Page:Once a Week, Series 1, Volume II Dec 1859 to June 1860.pdf/483

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
470
ONCE A WEEK.
[May 19, 1860.

must fairly be admitted that she was not unwilling to take upon herself her fair share of the burdens of the day. Her great desire was to be of use, and so she had spent her morning in getting up the more recondite points of the Schleswig-Holstein question, carrying them down to the dates of the latest advices. She also informed me that to-morrow, after she had given the children their dinners, it was her intention to make herself complete mistress of the late Mr. Muntz’s opinions on the currency; but, as I told her, the subject was not now attracting any great share of public attention, and, besides, it was not quite as simple as it looked at first sight. Upon these points, and many others of equal moment, I must be silent, and entreat the reader to accompany me at noon of the next day to the offices of Mr. Lobby in Whitehall Place.

That gentleman received me with great courtesy, but although I had been led to believe that many of the stories which were afloat about him contained a great deal of exaggeration, I confess I was not prepared for the perfect simplicity of character which he evinced during our interview. It was indeed somewhat difficult to hold him to the precise point on which I was seeking his advice. He besought me, not without a certain degree of pathos, whatever I did, never to countenance bribery or corruption in any way. “A humble meal and a clear conscience, Mr. Jones, are better than a seat for the West Riding obtained by such means—besides, it always comes out before the Committee. There’s very little of it now o’ days—very little of it. It is not as when I first came into the profession. In those days—to make no mention of bribery—people used to think nothing of making a few scores of voters drunk, and shipping them off in coal-lighters till the election was over. It was shocking, indeed. Ah! sir, I could tell you such stories of matters that were brought to my knowledge after the fact. It is quite painful to the better part of our nature to think that such things have been. There’s very little of it now, though—very little indeed.”

Jones. “But what do you say to the story of Peckover the other day, Mr. Lobby?”

Mr. Lobby. “Well, well, pork always will rise in price at election times—”

Jones. “—and what do you think of the Man in the Moon, eh, Mr. Lobby?”

Mr. Lobby. “My dear sir, I am a humble Parliamentary agent—not an astronomer. I have no opinion about such things. I hope for the best, and am reluctant to believe ill of my fellow-creatures. Now what was the story you are speaking about?”

It was very odd that Mr. L. should be ignorant of this story, which seemed to be very much in the way of his profession; but I thought that if I were to give him the little narrative in a succinct, but yet in a jocular manner, I should convey to his mind the impression that I was a person who could be trusted. Of course I did not want Mr. Lobby to understand that I was ready to buy and pay for a constituency as I would for a cask of beer, but at the same time I did not wish him to think of me as an impracticable purist. I was not indisposed to do just what all quiet members do, without asking any questions, or making any undue disturbance. All that I obtained, however, from Mr. L., was a renewal of entreaties never to countenance bribery and corruption in any form.

“Such practices,” that gentleman was pleased to observe, “struck at the roots of private morality, and sapped the bulwarks of the constitution. There was another custom too, against which he would earnestly warn me. It had come to his knowledge, in an indirect way, that in certain of the smaller constituencies, certain attorneys, who were the opprobrium of their profession, were in the habit of establishing pecuniary claims against the humbler voters, which they could either hold over or enforce at their pleasure. This also was a practice which struck at the roots of private morality, and sapped the bulwarks of the constitution. Was not a vote a trust?—a public trust of the most sacred character? Was it not most wicked and abominable to put pressure upon the voter, and cause him to register his vote against his own deliberately formed opinions? If this was right, what became of the settlement of 1832? However, Mr. L. was obliged to recognise the existence of such persons in certain constituencies, and he had been informed, upon authority which he saw no reason to doubt, that they had made themselves indispensable to any one who hoped to carry the seats. He warned me, however, to have nothing to do with them—for a seat obtained by such means would never be retained with a clear conscience—and without a clear conscience a man could never hope to prosper in public life. I had brought him an introduction from our mutual friend Moon, and he thought the best thing he could do was to be of service to me by putting me on my guard against such traps and pitfalls as those he had indicated.”

Surely here was a man who had been much wronged by public rumour.

This, however, was not the precise point on which I had visited Mr. Lobby’s offices. I confess I was a little ashamed of myself for having dared to speak of the hideous offences of bribery and corruption with any approach to levity in the presence of a gentleman who approached the hustings with so much austerity, and in so truly Spartan a spirit. To change the subject, I incidentally mentioned that I had just missed the Sloth yesterday, when I noticed that Mr. Lobby gave me a sharp curious glance, and asked if I had brought him anything from that gentleman. My reply was of course in the negative, and Mr. Lobby instantly relapsed into his highly moral and didactic strain. There would be a general election in the autumn, and, in the interval, if any vacancy occurred which seemed to promise fairly for the chances of a candidate who was ready to take the field upon strict principles of purity, and as Mr. L. jocosely observed, the three nons, he would communicate with me. The three nons, as he informed me, were non-bribery, non-corruption, non-intimidation. With these words, and with a final warning never to strike at the roots of private morality, nor to sap the bulwarks of the constitution, Mr. Lobby dismissed me from his severe presence.

To do him but justice, he did communicate with