The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 18/Letter from Thomas Sheridan to Martha Whiteway - 3

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CAVAN,
DEAR MADAM,
AUGUST 14, 1736.


YOUR account of the dean gives me much grief. I hope in God he will disappoint all his friends fears, and his enemies hopes. Nothing can be a greater affliction to me than my distance from him; and, what is full as bad, my being so near to one who has been the occasion of it. Very rich folks in my debt have made such apologies for nonpayment, that I now feel for Ireland, but much more for myself, because I was in hopes of being able to make my appearance in Dublin with a good grace namely, to pay some debts, which I can not.

My poor lady Mountcashell has a right to a visit from me; and thither I will venture for a day and a night and I will venture to the deanery for another. I could wish the best friend I had in the world (you may guess who I mean) and am sure is so still, would take a little of my advice —— You may depend upon this, it should be all for my own advantage.

Now I have done raving I must turn my pen, which is my tongue's representative, against you for a while, because I am certain it might be in your power to paint my Siberia so agreeably to the dean, as to send him hither while our good weather lasted My new kitchen is disappointed; so is my gravel walk; but what is worse, his only favourite, my rib who dreamed with great pleasure, that he would never come. I am sorry she is disappointed; for I am certain she would run away if he had come God forgive him for not doing it I will make all the haste I can out of this Hell; and I hope my friends, (I beg pardon, I mean my friend) will cast about a little for me if he does not, I will try England, where the predominant phrase is, down with the Irish. I will say no more, but tell you that you are a false mistress; and if you do not behave yourself better, I will choose another. In the mean time God bless you and my dearest friend the dean. I am, notwithstanding all your upbraidings, dear madam, your most obedient humble servant,