The Satires, Epistles & Art of Poetry of Horace/Sat2-7

by Quintus Horatius Flaccus

SATIRE VII.

Jamdudum ausculto.

Davus.⁠Horace.

Davus.

'VE listened long, and fain a word would say,
But, as a slave, I dare not.
H.⁠ Davus, eh?
D. Yes, Davus, true and faithful, good enough,
But not too good to be of lasting stuff.
H. Well, take December's licence: I'll not balk
Our fathers' good intentions: have your talk.
D. Some men there are take pleasure in what's ill
Persistently, and do it with a will:
The greater part keep wavering to and fro,
And now all right, and now all wrong they go.

Priscus, we all remember, oft would wear
Three rings at once, then show his finger bare;
First he'd be senator, then knight, and then
In an hour's time a senator again;
Flit from a palace to a crib so mean,
A decent freedman scarce would there be seen;
Now with Athenian wits he'd make his home,
Now live with scamps and profligates at Rome;
Born in a luckless hour, when every face
Vertumnus wears was pulling a grimace.
Shark Volanerius tried to disappoint
The gout that left his fingers ne'er a joint
By hiring some one at so much per day
To shake the dicebox while he sat at play;
Consistent in his faults, so less a goose
Than your poor wretch who shifts from fast to loose.
H. For whom d'ye mean this twaddle, tell me now,
You hang-dog?
D.⁠Why, for you.
H.⁠Good varlet, how?
D. You praise the life that people lived of old,
When Rome was frugal and the age was gold,
And yet, if on a sudden forced to dwell
With men like those, you'd strenuously rebel,
Either because you don't believe at heart
That what you bawl for is the happier part,
Or that you can't act out what you avow,
But stand with one foot sticking in the slough.

At Rome you hanker for your country home;
Once in the country, there's no place like Rome.
If not asked out to supper, then you bless
The stars that let you eat your quiet mess,
Vow that engagements are mere clogs, and think
You're happy that you've no one's wine to drink.
But should Mæcenas, somewhat late, invite
His favourite bard to come by candle-light,
"Bring me the oil this instant! is there none
Hears me?" you scream, and in a trice are gone:
While Milvius and his brother beasts of prey,
With curses best not quoted, walk away.
Yet what says Milvius? "Honest truth to tell,
I turn my nose up at a kitchen's smell;
I'm guided by my stomach; call me weak,
Coward, tavern-spunger, still by book you'll speak.
But who are you to treat me to your raps?
You're just as bad as I, nay worse perhaps,
Though you've a cloak of decent words, forsooth,
To throw at pleasure o'er the ugly truth."
What if at last a greater fool you're found
Than I, the slave you bought for twenty pound?
Nay, nay, don't scare me with that threatening eye:
Unclench your fist and lay your anger by,
While I retail the lessons which of late
The porter taught me at Crispinus' gate.
You're no adulterer:—nor a thief am I,
When I see plate and wisely pass it by:
But take away the danger, in a trice
Nature unbridled plunges into vice.

What? you to be my master, who obey
More persons, nay, more things than words can say,
Whom not the prætor's wand, though four times waved,
Could make less tyrant-ridden, less enslaved?
Press home the matter further: how d'ye call
The thrall who's servant to another thrall?
An understrapper, say; the name will do;
Or fellow-servant: such am I to you:
For you, whose work I do, do others' work,
And move as dolls move when their wires we jerk.
Who then is free? The sage, who keeps in check
His baser self, who lives at his own beck,
Whom neither poverty nor dungeon drear
Nor death itself can ever put in fear,
Who can reject life's goods, resist desire,
Strong, firmly braced, and in himself entire,
A hard smooth ball that gives you ne'er a grip,
'Gainst whom when Fortune runs, she's sure to trip.
Such are the marks of freedom: look them through,
And tell me, is there one belongs to you?
Your mistress begs for money, plagues you sore,
Ducks you with water, drives you from her door,
Then calls you back: break the vile bondage; cry
"I'm free, I'm free."—Alas, you cannot. Why?
There's one within you, armed with spur and stick,
Who turns and drives you, howsoe'er you kick.
On one of Pausias' masterworks you pore,
As you were crazy: what does Davus more,

Standing agape and straining knees and eyes
At some rude sketch of fencers for a prize,
Where, drawn in charcoal or red ochre, just
As if alive, they parry and they thrust?
Davus gets called a loiterer and a scamp,
You (save the mark!) a critic of high stamp.
If hot sweet-cakes should tempt me, I am naught:
Do you say no to dainties as you ought?
Am I worse trounced than you when I obey
My stomach? true, my back is made to pay:
But when you let rich tit-bits pass your lip
That cost no trifle, do you 'scape the whip?
Indulging to excess, you loathe your meat,
And the bloat trunk betrays the gouty feet.
The lad's a rogue who goes by night to chop
A stolen flesh-brush at a fruiterer's shop:
The man who sells a farm to buy good fare,
Is there no slavery to the stomach there?
Then too you cannot spend an hour alone;
No company's more hateful than your own;
You dodge and give yourself the slip; you seek
In bed or in your cups from care to sneak:
In vain: the black dog follows you, and hangs
Close on your flying skirts with hungry fangs.
H. Where's there a stone?
D.⁠Who wants it?
H.⁠Or a pike?
D. Mere raving this, or verse-making belike.
H. Unless you're off at once, you'll join the eight
Who do their digging down at my estate.