They Knew What They Wanted/Act 2
THE SECOND ACT
THE SECOND ACT
[The scene remains unchanged. It is late evening of the same day. The lanterns out-of-doors have been burning so long that some of them have already guttered out. The room is lighted by two oil lamps.
Tony lies groaning faintly on a cot, his legs encased in a plaster cast, his eternal wine bottle by his side. The Doctor sits beside him.
Outside, the festa is in full swing. A desperate Italian tenor is singing “La Donna è Mobile” from “Rigoletto” as the curtain rises. His tones ring frantically out.
A short pause follows the song. The hiss of a sky rocket is audible. The light from the rocket flares through the windows and a tong “Ah” rises from the crowd out-of-doors.]
Tony
Fireworks!
The Doctor
Lie quiet.
Tony
Someone verra sick in bed. Poveretto! Poveretto! Tony miss festa.
[Gay voices outside call to children and children answer. The Doctor rises impatiently and goes to the door. Tony turns his head ever so slightly.]
Eh, Doc! W’ere you go?
The Doctor
It’s high time those coyotes went home.
[Applause rings from the crowd. The tenor is again vigorously repeating the last phrase and cadenza of “La Donna è Mobile.”]
Tony
Dat fella is no coyot’! He is music artiste.
The Doctor
It’s a marvel to me the man has any lungs left. He’s been howling for five hours.
Tony
You don’ ondrastan’ such music. Come è bella! Ees “Rigoletto!”
The Doctor
Look here now, Tony! I let you out of the hospital to get married.
Tony
You bet your life! You think any goddam doc is stoppin’ me from gettin’ married?
The Doctor
I’m talking medicine, not love.
Tony
You talkin’ too goddam much. You been spoil evrathing.
The Doctor
Now, be reasonable, Tony. I let them bring you in here where you could see your friends.
Tony
An’ den you mak’ all my friends go outside.
The Doctor
You’re a sick man.
Tony
Ahi! Tony is verra sick . . . verra sick!
The Doctor
Enough’s enough. Why, half of what you have been through to-day would have killed a white man! You wops are crazy.
Tony
I don’ let nobody stop no festa in my house. You go outside an’ have a good time.
The Doctor
I don’t sing and I don’t dance and I don’t talk Italian and I don’t drink.
Tony
I’m surprise’ how much you don’ know, Dec. [He laughs. The jar is painful. He groans. The Doctor comes over to his bedside.] Were is my Amy?
The Doctor
She’s all right. Keep quiet.
Tony
You goin’ look for my Amy, Doc? You goin’ see if she is havin’ fine time?
[Mandolins, a guitar, and an accordion strike up a sentimental waltz outside.]
The Doctor
If you’ll be quiet. [Humouring him, he goes to the door.] I can see her from here and she’s having a splendid time. Does that satisfy you?
Tony
Now evrabody goin’ for dance!
[A brief silence filled by the dance music to which Tony, the incorrigible, beats time. Then Joe and Ah Gee come along the porch pushing a wheelbarrow, a little flurry of the crowd in their wake. The Doctor shoos out the crowd. Joe and Ah Gee come in.]
Joe
How you makin’ out, Tony?
Tony
Verra sick, Joe. Is festa goin’ good?
Joe
Festa’s goin’ fine, Tony. Me and Ah Gee’s after more vino.
Tony
Da’s good! Da’s good!
Joe
Sure it’s good. But it’s a wonder everybody ain’t drownded already.
Tony
Italian fellas don’ get drownded in vino. Is my Amy havin’ good fun, Joe?
Joe
Sure, she is! She’s playin’ with the kids.
Tony
Ah! . . . You go in da cellar with Ah Gee, Joe, and bring back playnta vino. Den you come back here and mak’ little talk with Tony.
Joe
That’s the idea. . . .
[He goes into the cellar, followed by Ah Gee.]
The Doctor
[In the door, a fractious eye on the festa]: Those mothers ought to be reported for keeping youngsters up this time of night.
[A pause filled with voices and laughter.]
Tony
[Crescendo]: Doc! Doc! Doc! [The Doctor turns.] You think I am well next week, Doc?
The Doctor
I sincerely hope, Tony, that you may be well in six months.
Tony
Six month’?
The Doctor
You don’t seem to realize what a bad smash you had. [As he sits down to his professional manner:] Both tibia and fibula are fractured in the right leg. The femur is crushed in the left, and the ischium damaged as well. Now, if no systemic complications develop . . .
Tony
Oh, my God!
The Doctor
. . . six months . . .
Tony
[Crescendo again]: Six month’! Six month’! Six month’!
The Doctor
You won’t make it any shorter by exciting yourself.
Tony
Da’s right, Doc. Ees no good get excit’. I ondrastan’. But six month’ . . . [A pause.] Doc, I’m goin’ ask you som’thing an’ you goin’ tell me just da truth, eh?
The Doctor
I know what’s on your mind, Tony. If you keep quiet and take care of yourself, you’ll have all the kids you want.
Tony
How many?
The Doctor
Ten, anyway!
Tony
Three is playnta.
