A Biographical Dictionary of the Celebrated Women of Every Age and Country/Monica
MONICA, the Mother of Augustine, Bishop of Hippo; lived towards the latter End of the 4th Century.
She had been brought up in a christian family; but was not so much indebted to her mother's cares as to that of a decrepid old servant of the house, who had nursed her father, and who superintended the education of her master's daughters. She never suffered them to drink even water, except at meals, telling them, that if ever they became mistresses, the custom of drinking would remain; but they would then indulge it in wine, not water. Yet Monica, notwithstanding the care of this provident governess, when young, had learned by degrees to drink wine, having been sent to draw it for the use of the family; but one of the maids of the house, being in a passion, malignantly called her drunkard; and she, struck with shame that such a reproach should be addressed to her, gave up the practice for ever.
She was married to Patricius, a pagan, of Tagasta, in Numidia, and endeavoured by her amiable manners to win him to her faith, patiently bearing with his passionate temper, and hoping that as his heart was benevolent he would one day believe, and be a curb to himself. She bore with him when angry in silence; and when she saw him cool, would meekly expostulate. Many matrons in her company complained of the harsh treament they received from their husbands, whose tempers were yet milder than that of Patricius; and, when they expressed their wonder that they never heard of their quarrels, she informed them of her plan, and counselled them to follow it; which some did, and were thankful to her for its success. Her mother-in-law, from unkindness and prejudice, was entirely won over by her obsequiousness; and she was never known to repeat any of the fierce things, which she heard from people at variance with each other, conscientiously exact in saying nothing but what might tend to heal and reconcile.
Though so implicitly obedient to her husband, she prevailed upon him to let her son be brought up a christian; but though he made great progress in profane learning, and seems to have had some idea of the benefits of a holy life at times, he was led away into sin, even so as to glory in it; and his father, who cared little for those things, and only wished him to be learned and eloquent, was satisfied; but Monica grieved to see the increasing strength of his passions, wept and prayed for him, that he might not be wholly lost. Having been led away by the errors of the Manichees, and still continuing to sin without fear, she for nine years attempted to turn him from his evil ways, not only by remonstrances, but by fervent prayers to the Almighty. Her husband, after embracing the Christian faith, had left her a widow, and her darling son was now the only object of her solicitude.
She entreated a bishop to reason him out of his errors, and he was a person not backward to attempt this, when he found a docile subject. "But your son," said he, "is too much elated at present, and carried away with the pleasing novelty of his error, to regard any arguments, as appears by the pleasure he takes in puzzling many ignorant persons with his captious questions. Let him alone; only continue praying to the Lord for him; he will in the course of his study, discover his error." All this did not satisfy the anxious parent; with floods of tears she persisted in her request. When at last he, a little out of temper, on account of her importunity, said, "Be gone, good woman; it is not possible a child of such tears should perish."
For years did this amiable mother bear up against the sorrows she felt so severely, attentive to her own duties as a mother and a christian, and look forward with hope that this son, whom she nursed with so much care in illness would at last become sensible of his eternal welfare, and she was not disappointed; he became a christian after he was 30 years old, and not a nominal one. His excellent understanding, and deep sense of his former errors, taught him at once to be humble, rational and pious.
She had followed him to Rome, on hearing of his illness, and remained there with him afterwards. They were discoursing one evening alone, at a window, facing the east, in a house at the south of the Tiber, on holy subjects. The world appeared of no value to either. She said, "Son, what I should do here and why I am here, I know not; the hope of this life being quite spent. One thing only, your conversion, was an object for which I wished to live. My God has given me this in a large measure. What do I here?" Scarce five days after, she fell into a fever. Some one lamented, that she was likely to die in a foreign land. She had formerly been anxious about it. "Nothing," said she, "is far from God: and I do not fear, that he should not know where to find me at the resurrection." She died on the 9th day of her illness, in the 56th year of her age; having performed the duties of a wife and mother with exemplary mildness, patience and wisdom.