Page:Tom Lehrer song lyrics (website).pdf/48

	Has friend in Petropavlovsk, Whose friend somehow Is solving now The problem in Dnepropetrovsk. And when his work is done — Haha! — begins the fun: From Dnepropetrovsk to Petropavlovsk, By way of Iliysk and Novorossiysk, To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk To Tomsk to Omsk to Pinsk to Minsk To me the new will run, Yes, to me the news will run. And then I write By morning, night, And afternoon, And pretty soon My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed, When he finds out I publish first. And who made me a big success and brought me wealth and fame? Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach —
(spoken)	I am never forget the day my first book is published. Every chapter I stole from somewhere else. Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory. Thie book was sensational! Pravda — well — Pravda — Pravda said: [1] "It stinks!" But Izvestia — Izvestia said: [1] "It stinks!" Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles, Changing title to "The Eternal Triangle", With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse.
(sung)	And who deserves the credit? And who deserves the blame? Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi!

1. At each of these two junctures one should insert some phrase in Russian (if the audience does not speak Russian) or some Russian double-talk (if it does). The author's own choices varied from performance to performance, ranging from the merely inappropriate to the distinctly obscene.