CANTO I.]
HUDIBRAS.
281
And mighty heaps of coin increase,
Reflected from a single piece;
To draw in fools, whose nat'ral itches 335
Incline perpetually to witches,
And keep me in continual fears,
And danger of my neck and ears;
When less delinquents have been scourg'd,
And hemp on wooden anvils forg'd,[1] 340
Which others for cravats have worn
About their necks, and took a turn.
I pitied the sad punishment
The wretched caitiff underwent,
And held my drubbing of his bones 345
Too great an honour for poltroons;
For knights are bound to feel no blows
From paltry and unequal foes,[2]
Who, when they slash and cut to pieces,
Do all with civillest addresses: 350
Their horses never give a blow,
But when they make a leg and bow.
I therefore spar'd his flesh, and prest him
About the witch, with many a question.
Quoth he, For many years he drove 355
A kind of broking-trade in love,[3]
Employ'd in all th' intrigues, and trust,
Of feeble, speculative lust;
Procurer to th' extravagancy,
And crazy ribaldry of fancy, 360
By those the devil had forsook,
As things below him, to provoke;
But b'ing a virtuoso, able
To smatter, quack, and cant, and dabble,
He held his talent most adroit, 365
For any mystical exploit,
Reflected from a single piece;
To draw in fools, whose nat'ral itches 335
Incline perpetually to witches,
And keep me in continual fears,
And danger of my neck and ears;
When less delinquents have been scourg'd,
And hemp on wooden anvils forg'd,[1] 340
Which others for cravats have worn
About their necks, and took a turn.
I pitied the sad punishment
The wretched caitiff underwent,
And held my drubbing of his bones 345
Too great an honour for poltroons;
For knights are bound to feel no blows
From paltry and unequal foes,[2]
Who, when they slash and cut to pieces,
Do all with civillest addresses: 350
Their horses never give a blow,
But when they make a leg and bow.
I therefore spar'd his flesh, and prest him
About the witch, with many a question.
Quoth he, For many years he drove 355
A kind of broking-trade in love,[3]
Employ'd in all th' intrigues, and trust,
Of feeble, speculative lust;
Procurer to th' extravagancy,
And crazy ribaldry of fancy, 360
By those the devil had forsook,
As things below him, to provoke;
But b'ing a virtuoso, able
To smatter, quack, and cant, and dabble,
He held his talent most adroit, 365
For any mystical exploit,
- ↑ Alluding to the occupation of minor criminals in Bridewell, who beat the hemp with which greater criminals were hanged.
- ↑ According to the rules of knight-errantry. See Don Quixote (book iii. ch. 1), and romances in general.
- ↑ Meaning that he was a pimp, or pander.
hibitors of these curiosities were in some danger of being sentenced to Bridewell, the pillory, or the halter.
