Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/Vas Marriage a Failure?

by Charles Follen Adams

Vas marriage a failure? "Veil, now, dot depends

Altogeddher on how you look at it, mine friends.

Like dhose double-horse teams dot you see at der races,

It depends pooty much on der pair in der traces;

Eef dhey don'd pool togeddher righdt off at der shtart,

Ten dimes oudt off nine dhey van beddher apart.

Vas marriage a failure? Der vote vas in doubt;

Dhose dot's oudt vould be in, dhose dot's in vould be oudt:

Der man mit oxberience, good looks und dash,

Gets a vife mit some fife hundord dousand in cash,

Budt, after der honeymoon, vhere vas der honey?

She haf der oxberience — he haf der money.

Vas marriage a failure? Eef dot vas der case,

Vot vas to pecome off der whole human race?

Vot you dink dot der oldt "Pilgrim faders" vould say,

Who came in dot Sunflower to oldt Plymouth Bay,

To see der fine coundtry dis peoples haf got,

Und dhen hear dhem ask sooch conondhrums as dot?

Vas marriage a failure ? Shust go, ere you tell,

To dot Bunker Mon Ilillument, vhere Varren fell;

Dink off Yashington, Franklin, nnd "Honest Old Abe" —

Dhey vas all been aroundt since dot first Plymouth babe.

I vas only a Deutscher, budt I tells you vot!

I pelief, every dime, in sooch "failures" as dot.

Vas marriage a failure? I ask mine Katrine,

Und she look off me so dot I feels pooty mean.

Dhen she say: "Meester Strauss, shust come here eef you blease,"

Und she take me vhere Yawcob und leedle Loweeze

By dheir shnug trundle-bed vas shust saying dheir prayer,

Und she say, mit some pride: "Dhere vas no failures dhere!"