[The music is loud again as Joe and Ah Gee come back from the cellar with the new barrel of wine. They toad it on the wheelbarrow and Ah Gee takes it off to the thirsty populace. Joe remains behind.]
The Doctor
In the meanwhile Amy’s going to have her hands full, taking care of you.
Tony
[Violently]: I don’ marry with no woman for mak’ her work. I don’t want my Amy do nothing but only be happy an’ fat.
Joe
There ain’t nothin’ too good for Tony. He marries a fine wife to play the piano for him an’ he’s goin’ to rent a trained nurse to take care of him.
[Ah Gee is greeted with shouts of “Vino! Vino!” from the men and “Viva Antonio” from the girls.]
Tony
You bet your life!
The Doctor
Renting trained nurses is expensive, Tony.
Tony
I got playnta money.
[The concertina and the mandolin begin playing the chorus of “Funiculi, Funicula!” The music is continued throughout the following scene.]
Joe
[Cigarette business]: You old son of a gun! Give us a light, doc.
The Doctor
Not in here, Joe!
[Joe takes his cigarette outside. He sits with a wave to the crowd, who answer, “Joe! Joe!”]
Tony
Is my Amy havin’ good fun, Joe?
Joe
Sure. She’s dancin’ with the postman.
Tony
Da’s good! Ees verra funny weddin’ for me, Joe, but my Amy must have good time.
The Doctor
Tony’s got it bad.
Joe
Don’t biame him. She’s some girl.
Tony
I got to talk verra secret with Joe, Doc. You go outside for talk with my Amy. You better get good acquaint’ with my Amy, Doc.
[Applause outside for the dancers.]
Joe
You could do worse, an’ that’s a fact.
The Doctor
Tony’s got to go to sleep.
[The crowd outside shouts vociferously.]
Joe
I won’t keep him up.
Tony
Just a little w’ile, Doc? Fifteen minute’?
The Doctor
Well, don’t make it any longer. I want some sleep myself. Anybody would think I haven’t a thing to do but take care of Tony.
Joe
We know you’re a busy baby, Doc.
The Doctor
Busy is right. [Very expansive.] To-morrow, now, I’ve got two confinements I’m watching and an appendicitis, all up on the St. Helena road. Then, just the other side of town, I’ve got the most beautiful tumour you could hope to see, And the sheriff’s wife! Operated her yesterday. Gallstones. Gallstones? They were cobblestones. I never saw such a case! And then, with my regular practice and my own scientific researches to keep up with things.
Tony
Corpo Dio, goddam, Doc; don’ be tellin’ me no more ’bout who is sick and w’at he’s sick for! I’m sick playnta myself, an’ I got playnta trouble here. You go outside an’ leave me for talk with Joe.
The Doctor
All right, but I won’t have any more nonsense when I come back. [He goes; to Joe on the porch:] I cannot be responsible unless the patient enjoys complete quiet, after a shock like this to his nervous system.
Joe
Has Tony got a nervous system?
The Doctor
Of course he has!
[He disappears. A shout welcomes him.]
Tony
W’at is nervous system, Joe?
Joe
It’s what makes things hurt, Tony.
Tony
I got playnta.
[Joe comes in and stands over Tony for a moment with a look of half-tender amusement on his face. Tony hums distractedly keeping time with one hand to the music of “Funiculi, Funicula.” With the end of the music he drops his hands with a sigh.]
Joe
What’s on your mind, Tony?
Tony
Oh, Joe! . . . Joe!! . . . Joe!!!
Joe
What’s the matter, Tony. Ain’t you feelin’ good?
Tony
Ees Amy! . . .
[Joe sits in the Doctor’s chair, hitching it closer to the bed.]
Joe
What do you want for a nickel? She married you, didn’t she?
Tony
I’m scare’, Joe. I’m scare’ verra bad. I love my Amy, but my Amy don’ love me.
Joe
Give her time, can’t you? She wouldn’t have married you if she wasn’t all set to go through on the level.
Tony
You think?
Joe
Hell, I know.
Tony
W’at Amy say w’en she see me dees morning?
Joe
Oh, forget it, I tell you.
Tony
I got to know, Joe, You got to tell me. She’s pretty goddam mad, eh?
Joe
Well, if she was, she got over it.
Tony
W’at I’m goin’ to do for mak’ evrathing all right, Joe? Da’s w’at I want to know.
Joe
I tell you everythin’ is all right, Tony. Oh, I ain’t sayin’ you ain’t got to keep things movin’ along easy an’ friendly an’ all. But that ain’t goin’ to be so hard. Just be good to her and take care of her. That’s what Amy needs, She’s tired, poor kid!
Tony
I’m all ready for tak’ care like hell.
Joe
From what Amy was tellin’ me this mornin’, she’s been a-havin’ a helluva hard life for a girl, an’ if she come through straight like she did, well, there ain’t no credit due nobody but just only herself, and that’s a fact.
Tony
You’re a goddam smart fella, Joe.
