Have a Heart/It's a Sure, Sure Sign

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Verse 1

I've got a book I wouldn't lose for anything.
I might let you look, but I should hold it tight.
It's called "Advice to Ladies," it is full of wisdom's pearls;
For instance, if you're itching in the palm, dear girls,


It's a sure, sure sign
That you're coming into riches,
If your hand, it is that itches,
It's a sure, sure sign!
If your ribs should make you wiggle,
Then you're going to have a "tiggle."
If your ears are itching someone talks about you,
But if your lips are itching, oh, it's fine!
By a man with scrubby whiskers, you'll be kissed upon your birthday,
It's a sure, sure sign!

Verse 2

This little verse is in the cause of temperance,
For drink is a curse, that's why we put it down.
Perhaps you don't know when you've had enough, and want some more;
Well, if you're juggling hard boiled eggs at half-past four,


It's a sure, sure sign
That your brain is in a muddle,
When you lie down in a puddle,
Singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Absolutely diabolic'ly,
And breathing alcoholic'ly.
At last you clamber up into your bedroom
And then just as the sun begins to shine,
If you wake in nine eleven when your room is six o seven,
It's a sure, sure sign!

Verse 3

Girls, if the beau who wants to make a fuss of you
Should boast of his "dough," his yachts and motor cars.
To find out what he really is, is easy if you're fly;
For instance, if for goodnight, he just says "Bye-bye!"


It's a sure, sure sign
He's a butcher, and he'll grip you,
With his thumb and finger nip you,
Saying "Lamb, plump, fine!"
Then around you, he will fumble; "One and two a pound," he'll mumble.
If instead of saying "Sweetheart" he says "Sweetbread,"
Oh! won't you take this tender heart of mine?"
If when you answer yes, he goes to wrap it up in paper,
It's a sure, sure sign!