Page:Tom Lehrer song lyrics (website).pdf/47

LOBACHEVSKY

words and music by Tom Lehrer

Author's note: Most of the following is meant to be spoken rather than sung, freely in some cases and rhythmically in others. The specific accompaniment used by the author on his recording would require too many pages to write out and is therefore omitted. Prospective performers of the piece (if any) are advised to heed its basic precept and plagiarize the author's version.

The author would like to make it clear that. although Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky (1793-1856) was a genuine, and indeed eminent, mathematician, the peccadlllos attributed to him herein are not substantiated by history. The format of the song was suggested by a Danny Kaye-Sylvia Fine routine entitled "Stanislavsky", and the name of the protagonist was chosen for purely prosodic reasons.

(spoken)	Who made me the genius I am today, The mathematician that others all quote? Who's the professor that made me that way? The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.
(sung)	One man deserves the credit, One man deserves the blame, And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach —
(spoken)	I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize! Plagiarize! Let no one else's work evade your eyes. Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize — Only be sure always to call it please "research".
(sung)	And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same. And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach —
(spoken)	I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It was on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean metrization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold. Bozhe moi! This I know from nothing. But I think of gtreat Lobachevsky and get idea — ahah!
(sung)	I have a friend in Minsk, Who has a friend in Pinsk, Whose friend in Omsk Has friend in Tomsk With friend in Akmolinsk. His friend in Alexandrovsk