Joe
I dunno how smart I am, Tony, but you can’t tell me much. Not about women, you can’t. Believe me, a girl gets a lousy deal any way you look at it. [He reflects upon this for an instant before he illustrates.] Take a fella, now, a young fella like me, see? It’s goin’ to do him good to knock around an’ have his troubles an’ all. [A solemn shake of the head.] But knockin’ around just raises hell with a girl. She can’t stand it. She can’t stand it, because it ain’t in her nature to get away with the whole show like a fella can. [Tony is much impressed and signifies approval with a grunt.] If a fella wants a meal, he swipes it, don’t he? A girl can’t be swipin’ things. It ’ud make her feel bad. She’d think she was doin’ somethin’ wrong. [This surprises Tony, but he is willing to take Joe’s word for it.] Gee, I sure would hate to be a woman!
Tony
[Nodding agreement]: Nobody is wantin’ be a woman, Joe . . . But ees playnta good womans like my Amy!
Joe
Sure, there’s good ones an’ bad ones. But that ain’t exactly what I mean, Tony. What I mean is, as far as I can see, it don’t make a helluva lot of difference what a woman is: good or bad, young or old . . .
Tony
I lik’ best fat!
Joe
. . . all women is up against it, and it’s a dirty shame, too, because women ain’t so bad. They ain’t much use, maybe, but they ain’t so bad.
Tony
My Amy is goin’ have evrathing she want.
Joe
Ever heard anythin’ about this dam’ women’s rights stuff? You know. Equality of the sexes. Woman doin’ a man’s work an’ all that bunk?
Tony
Da’s crazy idea!
Joe
The idea ain’t so bad.
Tony
Ees crazy idea! Looka me! You think any woman is goin’ be doin’ my work? No, by God! I tell you, Joe, woman is best for sit in da house an’ love da husband.
Joe
The trouble with women is, there’s too goddam many of ’em. Why, I was readin’ in the paper only the other day about England havin’ three and a half women to every man.
Tony
W’at you mean?—half a womans!
Joe
I’m only tellin’ you what the paper said.
Tony
Ees crazy idea! Half a womans! I tell you, Joe . . .
Joe
I been lookin’ women over from San Diego to Seattle an’ what most of ’em is after is a home, A good safe home, whether they get any rights with it or not. You take my advice an’ make everythin’ nice an’ comfortable for Amy an’ you won’t have no trouble. Amy’s satisfied here. Don’t you kid yourself she ain’t.
[Outside the crowd is off again, the tenors leading them in “Maria Mari.”]
Tony
You’re a good boy, Joe, you’re pretty smart.
Joe
I’m just tellin’ you the truth. You’re dam’ lucky you picked a girl like Amy.
Tony
[A moment of comfort; then despair again]: Ees no good, Joe—ees no good.
Joe
Oh, for cripe’s sake, Tony!
Tony
I’m tellin’ you, Joe, ees no good. I’m the most unhappy fella in the world. W’y? Because I been verra bad sinner an’ God is goin’ get me for sure! He’s broke both my legs already an’ he’s not finish’ with me yet! God is no cheap fella, Joe. God is lookin’ out at Tony right now, and you know what he’s sayin’? He’s sayin’: “Tony, you been one goddam sonuvabitch for playin’ goddam dirty trick on Amy!” Da’s w’at God is sayin’, Joe, an’ I know verra good w’at God is goin’ do more. Just for playin’ goddam dirty trick like dat on Amy, Tony don’ never have no kids, never! W’at you think is mak’ me do such a thing, Joe?
Joe
Oh, hell, you always was crazy.
Tony
Ees no good, for such a bad fella like me gettin’ married. God is goin’ fix me playnta, all right,
Joe
I seen God let worse guys’n you get by.
Tony
You think?
Joe
If you want to square things, you better make Amy glad you done what you done.
Tony
You think? . . . Yes. . . . [Pause.] Look, Joe. . . . [He draws a plush box from under his blanket.] Ees present for Amy. You open him.
Joe
[Obeying]: Say! Them’s what I call regular earrings!
Tony
You bet your life! He’s cost four hundra dollar’!
Joe
Are them real diamonds?
Tony
[Nodding]: I guess Amy like ’em pretty good, eh?
Joe
She’ll be crazy about ’em. You’re a pretty wise old wop, Tony, ain’t you? [He hands the box back to Tony, who laughs delightedly. Joe looks at him for a moment then goes to door and calls out:] Amy!
Tony
Eh, Joe!
Joe
You’re goin’ to make the presentation right away now. That’ll settle your worries for you. . . . Amy, come here! Tony wants to see you!
Tony
You think is good time now?
Joe
I know. . . . Amy!
[Amy appears in doorway. She wears her wedding dress and veil. The dress is undeniably pretty and only wrong in one or two places. The veil has been pulled rather askew. The whole picture is at once charming and pathetic.]
Amy
What’s the idea? [Her voice is a little tired. She does not look at Joe.]
Joe
Tony wants you.
Amy
[She comes in stolidly and takes the chair farthest from Tony’s cot. She sits there stiffly.]
Well, here I am.
Tony
[Ultra-tenderly]: My Amy is tire’!
Amy
You don’t blame me, do you? I’ve had quite a day. Gee, them kids out there have been climbing all over me.
Tony
Da’s good.
Amy
Oh, I don’t mind kids if they go to bed when they ought to and know how to behave. Believe me, if I ever have any kids, they’re going to behave.
