Five Plays

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Five Plays  (1914) 
by Lord Dunsany


Five Plays

By Lord Dunsany

The Gods of the Mountain[edit]

Persons

Beggars
Agmar
Slag
Ulf
Oogno
Thahn
Mlan
A Thief
Citizens
Oorander
Illanaun
Akmos
The Dromedary Men
Citizens, etc.
The Others

Scene

The East


The First Act[edit]

{Outside a city wall. Three beggars are seated upon the ground.}

Oogno 
These days are bad for beggary.
Thahn 
They are bad.
Ulf
{an older beggar but not gray} Some evil has befallen the rich ones of this city. They take no joy any longer in benevolence, but are become sour and miserly at heart. Alas for them! I sometimes sigh for them when I think of this.
Oogno 
Alas for them! A miserly heart must be a sore affliction.
Thahn 
A sore affliction indeed, and bad for our calling.
Oogno
{reflectively} They have been thus for many months. What thing has befallen them?
Thahn 
Some evil thing.
Ulf 
There has been a comet come near to the earth of late and the earth has been parched and sultry so that the gods are drowsy and all those things that are divine in man, such as benevolence, drunkenness, extravagance, and song, have faded and died and have not been replenished by the gods.
Oogno 
It has indeed been sultry.
Thahn 
I have seen the comet o' nights.
Ulf 
The gods are drowsy.
Oogno 
If they awake not soon and make this city worthy again of our order I for one shall forsake the calling and buy a shop and sit at ease in the shade and barter for gain.
Thahn 
You will keep a shop?

{Enter Agmar and Slag. Agmar, though poorly dressed, is tall, imperious, and older than Ulf. Slag follows behind him.}

Agmar 
Is this a beggar who speaks?
Oogno 
Yes, master, a poor beggar.
Agmar 
How long has the calling of beggary existed?
Oogno 
Since the building of the first city, master.
Agmar 
And when has a beggar ever followed a trade? When has he ever haggled and bartered and sat in a shop?
Oogno 
Why, he has never done so.
Agmar 
Are you he that shall be first to forsake the calling?
Oogno 
Times are bad for the calling here.
Thahn 
They are bad.
Agmar 
So you would forsake the calling?
Oogno 
The city is unworthy of our calling. The gods are drowsy and all that is divine in man is dead. {To third beggar} Are not the gods drowsy?
Ulf 
They are drowsy in their mountains away at Marma. The seven green idols are drowsy. Who is this that rebukes us?
Thahn 
Are you some great merchant, master? Perhaps you will help a poor man that is starving.
Slag 
My master a merchant! No, no. He is no merchant. My master is no merchant.
Oogno 
I perceive that he is some lord in disguise. The gods have woken and sent him to save us.
Slag 
No, no. You do not know my master. You do not know him.
Thahn 
Is he the Soldan's self that has come to rebuke us?
Agmar 
I am a beggar, and an old beggar.
Slag
{with great pride} There is none like my master. No traveller has met with cunning like to his, not even those that come from AEthiopia.
Ulf 
We make you welcome to our town, upon which an evil has fallen, the days being bad for beggary.
Agmar 
Let none who has known the mystery of roads or has felt the wind arising new in the morning, or who has called forth out of the souls of men divine benevolence, ever speak any more of any trade or of the miserable gains of shops and the trading men.
Oogno 
I but spoke hastily, the times being bad.
Agmar 
I will put right the times.
Slag 
There is nothing that my master cannot do.
Agmar
{to Slag} Be silent and attend to me. I do not know this city. I have travelled from far, having somewhat exhausted the city of Ackara.
Slag 
My master was three times knocked down and injured by carriages there, once he was killed and seven times he was beaten and robbed, and every time he was generously compensated. He had nine diseases, many of them mortal --
Agmar 
Be silent, Slag. -- Have you any thieves among the calling here?
Ulf 
We have a few that we call thieves here, master, but they would scarcely seem thieves to you. They are not good thieves.
Agmar 
I shall need the best thief you have.

{Enter two citizens richly clad, Illanaun and Oorander.}

Illanaun 
Therefore we will send galleons to Ardaspes.
Oorander 
Right to Ardaspes through the silver gates.

