So they started on his turnips, which was summat to their taste,
Till Mister Martin's turnip patch became a howlin' waste.
"Then he natural grew peevish, till one afternoon he heard,
From a feller in the poultry line, about the Guffer Bird
Which is native of Mauritius and the woods of Tennessee,
An' preys upon the Wuzzle Swooks for breakfast, lunch, and tea.
"So he got some Guffer Birds
Over from Mauritius,
Which the same by nature are
Greedy an' malicious,
Which they et the Wuzzle Swooks—
Plague of cultivators—
Which they et the Grimble Grubs,
Which they et his taters.
"Then Martin swore by Guffer Birds, until one day he found
They'd et up all the Wuzzle Swooks for miles an' miles around,
An', havin' still some appetite, an' bein' mighty mean,
They perched upon his apple trees and stripped his orchard clean.
"Here's where Martin got excited; he was in an awful funk,
Until one day he read about the little Warty Swunk,
Which has his home in Mexico, an' lives on Guffer Birds;
An' Martin, bein' desperate, imported him in herds.
