278 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OP
Mr. Stig'gins groaned.
" What's the matter with that 'ere gen'lm'n ? *' inquired Sam.
" He's shocked at the way your father goes on, in — " replied Mrs, Waller.
" Oh, he is, is he?" said Sam.
" And with too good reason," added Mrs. Weller, gravely.
Mr. Stiggins took up a fresh piece of toast, and groaned heavily.
" He is a dreadful reprobate," said Mrs. Weller.
" A man of wrath ! " exclaimed Mr. Stiggins. And he took a large semi-circular bite out of the toast, and groaned again.
Sam felt very strongly disposed to give the reverend Mr. Stiggins something to groan for, but he repressed his inclination, and merely asked, *' What's the old 'un up to, now ?"
"Up to, indeed!" said Mrs. Weller, ** oh, he has a hard heart. Night after night does this excellent man — don't frown, Mr. Stiggins, I will say you are an excellent man — come and sit here, for hours to- gether, and it has not the least effect upon him."
" Well, that is odd," said Sam ; " it 'ud have a wery considerable effect upon me, if I wos in his place, I know that."
- The fact is, my young friend," said Mr. Stiggins, solemnly, " he
has an obderrate bosom. Oh, my young friend, who else could have resisted the pleading of sixteen of our fairest sisters, and withstood their exhortations to subscribe to our noble society for providing the infant negroes in the West Indies with flannel waistcoats and moral pocket handkerchiefs ? "
" What's a moral pocket ankercher ?" said Sam; " I never see one o' them articles o' furniter."
" Those which combine amusement with instruction, my young friend," replied Mr. Stiggins, *' blending select tales with wood-cuts."
" Oh, I know," said Sam, " them as hangs up in the linen-drapers* shops, with beggars' petitions and all that 'ere upon 'em ? "
Mr. Stiggins began a third round of toast, and nodded assent.
" And he wouldn't be persuaded by the ladies, wouldn't he?" said Sam.
" Sat and smoked his pipe, and said the infant negroes were — what did he say the infant negroes were ?" said Mrs. Weller.
" Little humbugs," replied Mr. Stiggins, deeply affected.
" Said the infant negroes were little humbugs," repeated Mrs. Weller. And they both groaned at the atrocious conduct of the elder Mr. Samuel.
A great many more iniquities of a similar nature might have been disclosed, only the toast being all eat, the tea having got very weak, and Sam holding out no indications of meaning to go, Mr. Stiggins suddenly recollected that he had a most pressing appointment with the shepherd, and took himself off accordingly.
The tea-things had been scarcely put away, and the hearth swept up, when the London coach deposited Mr. Weller senior at the door, hili* legs deposited him in the bar, and his eyes shewed him his son
" What, Sammy ! " exclaimed the father
