A Selection of Original Songs, Scraps, Etc., by Ned Farmer (3rd ed.)/A few Fishing Lines, or a Challenge to Anglers
"A few Fishing Lines, or a Challenge to Anglers."
As the following highly pretentious effusion was written some years ago, solely to oblige, and at the earnest instigation of my much-esteemed friend, Matthew Tertius Skull, Esq., I am bound to put myself right with the lovers of the angle, and others their admirers, by clearly stating, that I by no means endorse the exalted opinion he appears to entertain of his own abilities, beyond the fact of quite going with him, as regards the acknowledged excellence of the artificial baits he alludes to, and that of "Redditch" being "The Mart" for hooks, &c., of all descriptions (wholesale of course); for my own part, I know little of fishing, beyond what grows out of a very ardent love of the pursuit.
I've read with very perfect pleasure
"Ephemera's Waifs," each line a treasure;
Have oft perused old "Isaac"[1] too,
With maxims quaint—yet wondrous true;
From other authors, good and bad,
All kind of theories I've had.
One genius hath writ a hook, on
The proper way to tie a hook on!
Another gives a huge discourse
On hair, as had from cow or horse,
And points the difference; then he Bays,
Worms may be scoured in various ways,
And maggots bred (now this is clever)
From putrid meat—"well, did you ever!"
As if the butchers did not know,
Who daily see the blue-fly blow.
A learned Theban, writes a volume,
In which he doth devote a column
To telling how (good worthy soul)
A man "had ought" to bait a hole;
And to elucidate takes pains,
The mystery of grubs and grains;
And then with "master-mind" doth treat
The abstruse subject of stewed wheat
As an appliance. After which
He mentions, and I hold it rich,
"That grubs of wasps are easiest found
When wasps are making nests around."
It ain't just arrant botheration,
But smacks of super-arrogation!
Poor P, whose style is somewhat odd,
Writes a huge work upon the "Rod."
Sure one who knows so much about one,
Had never ought to be without one.
I've learned to manufacture flies
Of every mortal form and size.
I do not mean that I can make them
As Blacker[2] does—but fishes take them.
I've just enough of what's termed "nouse,"
To build an artificial "mouse"
Or "frog," to nature's model true—
"The Archimedean minnow" too,
Quite equal to the "Derby-killer,"[3]
For which men part with so much siller;
Although the maker, sooth to say,
Has killed some rattlers in his day;
Mine take the lead, none e'er denies,
Of those so noted by Allies.[4]
I've made an imitation new worm.
Between a "brandling" and a "dew-worm,"
And recommend my friends to try 'em,
No fish with fins on, will go by 'em.
Spoon-baits (congenial) are my pride,
All competition is defied.
For Gimp, and Gut, and Hooks I'm derry
To all those kind of things, Sir, very;
And if a man's a mind to shackle,
And purchase his own fishing-tackle,
Bid him his wayward course to steer,
To famed Redditch, in Worcestershire;
There he can purchase fitting hooks,
From ocean fishing down to brooks.
I'll bottom fish, or troll for pike,
Or whip a trout stream, which they like;
I'll spin a minnow, dib with drake,
For fifty pounds aside, and stake
With any piscatorial elf,
Who 's game enough to back himself
Some amateurs presume to speak
Of mighty deeds performed at Leek.[5]
I fear them not, alike I take
From river, pond, from pool, or lake,
The scaly tribe; and as for roach,
I've caught enough to load a coach;
With paste and gentles, malt that's stewed,
How I have thinned that "red-finned" brood!
Aye, and how justly proud I feel
Of the mode in which I bait for eel.
The Barbel mystery I'll unravel,
Who poke their leather snouts in gravel.
With bullocks' pith, their favourite grub,
I've killed some hundred-weights of "Chub."
For "Carp" and "Tench," when weather's clear,
Wind in the south, and "wheat in ear,"
Of surface weeds just mow a bit out,
And I'll be bound to clear a pit out.
In fact, I'll meet the challenge gaily.
Of any man excepting "Bailey;"[6]
Letters addressed, Post Office, Hull,
Will find me alwaysM. T. Skull.
- ↑ Walton.
- ↑ A famous maker of artificial flies.
- ↑ Mr. Warren's destructive bait, of Derby, is here alluded to.
- ↑ A very killing bait manufactured by him at Worcester.
- ↑ An extensive and beautiful sheet of water, more than two miles in length, in Staffordshire.
- ↑ The Champion Fisherman of Nottingham.