Tony
You hear dat, Joe?
Amy
I said “if.” [A silence.] I wouldn’t object.
Tony
[Amorously]: Amy . . . Come over here.
Amy
[Rising quickly]: I guess I ain’t so tired. I guess I better go back or they’ll be wondering what’s become of the blooming bride. Some bloom, huh?
[The fireworks hiss and flare again and Amy, very like a little girl, is out on the porch for the delight of seeing them. The enthusiasm of the crowd fairly rattles the windows.]
They sure do yell out there! When you get enough wops together and put enough vino in ’em, they sure can speak up! . . . I think I’ll take off my veil. [She does.] Phew! That thing don’t look like no weight at all, but it feels like a ton of bricks.
Tony
Amy, come over here.
Amy
I’m all right where I am.
Tony
Amy!
Amy
What?
Tony
You like earrings, Amy?
Amy
Earrings? I’m human, ain’t I?
Joe
That’s the idea.
Amy
[A real snarl]: I didn’t speak to you. I was addressing Tony.
Tony
Ah, you call me Tony for da first time!
Amy
Expect me to call my husband mister? That’d sound swell, wouldn’t it? Tony. Short for Antonio. Antonio and Cleopatra, huh? Can you beat it? You’ll have to call me Cleo.
Tony
I like better Amy.
Amy
There ain’t no short for Amy. It’s French and it means beloved. Beloved! Can you beat it? The boss in the spaghetti palace told me that the night he tried to give me a twelve-dollar pearl necklace. Twelve dollars! He was some sport. When he seen I couldn’t see it that way, he give it to Blanche. She was the other girl that worked there. He had a wife and three kids too. [Tony beckons again and Amy takes further refuge in conversation.] I like that name Blanche. I used to wish my name was Blanche instead of Amy. Blanche got in trouble. Poor Blanche! Gee, I was sorry for that girl!
Tony
Come over here, Amy. [He holds out the box.]
Amy
What’s that?
Tony
Ees my present for my Amy.
Amy
What you got there, Tony?
Tony
For you.
Amy
Something for me? [By this time, she has got over to the cot. She takes the box.] Honest? Well, now, if that isn’t sweet of you, Tony. [She opens it.] Oh! . . . Oh!! . . . Oh!!!
Tony
Ees for mak’ Amy happy.
Joe
They’re real! Real diamonds!
Tony
You bet your life! Four hundra dollar’.
Amy
I . . . I . . . [Tears come] Real diamonds. . . . [She sits in the Doctor’s chair and cries and cries.]
Tony
Don’ cry, Amy! Don’ cry! Ees no’ for cry, earrings! Ees for festa! Ees for marryin’ with Tony!
Amy
I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what to do!
Joe
Put ’em on. [He gets the mirror, brings it over to where Amy sits, and holds it for her while she begins to put the earrings on. Her sobs gradually subside.]
Amy
I had another pair once, so I got my ears pierced already. Ma pierced my ears herself with a needle and thread. Only these kind screw on! Say, ain’t they beautiful! My others was turquoises and gold. Real turquoises and real gold. But these here cost four hundred dollars! Oh, I never dreamed of anything so gorgeous! [She takes the mirror from Joe.]
Tony
Amy . . . Amy . . .
Amy
Can I wear ’em whenever I want?
Tony
You can wear ’em in da bed if you want!
Amy
Oh, thank you, Tony! [She is just about to kiss him.]
Joe
Now, everything’s fine!
Amy
[Furiously]: Say what’s the idea? What have you got to do with this? You’re always buttin’ in. Say . . . [Suddenly she remembers the momentous photograph which still lies on the table.] Wait a minute. [She picks it up and hands it quite violently to Joe.] Here’s your picture.
Tony
[Watching in terror]: Santa Maria!
Amy
Here! You better take it! Take it, I tell you! I don’t want it.
[Joe looks first at the photograph, then at the lady.]
Joe
I guess you ain’t far wrong, Amy. I hope there ain’t no hard feelin’s.
Amy
Why should there be any hard feelings?
Tony
Benissimo!
Joe
All right. Only I didn’t want you to think. . . .
[A long pause.]
Amy
[Very steadily]: You ain’t got much of a swelled head, have you, Mr. Joe?
[Joe’s face falls. The tension is snapped by a gesture from Tony.]
Tony
Tear him up, Joe! Tear him up!
[Joe obeys.]
Amy
Now we don’t ever have to think of that again.
Tony
Madonna! . . . Da’s verra good.
Amy
You see, that’s the only way to do. There ain’t no use of keeping things around to remind you of what you want to forget. Start in all over again new and fresh. That’s my way. Burn up everything you want to put behind you. No reminders and no souvenirs. I been doing that regular about once a month ever since I was a kid. No memories for me. No hard feelings, It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken. I guess, if I keep at it long enough, I may get somewhere, some day. [She turns and deliberately kisses Tony on the brow.]
Joe
[To Tony]: Will that hold you? I guess you don’t need to worry no more after that. I guess that fixes your troubles for good. I guess you better admit I was pretty near right.
