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Twelfe Night, or, What you will.
Till I had made mine owne occasion mellow
What my estate is.
What my estate is.
Cap.
That were hard to compasse,
Because she will admit no kinde of suite,
No, not the Dukes.
That were hard to compasse,
Because she will admit no kinde of suite,
No, not the Dukes.
Vio.
There is a faire behauiour in thee Captaine,
And though that nature, with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution: yet of thee
I will beleeue thou hast a minde that suites
With this thy faire and outward charracter.
I prethee (and Ile pay thee bounteously)
Conceale me what I am, and be my ayde,
For such disguise as haply shall become
The forme of my intent. Ile serue this Duke,
Thou shalt present me as an Eunuch to him,
It may be worth thy paines: for I can sing,
And speake to him in many sorts of Musicke,
That will allow me very worth his seruice.
What else may hap, to time I will commit,
Onely shape thou thy silence to my wit.
There is a faire behauiour in thee Captaine,
And though that nature, with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution: yet of thee
I will beleeue thou hast a minde that suites
With this thy faire and outward charracter.
I prethee (and Ile pay thee bounteously)
Conceale me what I am, and be my ayde,
For such disguise as haply shall become
The forme of my intent. Ile serue this Duke,
Thou shalt present me as an Eunuch to him,
It may be worth thy paines: for I can sing,
And speake to him in many sorts of Musicke,
That will allow me very worth his seruice.
What else may hap, to time I will commit,
Onely shape thou thy silence to my wit.
Cap.
Be you his Eunuch, and your Mute Ile bee,
When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.
Be you his Eunuch, and your Mute Ile bee,
When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.
Vio.
ExeuntI thanke thee: Lead me on.
ExeuntI thanke thee: Lead me on.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Sir Toby, and Maria.
Sir To.
What a plague meanes my Neece to take the
death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemie to life.
What a plague meanes my Neece to take the
death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemie to life.
Mar.
By my troth sir Toby, you must come in earlyer
a nights: your Cosin, my Lady, takes great exceptions
to your ill houres.
By my troth sir Toby, you must come in earlyer
a nights: your Cosin, my Lady, takes great exceptions
to your ill houres.
To.
Why let her except, before excepted.
Why let her except, before excepted.
Ma.
I, but you must confine your selfe within the modest limits of order.
I, but you must confine your selfe within the modest limits of order.
To.
Confine? Ile confine my selfe no finer then I am:
these cloathes are good enough to drinke in, and so bee
these boots too: and they be not, let them hang themselues
in their owne straps.
Confine? Ile confine my selfe no finer then I am:
these cloathes are good enough to drinke in, and so bee
these boots too: and they be not, let them hang themselues
in their owne straps.
Ma.
That quaffing and drinking will vndoe you: I
heard my Lady talke of it yesterday: and of a foolish
knight that you brought in one night here, to be hir woer
That quaffing and drinking will vndoe you: I
heard my Lady talke of it yesterday: and of a foolish
knight that you brought in one night here, to be hir woer
To.
Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheeke?
Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheeke?
Ma.
I he.
I he.
To.
He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
Ma.
What's that to th' purpose?
What's that to th' purpose?
To.
Why he ha's three thousand ducates a yeare.
Why he ha's three thousand ducates a yeare.
Ma.
I, but hee'l haue but a yeare in all these ducates:
He's a very foole, and a prodigall.
I, but hee'l haue but a yeare in all these ducates:
He's a very foole, and a prodigall.
To.
Fie, that you'l say so: he playes o'th Viol-de-gamboys,
and speaks three or four languages word for word
without booke, & hath all the good gifts of nature.
Fie, that you'l say so: he playes o'th Viol-de-gamboys,
and speaks three or four languages word for word
without booke, & hath all the good gifts of nature.
Ma.
He hath indeed, almost naturall: for besides that
he's a foole, he's a great quarreller: and but that hee hath
the gift of a Coward, to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling,
'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickely
haue the gift of a graue.
He hath indeed, almost naturall: for besides that
he's a foole, he's a great quarreller: and but that hee hath
the gift of a Coward, to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling,
'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickely
haue the gift of a graue.
Tob.
By this hand they are scoundrels and substractors
that say so of him. Who are they?
By this hand they are scoundrels and substractors
that say so of him. Who are they?
Ma.
They that adde moreour, hee's drunke nightly in your company.
They that adde moreour, hee's drunke nightly in your company.
To.
With drinking healths to my Neece: Ile drinke
to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, & drinke
in Illyria: he's a Coward and a Coystrill that will not
drinke to my Neece, till his braines turne o'th toe, like a
parish top. What wench? Castiliano vulgo: for here coms
Sir Andrew Agueface.
With drinking healths to my Neece: Ile drinke
to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, & drinke
in Illyria: he's a Coward and a Coystrill that will not
drinke to my Neece, till his braines turne o'th toe, like a
parish top. What wench? Castiliano vulgo: for here coms
Sir Andrew Agueface.
Enter Sir Andrew.
And.
Sir Toby Belch. How now sir Toby Belch?
