Page:The Yellow Book - 05.djvu/29

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By H. D. Traill
21

some of my own opinions, which are of course of a much more advanced scepticism than hers. I have considered the question of disguising or qualifying them, and have come without doubt—or I think without much doubt—to the conclusion that I am not justified in doing so. I have never believed in the morality of—

Leave thou thy sister, when she prays,
Her early Heaven, her happy views;
Nor thou with shadowed hint confuse
A life that leads melodious days.

"Besides, there is no interpretation clause at the end of In Memoriam to say that the term sister shall include maiden aunt. Moreover, I have every reason to suspect that my aunt Catherine has ceased to pray, and I am sure her days are anything but melodious just now, poor old soul. It is all very well to respect other people's religious illusions as long as they remain undisturbed in the minds of those who harbour them. So long the maxim Wen Gott betrügt ist wohl betrogen undoubtedly applies. But what if the Divine Deceiver begins to lose his power of deceiving? Is it the business of any of his creatures to come to his assistance?

"June 20.—I have just returned from an hour's interview with my aunt, who almost immediately opened out on the question of her doubts. She spoke of them in tones of profound, indeed of almost tragic agitation; and I could not bring myself to say any thing which would increase her mental anguish, as I thought might happen if I confessed to sharing them. I accordingly found myself reverting after all to the old commonplaces,—that these things were mysteries and so forth (which of course is exactly the trouble), and the rest of the vacant chaff well meant for grain. It had a soothing effect at the time, and I returned home well

pleased