Tony
Now you know for w’y I been wantin’ you go away, Joe. Dat goddam picture photograph! But evrathing is fix’ now. Evrathing is fine. You don’ need go away now, Joe.
Joe
You don’t need me now. I guess I can migrate now. You got Amy to take care of you.
Tony
No! No! I need you here for tak’ care of my vineyard. I don’ let you go away now. Amy don’ let you go away now.
Amy
Is he thinking of going away, Tony?
Tony
He don’ go now, Dio mio! Ees no good Joe goin’ away and leavin’ Tony sick in da bed with nobody for runnin’ vineyard!
Joe
You’ll get somebody.
Amy
When’s he going?
Tony
He say to-morrow. You don’ let him go, Amy?
Amy
I got nothing to say about it.
Tony
You hear dat, Joe. Amy is askin’ you for stay here.
Amy
[Scorn]: Yes, I am!
Joe
I got to go, Tony. I just plain got to go,
Amy
If he won’t stay for you, Tony, he won’t stay for me. It ain’t the place of a lady to be coaxing him, anyhow. . . . [She again turns malevolent attention upon Joe.] Where you headed for?
Joe
The next place.
Amy
What’s the idea?
Joe
I just got to be on my way, an’ that’s all there is to it.
Tony
Ees all dose goddam Wobblies, Amy. You tell him stay here, w’ile Tony is so sick in da bed like dees. You don’ go to-morrow, Joe. You and me is talkin’ more by-an’-by, in da mornin’.
Joe
Oh, what’s the use? I’m goin’, I tell you.
Amy
[Smiling darkly]: It must be pretty swell, being free and independent and beating it around the country just however you feel like, sleeping any place the notion hits you, no ties, work a day and bum a week, here and there, you and the—what do you call ’em? Wobblies? Huh! I never could see much in it myself. Calling in at farmhouses for a plate of cold stew and a slab of last Sunday’s pie. Down in the Santa Clara we used to keep a dog for those boys. I guess it’s a fine life if you like it. Only I never had much use for hoboes myself.
Tony
Joe ain’ no hobo, Amy!
Amy
Ain’t he?
Joe
[Completely discomfited]: I guess I’ll say good-night.
Father McKee
[Furiously shouting off stage]: You got uo business callin’ it sacramental, because it ain’got no sanction from the Church!
[Tony looks at the pair of them in unbelieving horror. Joe starts to go. Amy smiles triumphantly. Then the situation is saved by a tumult of voices and the porch is suddenly packed with the guests of the festa: men, women, and children, old and young, fat and lean. They follow The Doctor and Father McKee, who are engaged in a furious argument.]
The Doctor
Is the Church opposed to the law or is it not?
Father McKee
The Church is opposed to interfering with the divine gifts of Providence.
The Doctor
[As he enters]: It’s the greatest reform since the abolition of slavery.
Father McKee
[As he enters]: “The ruler of the feast calleth the bridegroom and sayeth unto him: ‘Every man setteth on first the good wine.’”
The Doctor
Oh, hell!
Father McKee
You’re a godless heretic, young man, or you wouldn’t be talkin’ such blasphemy! I ain’t got no sympathy with drunkenness, but there’s plenty of worse things. How about chamberin’? Ain’t chamberin’ a worse sin than drunkenness? You think you can put a stop to drunkenness by pullin’ up all the grapes, I suppose you think you can put a stop to chamberin’ by pulling up all the women!
Joe
There’s an argument for you, Doc.
The Doctor
Alcohol is a poison to the entire alimentary system whether you make it in a still or in a wine barrel. It’s poison, and poison’s no em for any man. As for the Church . . .
Father McKee
[Beside himself]: It ain’t poison if you don’t get drunk on it, an’ you don’t get drunk if you’re a good Cath’lic!
The Doctor
I suppose that drunkenness is confined to such scientific heretics as myself?
Amy
You certainly was lappin’ it up outside, Doc.
Tony
Don’ fight!
Father McKee
You’ll have to pardon me, Tony, but when I hear these heretics gettin’ full on bootleg liquor and callin’ it sacramental!
[The rest of the argument is drowned in the pandemonium of the crowd. At first The Doctor tries to keep them out.]
The Guests
Buona notte! Buon riposo! Evviva Antonio! Tanti auguri! Felice notte! Tante grazie!
Joe
Festa’s over.
The Guests
Come sta Antonio? Come va? Voglio veder la padrona! Grazie, Antonio! Buona notte! Tanti auguri! A rivederci!
The Doctor
[To Joe]: Tell them to cut the row!
The Guests
Grazie, Antonio! Mille grazie, Antonio! Buona notte, Antonio! Tanti auguri! A rivederci!
The Doctor
Keep those wops out of here! There’s been enough noise already with this bigoted old soak.
Father McKee
You heretical, blasphemin’ . . .
Tony
Padre, Madonna mia, don’ fight no more! [To the crowd]: Eh!
The Doctor
[Still holding the crowd back in the doorway]: No, you can’t come in here!
The Guests
Si, si, dottore! Si, si, dottore! Prego, dottore!
The Doctor
No! Tony’s too sick!
Tony
Tak’ a pinch-a snuff, Doc, an’ sit down.
