Page:Hudibras - Volume 2 (Butler, Nash, Bohn; 1859).djvu/28

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222
HUDIBRAS.
[PART II.

What factious they 've, and what they drive at
In public vogue, or what in private;
Witb what designs and interests
Each party manages contests. 260
He made an instrument to know
If the moon shine at full or no;
That would, as soon as e'er she shone, straight
Whether 'twere day or night demonstrate;
Tell what her d'ameter to 'n inch is,[1] 265
And prove that she's not made of green cheese.
It would demonstrate, that the Man in
The moon's a sea mediterranean;[2]
And that it is no dog nor bitch
That stands behind him at his breech, 270
But a huge Caspian sea or lake,
With arms, which men for legs mistake;
How large a gulph his tail composes.
And what a goodly bay his nose is;
How many German leagues by th' scale 275
Cape snout's from promontory tail.
He made a planetary gin,[3]
Which rats would run their own heads in,
And come on purpose to be taken,
Without th' expence of cheese or bacon; 280
With lute-strings he would counterfeit
Maggots, that crawl on dish of meat;[4]
Quote moles and spots on any place
0' th' body, by the index face;[5]

  1. The determination of the diameter of the moon was so recent an event in Butler's time, that scientific pedants rendered themselves fair butts for his satire by the use they made of this knowledge of it.
  2. It used to be supposed that the darker shadows on the moon's surface were seas; and the old astronomers gave them various names, some after a fancied analogy in their distribution to the principal seas of the eastern hemisphere of the globe; others, purely arbitrary. They are now known to be merely depressions on the surface; the closest observers having failed to detect any trace of either water or air!
  3. The horoscope, which looks like a net or trap, and in which places for the planets are duly assigned.
  4. The strings of a fiddle or lute, cut into short pieces, and strewed upon warm meat, will contract, and appear like live maggots.
  5. "Some physiognomers have conceited the head of man to be the model of the whole body; so that any mark there will have a corresponding one on some part of the body." See Lilly's Life.