Salmagundi (Huddesford, 1791)/Song on the breaking of the Water-Head, near Windsor Great Park, commonly called, the Pond-Head
SONG
ON THE BREAKING OF THE WATER-HEAD, NEAR
WINDSOR GREAT PARK,
COMMONLY CALLED, THE POND-HEAD.
When *** was employ'd to construct the Pond Head,
As he ponder'd the task, to himself thus he said:
"Since a head I must make, what's a head but a noddle?
"So I think I had best take My Own for a model."
Derry down, &c.
As he ponder'd the task, to himself thus he said:
"Since a head I must make, what's a head but a noddle?
"So I think I had best take My Own for a model."
Derry down, &c.
Then his work our Projector began out of hand,
The outside he constructed with rubbish and sand,
But brains on this Head had been quite thrown away,
Those he kept for himself, so he lined it with clay.
The outside he constructed with rubbish and sand,
But brains on this Head had been quite thrown away,
Those he kept for himself, so he lined it with clay.
An head thus compacted and well put together
Bade defiance he thought both to water and weather,
With profound admiration must strike all beholders,
And surpass ev'ry head except that on his shoulders.
Bade defiance he thought both to water and weather,
With profound admiration must strike all beholders,
And surpass ev'ry head except that on his shoulders.
The fam'd Friar Bacon he 'counted an ass,
Tho' the head that He made was a blockhead of brass;
And he little suspected it e'er should be said,
That himself all this while was not right in his head.
Tho' the head that He made was a blockhead of brass;
And he little suspected it e'er should be said,
That himself all this while was not right in his head.
But the water at length, to his utter dismay,
A Bankruptcy made, and his head ran away;
'Twas a thick head for certain; but, had it been thicker,
No head can endure that is always in liquor.
A Bankruptcy made, and his head ran away;
'Twas a thick head for certain; but, had it been thicker,
No head can endure that is always in liquor.
It was owing no doubt to some Capital error,
That one Broken Head struck the country with terror;
And 'twas well for the folks whom this deluge surrounded
That, born to be hang'd, there were none of them drowned.
That one Broken Head struck the country with terror;
And 'twas well for the folks whom this deluge surrounded
That, born to be hang'd, there were none of them drowned.
Trump's Mill in the Bottom was never supplied,
Since first it went round, with so plenteous a tide;
Yet the Miller he wish'd that our head-maker's skill
Less water had sent and more grist to his mill.
Since first it went round, with so plenteous a tide;
Yet the Miller he wish'd that our head-maker's skill
Less water had sent and more grist to his mill.
Our Projector, in truth, left him little to brag on
When his meal-sacks march'd off without horses or waggon;
And to rescue himself he must fain stir his stumps:
Such an odd trick was play'd on this Miller of Trump's!
When his meal-sacks march'd off without horses or waggon;
And to rescue himself he must fain stir his stumps:
Such an odd trick was play'd on this Miller of Trump's!
Yet full as ill as the Miller has sped,
And atones for his fault with the loss of his Head:
Tho' some folks will tell you, (believe 'em who list)
Long ago had he lost it, 't would ne'er have been miss'd.
And atones for his fault with the loss of his Head:
Tho' some folks will tell you, (believe 'em who list)
Long ago had he lost it, 't would ne'er have been miss'd.
Now, although I must own 'tis a difficult case
In discussing this head to preserve a grave face,
More compassion its Maker may challenge than satire,
Since 'tis plain that he can't keep his head above water.
In discussing this head to preserve a grave face,
More compassion its Maker may challenge than satire,
Since 'tis plain that he can't keep his head above water.
This at least may be urg'd in his favour I deem;
His is not the first head which has gone with the stream:
And—as for his Honour—'tis safe you may swear,
Since Butler has told us That lodges elsewhere.l
His is not the first head which has gone with the stream:
And—as for his Honour—'tis safe you may swear,
Since Butler has told us That lodges elsewhere.l
Hence, by way of a Moral, the fallacy's shewn
Of the maxim that Two Heads are better than One:
For none e'er was so scurvily dealt with before,
By the Head that he made and the Head that he wore.
Derry down, &c.
Of the maxim that Two Heads are better than One:
For none e'er was so scurvily dealt with before,
By the Head that he made and the Head that he wore.
Derry down, &c.