[The guests surge in as Tony calls to them]:
Vieni! Vieni qui! Venite tutti! Venite tutti!
The Guests
Come va? Sta bene? Sta meglio, Antonio? Ha tanto sofferto, poveretto! Poveretto!
Tony
[Picking out a small boy]: Ecco il mio Giovannino! Ah, com’ è grande e bello e forte! Quanto pesa?
Giovannino’s Mother
Ah, si, è grande, non è vero? Pesa sessanta cinque libbre.
Tony
Sessanta cinque! [To Amy]: Amy, looka him! He weigh’ sixty-five pound’, an’ he’s only . . . [To the mother]: Quant’ anni?
Giovannino’s Mother
Soltanto nove.
Tony
He’s only nine year’ old an’ he weigh sixty-five pound’!
Another Mother
Antonio, ecco la mia.
[A little girl runs to throw her arms around Tony’s neck and kiss him. Exclamations of delight.]
Tony
[To the mother]: Ah! Come si chiama?
The Second Mother
Maria Maddalena Rosina Vittoria Emanuela.
Tony
Maria Maddalena Rosina Vit——— [To Amy]: Looka Maria Maddalena! Ah, Maria Maddalena is goin’ grow up an’ be a fine, beautiful lady like my Amy.
Giovannino’s Mother
E il mio Giovannino! [To Maria’s Mother]: Santa Madonna! Ella non è più bella che il mio Giovannino!
Maria’s Mother
[Furious]: Si, è più bella! È molto più bella che un ragazzone come questo.
Giovannino’s Mother
Non è ragazzone, senti!
Maria’s Mother
Si! Ma, la mia carina.
The Men
[Hilariously]: Giovannino! Giovannino!
The Women
[At the same time]: Maria Maddalena! Maria Maddalena!
The Doctor
Come on, now, get out! We’ve had enough of this!
Angelo and Giorgio
[Facing the howling mob]: Basta! Basta! Via! Via! Fuori! Avanti! Al diavolo!
[Uproar and retreat.]
Amy
[On the porch, she stops them.] No, wait a minute! I want to tell ’em all good-night. Good-night! Good-night! Thank you. I’ve had the very best wedding that ever was and I’m the happiest girl in the world because you’ve been so good to me. Come hack to-morrow and see Tony and tell him all the news. Good night and God bless you.
Voices
Siamo molto contenti! Com’ è gentile! Com’ è bella! Com’ è simpatica! Grazie tanto, Amy!
Joe
They say thank you and God bless yuu. . . . Beat it, now. Buona notte! Run along. Come back to-morrow.
[As they go down the hill, tenor, concertina, and chorus strike into song.]
Tony
Oh, Amy, I w’isper in your ear, Amy. You ain’ goin’ be mad with Tony for bein’ so crazy-wild with love? You come in da house like da spring come in da winter. You come in da house like da pink flower dat sit on da window sill. W’en you come da whole world is like da inside da wine cup. You ondrastan’, Amy? I canno’ help talkin’ dees way. I got for tell you, Amy, an’ I ain’ got no English language for tell you. My Amy is so good, so prett’! My Amy. . . . [He fairly breaks down. Amy pats his hand.]
Joe
[To Father McKee]: Look at the poor wop. [He is just going.]
The Doctor
Don’t go, Joe. I want a hand with Tony.
Father McKee
Listen. . . . [He holds up his hand for them to attend to the music. He pours wine into a cup.] Here’s to the bridal couple!
Joe
[Same business]: Doc?
The Doctor
No, thanks.
Amy
Oh, Doctor!
Tony
Doc, you no drink Tony’s health?
The Doctor
Oh, all right! [He drinks with the others.] Nasty stuff. [He drains his glass. They laugh, all of them.] Off to bed with you now, Tony!
Tony
My leg is hurt too much. I canno’ sleep.
The Doctor
I’ve got something that’ll make you sleep. [He mixes a powder in water and presents it to Tony for consumption.]
Tony
Jes’ Chris’! I canno’ drink water, Doc! [With the Doctor’s consent he adds wine to the draught.]
The Doctor
That’s right. . . . Drink up. . . . .
[The potion is downed.]
Tony
Amy, you lookin’ sad!
Joe
Do you blame her? She’s had some day.
[A pat on her shoulder. She shrinks angrily.]
Amy
I ain’t sad. . . . It was a swell wedding and everybody had a swell time. Hear that? They’re still singing. Ain’t it pretty? And I don’t want to hear no more of what the Doc was telling me outside about bringing a trained nurse up here from Napa, I’m all the nurse Tony needs, and don’t nobody be afraid of my working, because there’s nothing I like better. And when Tony’s good and strong and don’t have to be in bed all the time, we’ll have Giorgio and Angelo carry him out in the sun and I’ll sit beside him and read the paper out loud and we’ll look at the view and feel that nice wind and we’ll just enjoy ourselves. And the doc’ll come up and see us. And the Padre, too, if they can keep from fighting. And if Joe goes away—why—he goes away, that’s all. Don’t nobody fret about little Amy. She’s going to be all right.
[The Doctor and the Priest exchange approving glances.]
Father McKee
Amy, you’re a credit to the parish.