{Agmar transfers the thick handle of his long staff to his left armpit, he droops on to it and it supports his weight; he is upright no longer. His right arm hangs limp and useless. He hobbles up to the citizens imploring alms.}

Illanaun 
I am sorry. I cannot help you. There have been too many beggars here and we must decline alms for the good of the town.
Agmar
{sitting down and weeping} I have come from far.

{Illanaun presently returns and gives Agmar a coin. Exit Illanaun. Agmar, erect again, walks back to the others.}

Agmar 
We shall need fine raiment; let the thief start at once. Let it rather be green raiment.
Beggar 
I will go and fetch the thief. {Exit}
Ulf 
We will dress ourselves as lords and impose upon the city.
Oogno 
Yes, yes; we will say we are ambassadors from a far land.
Ulf 
And there will be good eating.
Slag
{in an undertone to Ulf} But you do not know my master. Now that you have suggested that we go as lords, he will make a better suggestion. He will suggest that we should go as kings.
Ulf 
Beggars as kings!
Slag 
Ay. You do not know my master.
Ulf
{to Agmar} What do you bid us do?
Agmar 
You shall first come by the fine raiment in the manner I have mentioned.
Ulf 
And what then, master?
Agmar 
Why, we shall go as gods.
Beggars 
As gods!
Agmar 
As gods. Know you the land through which I have lately come in my wanderings? Marma, where the gods are carved from green stone in the mountains. They sit all seven of them against the hills. They sit there motionless and travellers worship them.
Ulf 
Yes, yes, we know those gods. They are much reverenced here, but they are drowsy and send us nothing beautiful.
Agmar 
They are of green jade. They sit cross-legged with their right elbows resting on their left hands, the right forefinger pointed upward. We will come into the city disguised, from the direction of Marma, and we will claim to be these gods. We must be seven as they are. And when we sit we must sit cross-legged as they do, with the right hand uplifted.
Ulf 
This is a bad city in which to fall into the hands of oppressors, for the judges lack amiability here as the merchants lack benevolence, ever since the gods forgot them.
Agmar 
In our ancient calling a man may sit at one street corner for fifty years doing the one thing, and yet a day may come when it is well for him to rise up and do another thing while the timorous man starves.
Ulf 
Also it were not well to anger the gods.
Agmar 
Is not all life a beggary to the gods? Do they not see all men always begging of them and asking alms with incense, and bells, and subtle devices?
Oogno 
Yes, all men indeed are beggars before the gods.
Agmar 
Does not the mighty Soldan often sit by the agate altar in his royal temple as we sit at a street corner or by a palace gate?
Ulf 
It is even so.
Agmar 
Then will the gods be glad when we follow the holy calling with new devices and with subtlety, as they are glad when the priests sing a new song.
Ulf 
Yet I have a fear.

{Enter two men talking.}

Agmar
{to Slag} Go you into the city before us and let there be a prophecy there which saith that the gods who are carven from green rock in the mountain shall one day arise in Marma and come here in the guise of men.
Slag 
Yes, master. Shall I make the prophecy myself? Or shall it be found in some old document?
Agmar 
Let someone have seen it once in some rare document. Let it be spoken of in the market place.
Slag 
It shall be spoken of, master.

{Slag lingers. Enter Thief and Thahn.}

Oogno 
This is our thief.
Agmar
{encouragingly} Ah, he is a quick thief.
Thief 
I could only procure you three green raiments, master. The city is not now well supplied with them; moreover, it is a very suspicious city and without shame for the baseness of its suspicions.
Slag
{to a beggar} This is not thieving.
Thief 
I could do no more, master. I have not practised thieving all my life.
Agmar 
You have got something: it may serve our purpose. How long have you been thieving?
Thief 
I first stole when I was ten.
Slag
{in horror} When he was ten!
Agmar 
We must tear them up and divide them amongst the seven. {To Thahn} Bring me another beggar.
Slag 
When my master was ten he had already to slip by night out of two cities.
Oogno
{admiringly} Out of two cities?
Slag
{nodding his head} In his native city they do not now know what became of the golden cup that stood in the Lunar Temple.
Agmar 
Yes, into seven pieces.
Ulf 
We will each wear a piece of it over our rags.
Oogno 
Yes, yes, we shall look fine.
Agmar 
That is not the way we shall disguise ourselves.
Oogno 
Not cover our rags?
Agmar 
No, no. The first who looked closely would say, "These are only beggars. They have disguised themselves."
Ulf 
What shall we do?
Agmar 
Each of the seven shall wear a piece of the green raiment underneath his rags. And peradventure here and there a little shall show through; and men shall say, "These seven have disguised themselves as beggars. But we know not what they be."
Slag 
Hear my wise master.
Oogno
{in admiration} He is a beggar.
Ulf 
He is an old beggar.


