Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/60

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50
LIFE OF REV. JOHN MURRAY.

This, my dear lady, is the whole I know of the matter; I fear, Miss Little will never forgive me, for creating her so much distress: I had infinitely rather be dead, than alive; I dread the eye of Mr. Little, and, it is my opinion, I ought immediately to quit your hospitable mansion. "Alas! my dear child, I know not what to say; you believe you ought to quit us! Would to God you had never thus thought. This persuasion is the source of all our unhappiness: How often have I told you, that no enemy could ever injure you, if your own conduct was uniformly correct. You have deeply wounded a heart that loves you. I promised myself, that you would become a large addition to our domestic felicity. But you are apprehensive you have offended beyond forgiveness! Alas! my daughter is more distressed for you, than for herself; you know not how much she has suffered on your account; you know not how much we all suffer! Why, my dear child, will you thus afflict your best friends?" I am, my dear madam, grieved to have been the source of so much distress to persons so dear to me; but I shall shortly be out of the way of offending any one. "What do you mean?" To quit this house, to quit this country. The dear lady threw her maternal arms around me, and with flowing tears interrogated: "Is it thus you will avoid offending us? Ah, my dear child, how little do you know of us, or of yourself: For God's sake, let me persuade you not to take so rash a step! Where would you go, what would you do? Would you leave a home, an envied home, and thus, while you afflicted your dearest friends, gratify your malignant foes?" But, my dear madam, it is impossible I can continue under this roof. Mr. Little will not restore me his confidence, my felicity in this family is fled, forever fled. "You are mistaken, your happiness rests entirely with yourself; be but uniformly discreet, be but the companion we expected, when we adopted you, and all will yet be well." But, madam, the eye and ear of Mr. Little will now be open against me, suspicion will be on the alert, and he will accept the tales of my enemies, as testimonies of sacred writ. "Believe it not; think no more of this untoward business; you have but one enemy who can essentially injure you, and that enemy is yourself. I will be responsible for my family; you shall not be molested in this house, only convince us, that you love us; do but prove, that you are more attached to us, than to any other individuals, and we are satisfied: Do but reflect, how delightfully we might pass our time together. The business of the day closed, and we assembled in the parlour; you with your book,