The Doctor
[At the head of the cot]: Joe, take that end!
Tony
[Still spellbound]: My Amy. . . .
Amy
Yes, Tony?
Tony
I’m sleepy.
The Doctor
[As Joe and he lift the cot]: Not too high.
Tony
[Groaning, he can still reach to take his bottle along]: Wait!
Joe
Steady! You hold the door, Padre.
The Doctor
Easy now! Not too fast.
Amy
Watch out for his hand!
The Doctor
Take shorter steps, Joe. Every man ought to be taught how to carry a stretcher. Why, when I was in France . . . [He backs through the door.] Lower your end, Joe! You’ll give him apoplexy.
Tony
Oh! . . .
Joe
I got him. . . .
[He follows through the door with the foot of the cot. Another groan from Tony. Amy takes a step toward door.]
Father McKee
Better give ’em a minute.
[He goes into the bedroom. Amy is left alone. She stands quite still for a moment; then, giddily, drops into a chair. Father McKee returns.]
Father McKee
You’re a fine brave girl.
Amy
Thanks.
Father McKee
We have our trials, all of us.
Amy
Sure, I know that.
Father McKee
If ever you need a word of comfort, call on me, my daughter.
Amy
Thanks.
Father McKee
You may not be a Cath’lic, but I’ll do my best by you. [Amy smiles wanly.] I had my doubts of this here marriage, but God knows who’s meant for who in this world, He ain’t done a bad turn by either you or Tony.
Amy
I got no kick.
[The Doctor enters, quietly closing the bedroom door after him.]
Father McKee
Be patient with him. He’s old enough to be your father, and no man ain’t got no business marryin’ at his age, but he’s a good fella.
Amy
I guess I better go in there now.
The Doctor
[Wiping his hands medically on his spotless handkerchief]: He’s asleep. I’ve never known the like. Never in all my years of practice. It’s a case that ought to be written up for the whole, entire medical profession. Both legs broken in the morning. Tibia, fibula, femur, and ischium. X-rayed and set inside of an hour after the accident. Patient married at noon and survives ten hours of whooping Dago celebration with no apparent ill effects.
Amy
[Grim]: Yeah! What do you want me to do, Doctor?
The Doctor
Let me send up a nurse in the morning.
Amy
No.
The Doctor
A man in a cast’s a handful. It’s going to be a long siege.
Amy
I can manage. [Suddenly desperate:] God: I got to have something to do!
The Doctor
Well. . . . [He shrugs his shoulders.] If he wakes up to-night, give him another one of those powders in a little wine. Wine won’t harm the drug and water might kill the patient. Eh, Padre?
Amy
Is that all, Doctor?
The Doctor
That’s all. I’ll come up early in the morning.
Amy
Thanks.
The Doctor
Sure about the nurse? [She nods.] You take it pretty calmly.
Amy
Ain’t much else I can do, is there?
The Doctor
Good-night. Joe’s fixing you up a bed. He’ll be here if you want him.
Father McKee
[Going with the Doctor]: I ain’t kissed the bride.
The Doctor
Come on!
[He pushes Father McKee in front of him and they go off. Their voices die away.
Amy goes to the table and mechanically removes her earrings. Ah Gee enters by the outer door with a tray of glasses. Joe enters from the bedroom, closing the door carefully after him.]
Joe
You turn in, Ah Gee. I’m going to sleep in here.
[Ah Gee goes to his kitchen. Joe watches Amy with the same puzzled frown he has worn since she first turned upon him.]
Amy . . . [She stiffens.] I got you fixed up in Tony’s big bed. I’m goin’ to sleep in here in case you want any help.
Amy
All right.
Joe
Well, good-night. [He goes about making himself comfortable for the night.]
Amy
Good-night, Joe.
Joe
Keep a stiff upper lip. Everything’s going to turn out O. K. Good-night.
Amy
You certainly do think you’re God Almighty, don’t you?
Joe
I don’t get you.
Amy
Oh, well, let it go. I guess I don’t feel so good.
Joe
[Still busy with his bed]: Maybe it’s the vino. It don’t agree with some folks.
[A slight pause.]
Amy
I guess I’m just nervous.
Joe
I’d be nervous myself if I’d just been married.
Amy
Would you?
Joe
If I was a girl, I would.
Amy
Maybe that’s why I’m nervous.
Joe
Sure it is. I often think how it must be for a girl takin’ a big, important step like gettin’ married. Everything new an’ diff’rent an’ all that.
Amy
Yeah.
Joe
But I wouldn’t let it worry me if I was you.
Amy
I won’t, Mister Joe. [She takes up one of the lamps.]
Joe
That’s the idea, Good-night.
Amy
Good-night. [She turns and looks desperately at him.]
Joe
Say, look here, Amy . . .
Amy
I don’t remember of giving you leave to use my Christian name.
Joe
Excuse me . . . only . . . there’s something I just got to say to you before I go away. Because I am going. I’m going in the morning just as soon as Tony wakes up so’s I can tell him good-by. But there’s something I just got to ask you.
Amy
What is it?
Joe
You like Tony all right, don’t you?