{Curtain}


The Second Act[edit]

{The Metropolitan Hall of the city of Kongros. Citizens, etc. Enter the seven beggars with green silk under their rags.}

Oorander 
Who are you and whence come you?
Agmar 
Who may say what we are or whence we come?
Oorander 
What are these beggars and why do they come here?
Agmar 
Who said to you that we were beggars?
Oorander 
Why do these men come here?
Agmar 
Who said to you that we were men?
Illanaun 
Now, by the moon!
Agmar 
My sister.
Illanaun 
What?
Agmar 
My little sister.
Slag 
Our little sister the moon. She comes to us at evenings away in the mountains of Marma. She trips over the mountains when she is young. When she is young and slender she comes and dances before us, and when she is old and unshapely she hobbles away from the hills.
Agmar 
Yet is she young again and forever nimble with youth; yet she comes dancing back. The years are not able to curb her nor to bring gray hairs to her brethren.
Oorander 
This is not wonted.
Illanaun 
It is not in accordance with custom.
Akmos 
Prophecy hath not thought it.
Slag 
She comes to us new and nimble, remembering olden loves.
Oorander 
It were well that prophets should come and speak to us.
Illanaun 
This hath not been in the past. Let prophets come. Let prophets speak to us of future things.

{The beggars seat themselves upon the floor in the attitude of the seven gods of Marma.}

Citizen 
I heard men speak today in the market place. They speak of a prophecy read somewhere of old. It says the seven gods shall come from Marma in the guise of men.
Illanaun 
Is this a true prophecy?
Oorander 
It is all the prophecy we have. Man without prophecy is like a sailor going by night over uncharted seas. He knows not where are the rocks nor where the havens. To the man on watch all things are black and the stars guide him not, for he knows not what they are.
Illanaun 
Should we not investigate this prophecy?
Oorander 
Let us accept it. It is as the small, uncertain light of a lantern, carried as it may be by a drunkard, but along the shore of some haven. Let us be guided.
Akmos 
It may be that they are but benevolent gods.
Agmar 
There is no benevolence greater than our benevolence.
Illanaun 
Then we need do little: they portend no danger to us.
Agmar 
There is no anger greater than our anger.
Oorander 
Let us make sacrifices to them if they be gods.
Akmos 
We humbly worship you, if ye be gods.
Illanaun
{kneeling too} You are mightier than all men and hold high rank among other gods and are lords of this our city, and have the thunder as your plaything and the whirlwind and the eclipse and all the destinies of human tribes -- if ye be gods.
Agmar 
Let the pestilence not fall at once on this city, as it had indeed designed to; let not the earthquake swallow it all immediately up amid the howls of the thunder; let not infuriated armies overwhelm those that escape -- if we be gods --
Populace
{in horror} If we be gods!
Oorander 
Come, let us sacrifice.
Illanaun 
Bring lambs!
Akmos 
Quick! Quick! {Exuent some}
Slag
{with solemn air} This god is a very divine god.
Thahn 
He is no common god.
Mlan 
Indeed, he has made us.
Citizen
{to Slag} He will not punish us, master? None of the gods will punish us? We will make a sacrifice, a good sacrifice.
Another 
We will sacrifice a lamb that the priests have blessed.
First citizen 
Master, you are not wroth with us?
Slag 
Who may say what cloudy dooms are rolling up in the mind of the eldest of the gods? He is not common god like us. Once a shepherd went by him in the mountains and doubted. He sent a doom after that shepherd.
Citizen 
Master, we have not doubted.
Slag 
And the doom found him on the hills at evening.
Second citizen 
It shall be a good sacrifice, master.

