Page:Hudibras - Volume 2 (Butler, Nash, Bohn; 1859).djvu/301

But those we wear about our necks,
Produce those amorous effects.
Nor is 't those threads of gold, our hair,
The periwigs you make us wear; 70
But those bright guineas in our chests,
That light the wildfire in your breasts.
These love-tricks I've been vers'd in so,
That all their sly intrigues I know,
And can unriddle, by their tones, 75
Their mystic cabals, and jargones;
Can tell what passions, by their sounds,
Pine for the beauties of my grounds;
What raptures fond and amorous,
O' th' charms and graces of my house; 80
What ecstasy and scorching flame,
Burns for my money in my name;
What from th' unnatural desire,
To beasts and cattle, takes its fire;
What tender sigh, and trickling tear, 85
Longs for a thousand pounds a year;
And languishing transports are fond
Of statute, mortgage, bill, and bond.^[1]
These are th' attracts which most men fall
Enamour'd, at first sight, withal; 90
To these th' address with serenades.
And court with balls and masquerades;
And yet, for all the yearning pain
Ye 've suffer'd for their loves in vain,
I fear they'll prove so nice and coy, 95
To have, and t' hold, and to enjoy;
That all your oaths and labour lost,
They'll ne'er turn ladies of the post.^[2]
This is not meant to disapprove
Your judgment, in your choice of love, 100
Which is so wise, the greatest part
Of mankind study 't as an art;

1. Statute is a short writing called Statute Marchant, or Statute Staple, in the nature of a bond, &c., made according to the form expressly provided in certain statutes, 5th Hen. IV. c. 12, and others.
2. That is, will never swear for you, or vow to take you for a husband.