Amy
I married him, didn’t I? And I let him give me jewelry, too, didn’t I? A nice, self-respecting girl don’t accept jewelry from a man she don’t like. Not real jewelry.
Joe
I know that . . . only . . . it ain’t just what I mean. Because, Tony—oh, he’s a nut an’ a wop an’ all that, but he’s just the best old fella I ever knew. Regular salt of the earth, Tony is. I wouldn’t like to see Tony in trouble or unhappy or gettin’ his feelings hurt or anything in that line. . . .
Amy
[Dangerously]: Oh, wouldn’t you?
Joe
No. An’ it’s all up to you now. . . . An’ well, you see what a fine old fella he is, don’t you?
Amy
I ain’t been complaining about him that I remember. When I start in complaining there’ll be plenty of time then for outsiders to butt in and make remarks.
Joe
Don’t get sore.
Amy
[Fury again]: Who’s sore? Say, listen to me. I know what I’m about, see? I married for a home, see? Well, I got a home, ain’t I? I wanted to get away from working in the city. Well, I got away, didn’t I? I’m in the country, ain’t I? And I ain’t working so very hard, either, that I can notice. Oh, I know what’s expected of me and I ain’t going to lay down on my job. Don’t you fret. You be on your way, and mind your own business.
Joe
Oh, all right!
Amy
I got all I bargained for and then some. I’m fixed. I’m satisfied. I didn’t come up here . . . like I did . . . looking for love . . . or . . . or anything like that.
Joe
All I got to say is it’s a good thing you got so dam’ much sense.
Amy
I’ll thank you not to swear about me, too. . . .
Joe
You got me wrong, Amy. I apologize. Maybe I was only seein’ Tony’s side of the question. Some girls would have been sorer’n you was over what old Tony done to get you here. But you’re a real sport, that’s what you are. You’re a great girl an’ I’m all for you. [He emphasizes his approval with another patronizing pat on her shoulder.]
Amy
Oh, for God’s sake, leave me alone, can’t you?
Joe
[Who can grow angry himself]: Sure, I can! Good-night!
Amy
Good-night! [She stands quite still, so does he. Far, far away the irrepressible tenor resumes “Maria Mari.”]
Joe
I’m sleeping in here in case . . .
Amy
There won’t be any need of your putting yourself out.
Joe
How do you know but what Tony . . .
Amy
I can take care of Tony and the further off you keep yourself the better I’ll be pleased. [Their eyes blaze.]
Joe
Well, if you feel that way, I’ll go back to my own shack. [He grabs his coat and makes for the door.] That wop’ll be singing all night. [He is out on the porch.]
Amy
Joe!
Joe
What?
[He returns.]
Amy
Would you mind waiting just a minute? There’s something I got to ask you.
Joe
Shoot. . . .
Amy
You got to tell me the truth this time. You just got to tell me the truth. . . . You really and honestly didn’t know nothing about his sending me that photo of you instead of his own, did you? You didn’t know nothing at all about that?
Joe
Honest to God, I didn’t. . . . Honest to God. . . .
Amy
On your sacred word of honour?
Joe
Honest.
Amy
I’m glad. And I want to apologize to you for what I said just now . . . and for that other thing I said about your being a common hobo and all. . . . I’m sorry, Joe. Will you forgive me?
Joe
Oh, that’s all right.
Amy
I wouldn’t want to have you go away to-morrow thinking what a mean character I got.
Joe
Nothing like that.
Amy
You mean it?
Joe
Shake. [They shake hands, standing in the doorway.] You’re cryin’! . . . What’s the matter, kid?
Amy
Oh, I don’t know. . . . Nothing. . . . I’m all right.
Joe
Come on! Don’t get upset. Just make the best of things.
Amy
It ain’t that.
Joe
Well, just make the best of things, anyway.
Amy
I’m trying to! I’m trying to!
Joe
[His hands on her shoulders]: You’re married to a good man. I know the weddin’ was kind of funny with Tony all smashed up an’ all. But you just hold on a while an’ everythin’ll be O. K. You’ll see!
Amy
I bet all those people are laughing at me.
Joe
No, they ain’t.
Amy
I bet you’re laughing at me.
Joe
I ain’t, Amy. I’m sorry. . . .
Amy
[Moving back from him]: Leave me alone, can’t you?
Joe
[His voice very low]: Say, you’re all right, Amy. . . . You’re plumb all right.
Amy
I always was all right till I come up here. Now I wish I was dead! I wish I was dead!
Joe
Don’ talk that way. You’re all right. . . .
[Clumsily, he takes her arm. She stumbles. He catches her. There is a moment of silence broken only by their deep breathing as the physical being of one is communicated to the physical being of the other. Suddenly and irresistibly he clutches her to his breast and kisses her, She struggles a moment, then abandons herself.]
Tony
[Calling out in the bedroom]: Amy!
[She breaks loose, sobbing hysterically.]
Joe
[A whisper]: Jesus!
[She stifles a little cry and turns for the bedroom door.]
No, you don’t. . . . [He catches her.]
Amy
[Struggling]: Let me go!
Tony
Amy!
[She breaks free, terrified, and runs out of the house. Joe stands listening a moment, then runs after her as the curtain fails.]