Because they talked too much—
Always discussing the latest play
Their social affairs and such!
Though gossip I just hate—
The poor dear lost her position
Because she came in late!
Ethel's not one of the best—
For she doesn't use her permanent decimal point
And that is the acid test!
What Sally does in days,
For Sally used Instruction Service
And found out that it pays!
—Helen Lawler, St. Paul.
***
SHE KNEW IT!
Observing a young lady standing alone, the young man swept up to her and said:
"Pardon me, but you look like Helen Black."
"Yes," she replied, "I know I do, but I look much worse in white."—Atlanta and West Point "Courier."
***
AN OPTIMIST.
"Gosh! You had a close call! That certainly was an awful accident!" exclaimed the friend who had dropped in at the hospital to call on the bandaged victim.
"Yes," he replied dreamily; "but thank goodness, I got an eyeful of what I was looking at before the car hit that telephone pole and I was knocked unconscious."—Cincinnati Enquirer.
***
WRONG PLACE
A Chicago man died and passesd into the great beyond. A guide showed him about, but after an hour of wan- dering the Chicago man said contemptuously:
"Well, I've heard Heaven cracked up a whole lot, but I'm telling you it ain't a darn bit different from Chicago."
"Heaven!" exclaimed the guide. "This isn't Heaven."—Finance and Industry.
***
OH BOY!
First Steno: "George's mustache makes me laugh."
Second Steno: "It tickled me, too."
***
SEEN IN A GARAGE
Use genuine parts. No substitutes as good. Ask the man with a wooden leg.
***
ANOTHER TEST
Tom: "What are you putting your thumb in the corn likker for?"
Jerry: "If the nail stays on I'm going to drink it."
