As You Like It (1919) Yale/Text/Act V
ACT FIFTH
Scene One
[The Forest of Arden]
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch. We shall find a time, Audrey: patience,
gentle Audrey.
Aud. Faith, the priest was good enough, for
all the old gentleman's saying. 4
Touch. A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey; a
most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth
here in the forest lays claim to you.
Aud. Ay, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest
in me in the world. Here comes the man you
mean. 10
Enter William.
Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a
clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have
much to answer for: we shall be flouting; we
cannot hold.
Will. Good even, Audrey.
Aud. God ye good even, William. 16
Will. And good even to you, sir.
Touch. Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy
head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered.
How old are you, friend? 20
Will. Five-and-twenty, sir.
Touch. A ripe age. Is thy name William?
Will. William, sir.
Touch. A fair name. Wast born i' the forest
here? 25
Will. Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touch. 'Thank God'; a good answer. Art
rich? 28
Will. Faith, sir, so so.
Touch. 'So so,' is good, very good, very excel-
lent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art
thou wise? 32
Will. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch. Why, thou sayest well. I do now re-
member a saying, 'The fool doth think he is
wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a
fool.' The heathen philosopher, when he had a
desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when
he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that
grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You
do love this maid? 41
Will. I do, sir.
Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
Will. No, sir. 44
Touch. Then learn this of me: to have, is to
have; for it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink,
being poured out of a cup into a glass, by fill-
ing the one doth empty the other; for all your
writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are
not ipse, for I am he. 50
Will. Which he, sir?
Touch. He, sir, that must marry this woman.
Therefore, you clown, abandon,—which is in the
vulgar, leave,—the society,—which in the boorish
is, company,—of this female,—which in the com-
mon is, woman; which together is, abandon the
society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest;
or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit,
I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life 59
into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal
in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel;
I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun
thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and
fifty ways: therefore tremble, and depart. 64
Aud. Do, good William.
Will. God rest you merry, sir. Exit.
Enter Corin.
Cor. Our master and mistress seek you:
come, away, away! 68
Touch. Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend,
I attend. Exeunt.
Scene Two
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Orlando and Oliver.
Orl. Is 't possible that on so little acquaint-
ance you should like her? that, but seeing, you
should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing,
she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy
her? 5
Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in ques-
tion, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance,
my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting;
but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her,
that she loves me; consent with both, that we
may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good;
for my father's house and all the revenue that
was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you,
and here live and die a shepherd. 14
Enter Rosalind.
Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding
be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke
and all's contented followers. Go you and
prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my
Rosalind.
Ros. God save you, brother. 20
Oli. And you, fair sister. [Exit.]
Ros. O! my dear Orlando, how it grieves me
to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
Orl. It is my arm. 24
Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded
with the claws of a lion.
Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a
lady. 28
Ros. Did your brother tell you how I coun-
terfeited to swound when he showed me your
handkercher?
Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. 32
Ros. O! I know where you are. Nay, 'tis
true: there was never anything so sudden but
the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical
brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame': for your
brother and my sister no sooner met, but they
looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no
sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed
but they asked one another the reason; no 40
sooner knew the reason but they sought the
remedy: and in these degrees have they made a
pair of stairs to marriage which they will climb
incontinent, or else be incontinent before mar-
riage. They are in the very wrath of love, and
they will together: clubs cannot part them. 46
Orl. They shall be married to-morrow, and I
will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O! how
bitter a thing it is to look into happiness
through another man's eyes. By so much the
more shall I to-morrow be at the height of
heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my
brother happy in having what he wishes for. 53
Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve
your turn for Rosalind?
Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. 56
Ros. I will weary you then no longer with
idle talking. Know of me then,—for now I
speak to some purpose,—that I know you are a
gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that 60
you should bear a good opinion of my know-
ledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither
do I labour for a greater esteem than may in
some little measure draw a belief from you, to
do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe 65
then, if you please, that I can do strange things.
