let us suppose that we have a majority of Socialists in Congress, and these men decide that the Standard Oil Company shall become the property of Uncle Sam, and shall be run like the postal department, not for the profit of the few, but to serve the many. They will send Uncle Sam to John D. Rockefeller and he will say:
"Rocky, the boys down in Congress have decided to buy out your grease business." "What's that for?" says Rockefeller. "Oh," says Uncle Sam, "the boys say that at one time you were all right; you organized the grease business, you eliminated the foolish waste, strife and competition. But of late, you have become the durndest nuisance we have in this country, for, instead of sticking strictly to the grease business, you have gone into the government business also. Your right hand bower, Archibold, runs a regular correspondence school with senators and congressmen. When the people of Ohio elected that grand old patriot, Joe Foraker, a man who bled and died for his country, to the United States Senate, to serve them, you came around and greased his palm, and instead of serving the people of his state, he became your hired hand. The people of Texas sent that brilliant and eloquent young Democrat, Joe Bailey, to tie a knot in the tail of the octopus, and you dipped Joe in coal oil all over and he has done your dirty work ever since."
"The boys say it's got to stop. You have got to go out of the government business, and the only way we can put you out of the government business, is by putting you out of the grease business, for you are only in the government business to protect your grease business." "Well," says Rockefeller, "an all-wise providence has entrusted me with the running of the oil
13