Engagements and Weddings
Difference Between American and European Ideas—Engagement Rings—Allowable Gifts by the Fiance—Payment for Wedding Expenses—When Invitations Should be Acknowledged—Dress and Duties of Those Who Take Part in the Ceremony—About the Rice and Slippers—Good Form in the Style of Wedding Announcements.
In one thing America has refused to import its manners from Europe. We do not "arrange" marriages. A girl is protected from flirtations, undesirable and fortune-hunting young men, but marriage for love is encouraged. When a young man of good character, education, agreeable manners and prospects in business, decides that he wishes to marry a certain girl, the opportunity to tell her so is always given him by her guardians. He proposes and is accepted before he "asks papa," although, of course, no well bred young man or woman would become engaged without the approval of both families.
The engagement should be announced at once to immediate relations on both sides. If living in the same city, the young man's family calls on the family of the young lady, and invites them to dinner. Announcing the Engagement There should be no delay or lack of cordiality in welcoming the girl of a son's choice. If living in another place, the young man's mother should write an affectionate letter, and ask the future daughter-in-law to visit her and her daughters. Later the girl sends personal notes to her own intimate girl friends, announcing the news, or she gives a luncheon to them and displays her engagement ring for the first time. For the ring a diamond solitaire is first choice, but it may be any jewel except a pearl, which suggests tears, or an opal, which is considered unlucky. A sapphire is very beautiful. Some weeks before the wedding a general announcement is made in the society columns of the local papers, in both cities, if the man and the girl live in different places.
In this country a good deal of liberty is allowed the engaged couple. A girl may receive her fiance alone, but in a room which is
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