I have, since I was three year old, conversed
with a magician, most profound in his art and
yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so
near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when 70
your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her.
I know into what straits of fortune she is driven;
and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not
inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes
to-morrow, human as she is, and without any
danger. 76
Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings?
Ros. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly,
though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put
you in your best array; bid your friends; for if
you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and
to Rosalind, if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phebe.
Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of
hers.
Phe. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness, 84
To show the letter that I writ to you.
Ros. I care not if I have: it is my study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd: 88
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to
love.
Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears;
And so am I for Phebe. 92
Phe. And I for Ganymede.
Orl. And I for Rosalind.
Ros. And I for no woman.
Sil. It is to be all made of faith and service; 96
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe. And I for Ganymede.
Orl. And I for Rosalind.
Ros. And I for no woman. 100
Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty, and observance;
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience; 104
All purity, all trial, all obedience;
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe. And so am I for Ganymede.
Orl. And so am I for Rosalind. 108
Ros. And so am I for no woman.
Phe. [To Rosalind.] If this be so, why blame you
me to love you?
Sil. [To Phebe.] If this be so, why blame you me
to love you?
Orl. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Ros. Why do you speak too, 'Why blame you me to love you?'
Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. 114
Ros. Pray you, no more of this: 'tis like the
howling of Irish wolves against the moon. [To
Silvius.] I will help you, if I can: [To Phebe.]
I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet
me all together. [To Phebe.] I will marry you,
if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to- 120
morrow: [To Orlando.] I will satisfy you, if
ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married
to-morrow: [To Silvius.] I will content you, if
what pleases you contents you, and you shall be
married to-morrow. [To Orlando.] As you love
Rosalind, meet: [To Silvius.] As you love
Phebe, meet: and as I love no woman, I'll
meet. So, fare you well: I have left you com-
mands. 129
Sil. I'll not fail, if I live.
Phe. Nor I.
Orl. Nor I. Exeunt.
Scene Three
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch. To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey;
to-morrow will we be married.
Aud. I do desire it with all my heart, and
I hope it is no dishonest desire to desire to be a
woman of the world. Here come two of the
banished duke's pages. 6
Enter two Pages.
First Page. Well met, honest gentleman.
Touch. By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit,
and a song. 9
Sec. Page. We are for you: sit i' the
middle.
First Page. Shall we clap into 't roundly,
without hawking or spitting, or saying we are
hoarse, which are the only prologues to a bad
voice?
Sec. Page. I'faith, i'faith; and both in a
tune, like two gipsies on a horse. 17
Song.
'It was a lover and his lass,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o'er the green corn-field did pass, 20
In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring.
Between the acres of the rye, 24
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie,
In the spring time, &c.
This carol they began that hour, 28
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower
In the spring time, &c.
And therefore take the present time, 32
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino;
For love is crowned with the prime
In the spring time, &c.'
Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there
was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note
was very untuneable.
First Page. You are deceived, sir: we kept
time; we lost not our time. 40
Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time
lost to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' you;
and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey.
Scene Four
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia.
Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not;
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. 4
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd.
[To the Duke.] You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. 8
Ros. [To Orlando.] And you say, you will have her when I bring her?
Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
Ros. [To Phebe.] You say, that you'll marry me, if I be willing?
Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. 12
Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
Phe. So is the bargain.
Ros. [To Silvius.] You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? 16
Sil. Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter;
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter; 20
Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me,
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd;
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,
If she refuse me: and from hence I go, 24
To make these doubts all even.
Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, 28
Methought he was a brother to your daughter;
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle, 32
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.
Enter Clown [i.e., Touchstone] and Audrey.
Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and
these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes
a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues
are called fools. 38
Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all!
Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This
is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so
often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier,
he swears. 43
Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put
me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I
have flattered a lady; I have been politic with
my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have un-
done three tailors; I have had four quarrels,
and like to have fought one. 49
Jaq. And how was that ta'en up?
Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel
was upon the seventh cause. 52
Jaq. How seventh cause? Good my lord,
like this fellow.
