂蟬分花拂柳而來，果然如月宮仙子，泣謂布曰：「我雖非王司徒親女，然待之如己出。自見將軍，許侍箕帚，妾已平生願足；誰想太師起不良之心，將妾淫污。妾恨不即死；止因未與將軍一訣，故且忍辱偷生。今幸得見，妾願畢矣。此身已汙，不得復事英雄；願死於君前，以明妾志！」言訖，手攀曲欄，望荷花池便跳。呂布慌忙抱住，泣曰：「我知汝心久矣！只恨不能共語！」貂蟬手扯布曰：「妾今生不能與君為妻，願相期於來世。」布曰：「我今生不能以汝為妻，非英雄也。」蟬曰：「妾度日如年，願君憐而救之。」布曰：「我今偷空而來，恐老賊見疑，必當速去。」貂蟬牽其衣曰：「君如此懼怕老賊，妾身無見天日之期矣！」

Having recovered from his illness, Dong Zhuo attended court in order to discuss official business. Bu was at his side, halberd in hand; when he saw Zhuo speaking with Emperor Xian, he seized the opportunity to exit via the inner gate with his halberd. He mounted his horse, and rode straight to the chancellor's residence. Tying his horse up at the front of the residence, he entered the rear chamber to look for Diao Chan, taking his halberd with him. Chan said, "Go to the rear courtyard, and wait for me by the Fengyi Pavilion." Bu took his halberd, and went straight there. He stood by a winding handrail beneath the pavilion. After a while, Diao Chan came out, gracefully making her way through the flowers and willow trees. She was as lovely as the fairy maidens who live in the moon. Crying, she said to Bu, "Even though I am not Minister over the Masses Wang's biological daughter, I never-the-less treat him as if he were my own father. General, ever since meeting you and being granted permission to become your wife, I felt that my life was complete. Who knew that the Senior Grand Tutor would harbor immoral thoughts, and defile me as his concubine. I hate the fact that I cannot die. It is only because I wanted to say goodbye to you, that I have endured this humiliation in order to remain alive. Now that I have been fortunate enough to see you today, I wish to end my life. My body has already been sullied, so I am no longer able to be of service to you; I wish to die in front of you, in order to demonstrate my faithfulness to you!" Having finished speaking, she took a hold of the winding handrail, and prepared to jump into the lotus covered pond. Lü Bu rushed to grab her, and with tears in his eyes, said, "I have known your heart for quite some time! I regret that I have been unable to speak with you!" Diao Chan pulled on Bu, saying, "If I cannot be your wife in this life, I would like to meet with you again in the next." Bu said, "If I cannot make you my wife in this life, then I am not a hero." Chan said, "Days wear on like years for me. I wish you would take pity on me, and rescue me." Bu said, "I stole a moment to come and see you today, but am afraid that the old geezer may grow suspicious. I must return to him at once." Diao Chan pulled on his clothing, saying, "If you are this scared of the old geezer, there is no hope for me at all!"

25

　　布立住曰：「容我徐圖良策。」語罷，提戟欲去。貂蟬曰：「妾在深閨，聞將軍之名，如雷灌耳，以為當世一人而已；誰想反受他人之制乎！」言訖，淚下如雨。布羞慚滿面，重復倚戟，回身摟抱貂蟬，用好言安慰。兩個偎偎倚倚，不忍相離。

Bu stood still, and said, "Allow me to come up with a good plan." After he finished speaking, he grabbed his halberd and began to leave. Diao Chan said, "Even from the sheltered confines of the women's quarters, I knew your name quite well. Being so well known, I assumed that you were one of a kind in this world; who knew that you could be manipulated by others!" Having finished speaking, tears began streaming down her face like rain. Bu's face was filled with shame. He leaned his halberd against the railing, and turned around to embrace Diao Chan. He tried his best to console her with comforting words. The two held each other tightly, and did not want to part from each other.

26

　　卻說董卓在殿上，回頭不見呂布，心中懷疑，連忙辭了獻帝，登車回府；見布馬繫於府前，問門吏。吏答曰：「溫侯入後堂去了。」卓叱退左右，逕入後堂中，尋覓不見；喚貂蟬，蟬亦不見，急問侍妾。侍妾曰：「貂蟬在後園看花。」

Let us now turn to Dong Zhuo, who was at the palace. When he turned around and didn't see Lü Bu, he became suspicious, and hastily took his leave of Emperor Xian. He got into his carriage, and returned to his residence; when he arrived, he saw that Bu's horse was tied up out front, so he asked the gate guard. The guard responded, "Marquis of Wen went into the rear chamber." Zhuo dismissed his attendants, and strode into the rear chamber, but could not find her; he called out to Diao Chan, but Chan did not appear, so he frantically asked a servant girl. The servant girl said, "Diao Chan is in the rear courtyard, looking at flowers."

27

　　卓尋入後園，正見呂布和貂蟬在鳳儀亭下共語，畫戟倚在一邊。卓怒，大喝一聲。布見卓至，大驚，回身便走。卓搶了畫戟，挺著趕來。呂布走得快，卓肥胖趕不上，擲戟刺布。布打戟落地。卓拾戟再趕，布已走遠。卓趕出園門，一人飛奔前來，與卓胸膛相撞，卓倒於地。正是：沖天怒氣高千丈，仆地肥軀做一堆。未知此人是誰，且看下文分解。

Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu

When Zhuo entered the rear courtyard to look for her, he saw Lü Bu and Diao Chan talking with each other near the Fengyi Pavilion, Bu's halberd leaning against a rail. Zhuo became enraged, and yelled out. Bu saw that Zhuo had arrived, and was startled. He turned around to leave. Zhuo grabbed Bu's painted halberd, and began chasing after Bu. Bu was a fast runner, and Dong Zhuo was too fat to catch up with him. He threw the halberd like a spear in order to strike at Bu. Bu fended off the halberd with his hand, causing it to fall to the ground. Zhuo picked up the halberd, and again began to chase after him, but Bu was too far away by now. Zhuo was running out of the gates to courtyard, when someone running the other way collided with Zhuo's torso, causing Zhuo to fall to the ground. It was a case of:

He was steaming to the heavens with anger, when suddenly his fat body lay in a pile on the ground.

Don't know who the man was? Keep reading, and all will be explained.

---

Notes

1. One of the Thirty-Six Stratagems. Namely, in important matters, one should use several stratagems applied simultaneously after another as in a chain of stratagems. Keep different plans operating in an overall scheme; however, in this manner if any one strategy fails, then the chain breaks and the whole scheme fails.
2. Between Wuhu and Nanjing, the Yangtze River flows north to south. The east side of the river is on the southern bank.
3. One li was approximately 415.8 meters, 250 li would have been 103.95 km (~64.5915 miles).
4. The Guangmen Gate is the northwest gate of the city of Chang'an
5. Diao Chan is being compared to Empress Zhao Feiyan, who lived in Zhaoyang Palace, and was reknown for her beauty and grace. She was also said to be a skilled dancer.
6. the yan in Empress Zhao Feiyan's name means "swallow," hence the allusions to birds.
7. King Xiangqing of Chu was reknown for his womanizing ways.
8. White Snow on a Warm Spring Day, composed in the state of Chu during the Warring States Period, was considered to be refined and extremely difficult to sing.
9. One catty is equal to 220 grams, ten catties is equal to 2.2 kilograms (~4.85012 pounds).