Page:The Novels and Tales of Henry James, Volume 1 (New York, Charles Scribner's Sons, 1907).djvu/242

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RODERICK HUDSON

whatever design she might have contrived against his equanimity. A roll, after he had found her a seat, was easily procured. As he presented it he remarked that, frankly speaking, he was at a loss to understand why she should have selected for the honour of so great an attention a poor man who could do so little to please her.

"Ah yes, of course I dislike you!" said Christina. "To tell the truth I had forgotten it. There are so many people here whom I dislike more that when I caught your eye just now you seemed an intimate friend. But I 've not come into this corner to talk nonsense," she went on. "You mustn't think I always do, eh?"

"I 've never heard you do anything else," said Rowland sturdily, having decided that he would keep only on the broad highroad with her.

"Very good. I like your frankness. It's quite true. You see I 'm a strange girl, and rather bold and bad. D'abord, I 'm frightfully egotistical. Don't flatter yourself you 've said anything very clever if you ever take it into your head to tell me so. I know it much better than you. So it is; I can't help it. I 'm tired to death of myself; I would give all I possess to get out of myself; but somehow at the end I find my self so vastly more interesting than nine-tenths of the people I meet. If a person wished to do me a favour I would say to him: 'I beg you with tears in my eyes to interest me. Be a brute, if necessary, to do it; only be something positive and strong—something that in looking at I can forget my detestable self!' Perhaps that 's nonsense too. If it is I can't

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