Duke S. I like him very well.
Touch. God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the
like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the
country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear,
according as marriage binds and blood breaks. 59
A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but
mine own: a poor humour of mine, sir, to take
that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells
like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl
in your foul oyster. 64
Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and
sententious.
Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and
such dulcet diseases. 68
Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you
find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:—
bear your body more seeming, Audrey:—as thus,
sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's 73
beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was
not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is
called 'the retort courteous.' If I sent him word
again, it was not well cut, he would send me
word, he cut it to please himself: this is called
the 'quip modest.' If again, it was not well cut,
he disabled my judgment: this is called the 80
'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut, he
would answer, I spake not true: this is called
the 'reproof valiant': if again, it was not well
cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the
'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie
circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'
Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was
not well cut? 88
Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie
circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie
direct'; and so we measured swords and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de-
grees of the lie? 93
Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the
book, as you have books for good manners: I
will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort
courteous'; the second, the 'quip modest'; the
third, the 'reply churlish'; the fourth, the 're-
proof valiant'; the fifth, the 'countercheck 99
quarrelsome'; the sixth, the 'lie with circum-
stance'; the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these
you may avoid but the lie direct; and you may
avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven
justices could not take up a quarrel; but when
the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an 'if,' as 'If you said so, then I
said so'; and they shook hands and swore
brothers. Your 'if' is the only peace-maker;
much virtue in 'if.' 109
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's
as good at anything, and yet a fool.
Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-
horse, and under the presentation of that he
shoots his wit. 114
Enter Hymen, Rosalind [in woman's dress], and Celia.
Still Music.
Hym. 'Then is there mirth in heaven,
When earthly things made even 116
Atone together.
Good duke, receive thy daughter;
Hymen from heaven brought her;
Yea, brought her hither, 120
That thou mightst join her hand with his,
Whose heart within her bosom is.'
Ros. [To Duke S.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.
[To Orlando.] To you I give myself, for I am yours. 124
Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe. If sight and shape be true,
Why then, my love adieu! 128
Ros. [To Duke S.] I'll have no father, if you be not he.
[To Orlando.] I'll have no husband, if you be not he:
[To Phebe.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
Hym. 'Peace, ho! I bar confusion: 132
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events:
Here's eight that must take hands
To join in Hymen's bands, 136
If truth holds true contents.'
[To Orlando and Rosalind.] You and you no cross shall part:
[To Oliver and Celia.] You and you are heart in heart:
[To Phebe.] You to his love must accord, 140
Or have a woman to your lord:
[To Touchstone and Audrey.] You and you are sure together,
As the winter to foul weather.
Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, 144
Feed yourselves with questioning,
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song.
'Wedding is great Juno's crown: 148
O blessed bond of board and bed!
'Tis Hymen peoples every town;
High wedlock then be honoured.
Honour, high honour, and renown, 152
To Hymen, god of every town!'
Duke S. O my dear niece! welcome thou art to me:
Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe. [To Silvius.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; 156
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Boys].
Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two:
I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly. 160
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd a mighty power, which were on foot
In his own conduct, purposely to take 164
His brother here and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted 168
Both from his enterprise and from the world;
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to them again
That were with him exil'd. This to be true, 172
I do engage my life.
Duke S.Welcome, young man;
Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
To one, his lands withheld; and to the other
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom. 176
First, in this forest, let us do those ends
That here were well begun and well begot;
And after, every of this happy number
That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us, 180
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustic revelry. 184
Play, music! and you, brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.
Jaq. Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life, 188
And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
Jaq. de B. He hath.
Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. 192
[To Duke S.] You to your former honour I bequeath;
Your patience and your virtue well deserve it:
[To Orlando.] You to a love that your true faith doth merit:
[To Oliver.] You to your land, and love, and great allies: 196
[To Silvius.] You to a long and well-deserved bed:
[To Touchstone.] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victual'd. So, to your pleasures:
I am for other than for dancing measures. 200
Duke S. Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would have
I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. Exit.
Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites, 204
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
[EPILOGUE.
Spoken by Rosalind.]
It is not the fashion to see the lady the
epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than
to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that
good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good
play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they 5
do use good bushes, and good plays prove the
better by the help of good epilogues. What a
case am I in then, that am neither a good epi-
logue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the be-
half of a good play! I am not furnished like a 10
beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my
way is, to conjure you; and I'll begin with the
women. I charge you, women! for the love
you bear to men, to like as much of this play as
please you: and I charge you, men! for the 15
love you bear to women,—as I perceive by your
simpering none of you hate them,—that between
you and the women, the play may please. If I
were a woman I would kiss as many of you as
had beards that pleased me, complexions that 20
liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and,
I am sure, as many as have good beards, or
good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind
offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.
FINIS
Footnotes to Act V
Scene One
13 we . . . flouting: i.e., we must have something to mock at
14 hold: i.e., our peace
16 God ye: God give you
49 ipse is he; cf. n.
59 translate: transform
61 bastinado: beating with a stick
62 bandy: strive
faction: dissension
o'errun: overwhelm
63 policy: craft
Scene Two
6 call . . . in question: scrutinize, inquire into
13 estate: bestow; cf. n.
15-19 Cf. n.
21 fair sister; cf. n.
23 heart in a scarf; cf. n.
33 where you are: i.e., what you are driving at
35 thrasonical: boastful; cf. n.
36 'I . . . overcame'; cf. n.
42 degrees: pun on two meanings: 'successive gradations' and 'steps'
44 incontinent: forthwith; cf. n.
45 wrath: ardor
46 clubs; cf. n.
60 conceit: understanding
62-65 neither . . . good; cf. n.
65 grace me: do honor to myself
69 damnable; cf. n.
70 gesture: bearing
74 inconvenient: undesirable
78 tender: regard
79 though . . . magician; cf. n.
86 study: diligent endeavor
102 wishes: longings
103 observance: service
105 Cf. n.
116 Irish wolves; cf. n.
Scene Three
5 woman of the world: married woman
10 are for you: agree to your proposal
12 clap into 't roundly: set about it briskly
14 only: invariable
16 a: one
Song; cf. n.
21 ring time: season for exchanging rings (in betrothal or marriage)
34 prime: spring
38 untuneable: discordant
Scene Four
4 As . . . fear; cf. n.
5 urg'd: clearly emphasized
18 even: smooth, i.e., plain
25 doubts: ambiguities
32 desperate: reckless, heterodox
34 Obscured: hidden, or, living in retirement
35 toward: forthcoming
44 put . . . purgation; cf. n.
45 measure: stately dance
47 undone three tailors; cf. n.
50 ta'en up: made up
56 desire . . . like; cf. n.
58 copulatives: i.e., persons about to be married
59 blood: passion
65 swift: quick-witted
66 sententious: pithy
67 fool's bolt: i.e., which is soon shot
68 dulcet diseases: sweet vexations (?)
72 seeming: becomingly
73 dislike: express disapproval of
79 'quip modest': i.e., a moderate flout
85 countercheck: rebuke
86 circumstantial: indirect
91 measured swords: fought a few passes
92 nominate: name
95 book; cf. n.
112 stalking-horse; cf. n.
113 presentation: display
114 S. d. Hymen; cf. n.
Still: soft
117 Atone: unite
121, 122 Cf. n.
127 sight and shape; cf. n.
137 truth . . . contents: i.e., if there be truth in truth
142 sure together: indissolubly united
146 reason: explanation
155 Even daughter; cf. n.
157 combine: bind
163 Address'd: prepared
power: army
164 conduct: guidance
168 question: talk
173 engage: pledge
174 offer'st fairly: makest generous offerings
177 do . . . ends: complete those purposes
180 shrewd: grievous
182 states: i.e., positions in the world
183 new-fall'n: recently acquired
186 With measure: temperately
191 convertites: converts
Epilogue