{Reenter with a dead lamb and fruits. They offer the lamb on an altar where there is fire, and fruits before the altar.}

Thahn
{stretching out a hand to a lamb upon an altar} That leg is not being cooked at all.
Illanaun 
It is strange that gods should be thus anxious about the cooking of a leg of lamb.
Oorander 
It is strange certainly.
Illanaun 
Almost I had said that it was a man that spoke then.
Oorander
{stroking his beard and regarding the second beggar} Strange. Strange, certainly.
Agmar 
Is it then strange that the gods love roasted flesh? For this purpose they keep the lightning. When the lightning flickers about the limbs of men there comes to the gods of Marma a pleasant smell, even a smell of roasting. Sometimes the gods, being pacific, are pleased to have roasted instead the flesh of lamb. It is all one to the gods; let the roasting stop.
Oorander 
No, no, gods of the mountains!
Others 
No, no.
Oorander 
Quick, let us offer flesh to them. If they eat, all is well.

{They offer it; the beggars eat, all but Agmar, who watches.}

Illanaun 
One who was ignorant, one who did not know, had almost said that they ate like hungry men.
Others 
Hush!
Akmos 
Yet they look as though they had not had a meal like this for a long time.
Oorander 
They have a hungry look.
Agmar
{who has not eaten} I have not eaten since the world was very new and the flesh of men was tenderer than now. These younger gods have learned the habit of eating from the lions.
Oorander 
O oldest of divinities, partake, partake.
Agmar 
It is not fitting that such as I should eat. None eat but beasts and men and the younger gods. The sun and the moon and the nimble lightning and I -- we may kill and we may madden, but we do not eat.
Akmos 
If he but eat of our offering he cannot overwhelm us.
All 
Oh, ancient deity, partake, partake.
Agmar 
Enough. Let it be enough that these have condescended to this bestial and human habit.
Illanaun
{to Akmos} And yet he is not unlike a beggar whom I saw not so long since.
Oorander 
But beggars eat.
Illanaun 
Now I never knew a beggar yet who would refuse a bowl of Woldery wine.
Akmos 
This is no beggar.
Illanaun 
Nevertheless let us offer him a bowl of Woldery wine.
Akmos 
You do wrong to doubt him.
Illanaun 
I do but wish to prove his divinity. I will fetch the Woldery wine. {Exit}
Akmos 
He will not drink. Yet if he does, then he will not overwhelm us. Let us offer him the wine.

{Reenter Illanaun with a goblet.}

First beggar 
It is Woldery wine!
Second beggar 
It is Woldery!
Third beggar 
A goblet of Woldery wine!
Fourth beggar 
O blessed day!
Mlan 
O happy times!
Slag 
O my wise master!

{Illanaun takes the goblet. All the beggars stretch out their hands including Agmar. Illanaun gives it to Agmar. Agmar takes it solemnly, and very carefully pours it out on the ground.}

First beggar 
He has spilt it.
Second beggar 
He has spilt it. {Agmar sniffs the fumes, loquitur}
Agmar 
It is a fitting libation. Our anger is somewhat appeased.
Another beggar 
But it was Woldery!
Akmos
{kneeling to Agmar} Master, I am childless, and I --
Agmar 
Trouble us not now. It is the hour at which the gods are accustomed to speak to the gods in the language of the gods, and if Man heard us he would guess the futility of his destiny, which were not well for Man. Begone! Begone!
One lingers {loquitur} Master --
Agmar 
Begone!

{Exeunt. Agmar takes up a piece of meat and begins to eat it; the beggars rise and stretch themselves; they laugh, but Agmar eats hungrily.}

Oogno 
Ah! Now we have come into our own.
Thahn 
Now we have alms.
Slag 
Master! My wise master!
Ulf 
These are the good days, the good days; and yet I have a fear.
Slag 
What do you fear? There is nothing to fear. No man is as wise as my master.
Ulf 
I fear the gods whom we pretend to be.
Slag 
The gods?
Agmar
{taking a chunk of meat from his lips} Come hither, Slag.
Slag
{going up to him} Yes, master.
Agmar 
Watch in the doorway while I eat. {Slag goes to the doorway} Sit in the attitude of a god. Warn me if any of the citizens approach.

{Slag sits in the doorway in the attitude of a god, back to the audience.

