The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda/Volume 6/Epistles - Second Series/CLXI Nivedita
6 PLACE DES ETATS UNIS, PARIS,
25th Aug., 1900.
Your letter reached me just now. Many thanks for the kind expressions.
I gave a chance to Mrs. Bull to draw her money out of the Math; and as she
did not say anything about it, and the trust deeds were waiting here to be
executed, I got them executed duly at the British Consulate; and they are on
their way to India now.
Now I am free, as I have kept no power or authority or position for me in the work. I also have resigned the presidentship of the Ramakrishna Mission.
The Math etc., belong now to the immediate disciples of Ramakrishna except
myself. The presidentship is now Brahmananda's — next it will fall on
Premananda etc., etc., in turn.
I am so glad a whole load is off me, now I am happy. I have served
Ramakrishna through mistakes and success for 20 years now. I retire for good
and devote the rest of my life to myself.
I no longer represent anybody, nor am I responsible to anybody. As to my friends, I had a morbid sense of obligation. I have thought well and find I owe nothing to anybody; if anything, I have given my best energies, unto death almost, and received only hectoring and mischief-making and botheration. I am done with everyone here and in India.
Your letter indicates that I am jealous of your new friends. You must know once for all, I am born without jealousy, without avarice, without the desire to rule — whatever other vices I am born with.
I never directed you before; now, after I am nobody in the work, I have no
direction whatever. I only know this much: So long as you serve "Mother"
with a whole heart, She will be your guide.
I never had any jealousy about what friends you made. I never criticised my brethren for mixing up in anything. Only I do believe the Western people have the peculiarity of trying to force upon others whatever seems good to them, forgetting that what is good for you may not be good for others. As such, I am afraid you might try to force upon others whatever turn your mind might take in contact with new friends. That was the only reason I sometimes tried to stop any particular influence, and nothing else.
You are free, have your own choice, your own work. ...
Friends or foes, they are all instruments in Her hands to help us work out our own Karma, through pleasure or pain. As such "Mother" bless them all.
With all love and blessings,