The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
'Last summer I was workin' for ole Buncer,' said a little man with a cutaway coat several sizes too large for him. 'I was workin' for ole Buncer, over at Windley, an' you all knows as 'e don't arf lower it. Well, one day, wen I knowed 'e was on the drunk, I 'ad to first coat a room out, white; so thinks I to meself: "If I buck up I shall be able to get this lot done by about four o'clock, an' then I can clear orf 'ome." 'Cos I reckoned as 'e'd be about flattened out by that time, an' you know 'e ain't got no foreman. So I tears into it an' gets this 'ere room done about a quarter past four an' I'd jist got me things put away for the night wen 'oo should come fallin' up the bloody stairs but ole Buncer, drunk as a howl! An' no sooner 'e gits inter the room than 'e starts yappin' an' rampin'! "Is this 'ere hall you've done?" 'e shouts out. "Wothcher bin up to hall day?" 'e ses; an' 'e keeps on shoutin' an' swearin' till at last I couldn't stand it no longer, 'cos you can guess I wasn't in a very good temper with 'im comin' along jist then wen I thought I was goin' to get orf a bit early. So wen 'e kept on shoutin' I never made no answer to 'im but I ups with me fist an' I gives 'im a slosh in the dial an' stopped 'is clock! Then I chucked the pot o' wite paint hover 'im an' kicked 'im down the bloody stairs.'
'Serve 'im blooming well right, too,' said Crass, as he took a fresh glass of beer from one of the others, who had just 'stood' another round.
'What did the blighter say to that?' enquired the tall man.
'Not a bloody word!' replied the little man. ''E picked 'iself up and called a keb wot was passin' an' got inter it an' went 'ome, an' I never seen no more of 'im until about arf past eleven the next day, wen I was second coatin' the room, an' 'e comes up with a noo suit o' clothes on an' arsts me if I'd like to come hover to the pub an' 'ave a drink? So we goes hover an' 'e calls for a whisky an' soda for 'isself an' arsts me wot I'd 'ave, so I 'ad the same. An' wile we was gettin' it down us, 'e ses to me: "Ah, Garge," 'e ses, "you losed your temper with me yesterday," 'e ses.'
'There you are, you see!' said the tall man. 'There's an example for yer! If you 'adn't served 'im as you did you'd most likely have 'ad to put up with a lot more ole buck.'
They all agreed that the little man had done quite right. They all said that they didn't blame him in the least; they
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