Oogno
{to Agmar} But, master, shall we not have Woldery wine?
Agmar 
We shall have all things if only we are wise at first for a little.
Thahn 
Master, do any suspect us?
Agmar 
We must be very wise.
Thahn 
But if we are not wise, master?
Agmar 
Why, then death may come to us --
Thahn 
O master!
Agmar 
-- slowly.

{All stir uneasily except Slag, who sits motionless in the doorway.}

Oogno 
Do they believe us, master?
Slag
{half turning his head} Someone comes.

{Slag resumes his position.}

Agmar
{putting away his meat} We shall soon know now.

{All take up the attitude. Enter One, loquitur.}

One 
Master, I want the god that does not eat.
Agmar 
I am he.
One 
Master, my child was bitten in the throat by a death-adder at noon. Spare him, master; he still breathes, but slowly.
Agmar 
Is he indeed your child?
One 
He is surely my child, master.
Agmar 
Was it your wont to thwart him at his play, while he was strong and well?
One 
I never thwarted him, master.
Agmar 
Whose child is Death?
One 
Death is the child of the gods.
Agmar 
Do you that never thwarted your child in his play ask this of the gods?
One
{with some horror, perceiving Agmar's meaning} Master!
Agmar 
Weep not. For all the houses that men have builded are the play-fields of this child of the gods.

{The Man goes away in silence, not weeping.}

Oogno
{taking Thahn by the wrist} Is this indeed a man?
Agmar 
A man, a man, and until just now a hungry one.


{Curtain}

The Third Act[edit]

{Same room. A few days have elapsed. Seven thrones shaped like mountain-crags stand along the back of the stage. On these the beggars are lounging. The Thief is absent.}

Mlan 
Never had beggars such a time.
Oogno 
Ah, the fruits and tender lamb!
Thahn 
The Woldery wine!
Slag 
It was better to see my master's wise devices than to have fruit and lamb and Woldery wine.
Mlan 
Ah! When they spied on him to see if he would eat when they went away!
Oogno 
When they questioned him concerning the gods and Man!
Thahn 
When they asked him why the gods permitted cancer!
Slag 
Ah, my wise master!
Mlan 
How well his scheme has succeeded!
Oogno 
How far away is hunger!
Thahn 
It is even like to one of last year's dreams, the trouble of a brief night long ago.
Oogno
{laughing} Ho, ho, ho! To see them pray to us.
Agmar 
When we were beggars did we not speak as beggars? Did we not whine as they? Was not our mien beggarly?
Oogno 
We were the pride of our calling.
Agmar 
Then now that we are gods, let us be as gods, and not mock our worshippers.
Ulf 
I think that the gods do mock their worshippers.
Agmar 
The gods have never mocked us. We are above all pinnacles that we have ever gazed at in dreams.
Ulf 
I think that when man is high then most of all are the gods wont to mock him.
Thief
{entering} Master! I have been with those that know all and see all. I have been with the thieves, master. They know me for one of the craft, but they do not know me as being one of us.
Agmar 
Well, well!
Thief 
There is danger, master, there is great danger.
Agmar 
You mean that they suspect we are men.
Thief 
That they have long done, master. I mean that they will know it. Then we are lost.
Agmar 
Then they do not know it.
Thief 
They do not know it yet, but they will know it, and we are lost.
Agmar 
When will they know it?
Thief 
Three days ago they suspected us.
Agmar 
More than you think suspected us, but have any dared to say so?
Thief 
No, master.
Agmar 
Then forget your fears, my thief.
Thief 
Two men went on dromedaries three days ago to see if the gods were still at Marma.
Agmar 
They went to Marma!
Thief 
Yes, three days ago.
Oogno 
We are lost!
Agmar 
They went three days ago?
Thief 
Yes, on dromedaries.
Agmar 
Then they should be back to-day.
Oogno 
We are lost!
Thahn 
We are lost!
Thief 
They must have seen the green jade idols sitting against the mountains. They will say, "The gods are still at Marma." And we shall be burnt.
Slag 
My master will yet devise a plan.
Agmar
{to the Thief} Slip away to some high place and look toward the desert and see how long we have to devise a plan.
Slag 
My master will find a plan.
Oogno 
He has taken us into a trap.
Thahn 
His wisdom is our doom.
Slag 
He will find a wise plan yet.
Thief
{reentering} It is too late!
Agmar 
It is too late!
Thief 
The dromedary men are here.
Oogno 
We are lost!
Agmar 
Be quiet! I must think.

