Margaret's family treated her, in this exigency, with the grateful consideration due to her love, and urgently besought her to take the necessary means, and fulfil her father’s plan. But she could not make up her mind to forsake them, preferring rather to abandon her long-cherished literary designs. Her struggles and her triumph thus appear in her letters: —
‘January 30, 1836. — I was a great deal with Miss
Martineau, while in Cambridge, and love her more than
ever. She is to stay till August, and go to England
with Mr. and Mrs. Farrar. If I should accompany them
I shall be with her while in London, and see the best
literary society. If I should go, you will be with
mother the while, will not you?[1] Oh, dear E——,
you know not how I fear and tremble to come to a
decision. My temporal all seems hanging upon it, and
the prospect is most alluring. A few thousand dollars
would make all so easy, so safe. As it is, I cannot tell
what is coming to us, for the estate will not be settled
when I go. I pray to God ceaselessly that I may decide
wisely.’
‘April 17th, 1836. — If I am not to go with you I shall
be obliged to tear my heart, by a violent effort, from its
present objects and natural desires. But I shall feel the
necessity, and will do it if the life-blood follows through
the rent. Probably, I shall not even think it best to
correspond with you at all while you are in Europe.
Meanwhile, let us be friends indeed. The generous and
unfailing love which you have shown me during these
three years, when I could be so little to you, your indul-
- ↑ Her eldest brother.