Sir Toby Belch. How now sir Toby Belch?
To.
Sweet sir Andrew.
Sweet sir Andrew.
And.
Blesse you faire Shrew.
Blesse you faire Shrew.
Mar.
And you too sir.
And you too sir.
Tob.
Accost Sir Andrew, accost.
Accost Sir Andrew, accost.
And.
What's that?
What's that?
To.
My Neeces Chamber-maid.
My Neeces Chamber-maid.
Ma.
Good Mistris accost, I desire better acquaintance
Good Mistris accost, I desire better acquaintance
Ma.
My name is Mary sir.
My name is Mary sir.
And.
Good mistris Mary, accost.
Good mistris Mary, accost.
To.
You mistake knight: Accost, is front her, boord
her, woe her, assayle her.
You mistake knight: Accost, is front her, boord
her, woe her, assayle her.
And.
By my troth I would not vndertake her in this
company. Is that the meaning of Accost?
By my troth I would not vndertake her in this
company. Is that the meaning of Accost?
Ma.
Far you well Gentlemen.
Far you well Gentlemen.
To.
And thou let part so Sir Andrew, would thou
mightst neuer draw sword agen.
And thou let part so Sir Andrew, would thou
mightst neuer draw sword agen.
And.
And you part so mistris, I would I might neuer
draw sword agen: Faire Lady, doe you thinke you haue
fooles in hand?
And you part so mistris, I would I might neuer
draw sword agen: Faire Lady, doe you thinke you haue
fooles in hand?
Ma.
Sir, I haue not you by'th hand.
Sir, I haue not you by'th hand.
An.
Marry but you shall haue, and heeres my hand.
Marry but you shall haue, and heeres my hand.
Ma.
Now sir, thought is free: I pray you bring your
hand to'th Buttry barre, and let it drinke.
Now sir, thought is free: I pray you bring your
hand to'th Buttry barre, and let it drinke.
An.
Wherefore (sweet-heart?) What's your Metaphor?
Wherefore (sweet-heart?) What's your Metaphor?
Ma.
It's dry sir.
It's dry sir.
And.
Why I thinke so: I am not such an asse, but I
can keepe my hand dry. But what's your iest?
Why I thinke so: I am not such an asse, but I
can keepe my hand dry. But what's your iest?
Ma.
A dry iest Sir.
A dry iest Sir.
And.
Are you full of them?
Are you full of them?
Ma.
I Sir, I haue them at my fingers ends: marry now
Exit MariaI let go your hand, I am barren.
I Sir, I haue them at my fingers ends: marry now
Exit MariaI let go your hand, I am barren.
To.
O knight, thou lack'st a cup of Canarie: when did
I see thee so put downe?
O knight, thou lack'st a cup of Canarie: when did
I see thee so put downe?
An.
Neuer in your life I thinke, vnlesse you see Canarie
put me downe: mee thinkes sometimes I haue no
more wit then a Christian, or an ordinary man ha's: but I
am a great eater of beefe, and I beleeue that does harme
to my wit.
Neuer in your life I thinke, vnlesse you see Canarie
put me downe: mee thinkes sometimes I haue no
more wit then a Christian, or an ordinary man ha's: but I
am a great eater of beefe, and I beleeue that does harme
to my wit.
To.
No question.
No question.
An.
And I thought that, I'de forsweare it. Ile ride
home to morrow sir Toby.
And I thought that, I'de forsweare it. Ile ride
home to morrow sir Toby.
To.
Pur-quoy my deere knight?
Pur-quoy my deere knight?
An.
What is purquoy? Do, or not do? I would I had
bestowed that time in the tongues, that I haue in fencing
dancing, and beare-bayting: O had I but followed the Arts.
What is purquoy? Do, or not do? I would I had
bestowed that time in the tongues, that I haue in fencing
dancing, and beare-bayting: O had I but followed the Arts.
To.
Then hadst thou had an excellent head of haire.
Then hadst thou had an excellent head of haire.
An.
Why, would that haue mended my haire?
Why, would that haue mended my haire?
To.
Past question, for thou seest it will not coole my nature.
Past question, for thou seest it will not coole my nature.
An.
But it becoms me wel enough, dost not?
But it becoms me wel enough, dost not?
To.
Excellent, it hangs like flax on a distaffe: & I hope
to see a huswife take thee between her legs, & spin it off.
Excellent, it hangs like flax on a distaffe: & I hope
to see a huswife take thee between her legs, & spin it off.
An.
Faith Ile home to morrow sir Toby, your niece wil
not be seene, or if she be it's four to one, she'l none of me:
the Count himselfe here hard by, wooes her.
Faith Ile home to morrow sir Toby, your niece wil
not be seene, or if she be it's four to one, she'l none of me:
the Count himselfe here hard by, wooes her.
To.
Shee'l none o'th Count, she'l not match aboue hir
degree, neither in estate, yeares, nor wit: I haue heard her
swear't. Tut there's life in't man.
Shee'l none o'th Count, she'l not match aboue hir
degree, neither in estate, yeares, nor wit: I haue heard her
swear't. Tut there's life in't man.
And