{They all sit still. Citizens enter and prostrate themselves. Agmar sits deep in thought.}

Illanaun
{to Agmar} Two holy pilgrims have gone to your sacred shrines, wherein you were wont to sit before you left the mountains. {Agmar says nothing} They return even now.
Agmar 
They left us here and went to find the gods? A fish once took a journey into a far country to find the sea.
Illanaun 
Most reverend deity, their piety is so great that they have gone to worship even your shrines.
Agmar 
I know these men that have great piety. Such men have often prayed to me before, but their prayers are not acceptable. They little love the gods; their only care is their piety. I know these pious ones. They will say that the seven gods were still at Marma. They will lie and say that we were still at Marma. So shall they seem more pious than you all, pretending that they alone have seen the gods. Fools shall believe them and share in their damnation.
Oorander
{to Illanaun} Hush! You anger the gods.
Illanaun 
I am not sure who I anger.
Oorander 
It may be they are the gods.
Illanaun 
Where are these men from Marma?
Citizen 
Here are the dromedary men; they are coming now.
Illanaun
{to Agmar} The holy pilgrims from your shrine are come to worship you.
Agmar 
The men are doubters. How the gods hate the word! Doubt ever contaminated virtue. Let them be cast into prison and not besmirch your purity. {Rising} Let them not enter here.
Illanaun 
But oh, most reverend deity from the Mountain, we also doubt, most reverend deity.
Agmar 
You have chosen. You have chosen. And yet it is not too late. Repent and cast these men into prison and it may not be too late. The gods have never wept. And yet when they think upon damnation and the dooms that are withering a myriad bones, then almost, were they not divine, they could weep. Be quick! Repent of your doubt.

{Enter the Dromedary Men.}

Illanaun 
Most reverend deity, it is a mighty doubt.
Citizens 
Nothing has killed him! They are not the gods!
Slag
{to Agmar} You have a plan, my master. You have a plan.
Agmar 
Not yet, Slag.
Illanaun
{to Oorander} These are the men that went to the shrines at Marma.
Oorander
{in a loud, clear voice} Were the Gods of the Mountain seated still at Marma, or were they not there?

{The beggars get hurriedly up from their thrones.}

Dromedary Man 
They were not there.
Illanaun 
They were not there?
Dromedary Man 
Their shrines were empty.
Oorander 
Behold the Gods of the Mountain!
Akmos 
They have indeed come from Marma.
Oorander 
Come. Let us go away to prepare a sacrifice. A mighty sacrifice to atone for our doubting. {Exeunt.}
Slag 
My most wise master!
Agmar 
No, no, Slag. I do not know what has befallen. When I went by Marma only two weeks ago the idols of green jade were still seated there.
Oogno 
We are saved now.
Thahn 
Ay, we are saved.
Agmar 
We are saved, but I know not how.
Oogno 
Never had beggars such a time.
Thief 
I will go out and watch. {He creeps out.}
Ulf 
Yet I have a fear.
Oogno 
A fear? Why, we are saved.
Ulf 
Last night I dreamed.
Oogno 
What was your dream?
Ulf 
It was nothing. I dreamed that I was thirsty and one gave me Woldery wine; yet there was a fear in my dream.
Thahn 
When I drink Woldery I am afraid of nothing.
Thief
{reentering} They are making a pleasant banquet ready for us; they are killing lambs, and girls are there with fruits, and there is to be much Woldery wine.
Mlan 
Never had beggars such a time.
Agmar 
Do any doubt us now?
Thief 
I do not know.
Mlan 
When will the banquet be?
Thief 
When the stars come out.
Oogno 
Ah! It is sunset already. There will be good eating.
Thahn 
We shall see the girls come in with baskets upon their heads.
Oogno 
There will be fruits in the baskets.
Thahn 
All the fruits of the valley.
Mlan 
Oh, how long we have wandered along the ways of the world!
Slag 
Oh, how hard they were!
Thahn 
And how dusty!
Oogno 
And how little wine!
Mlan 
How long have we asked and asked, and for how much!
Agmar 
We to whom all things are coming at last!
Thief 
I fear lest my art forsake me now that good things come without stealing.
Agmar 
You will need your art no longer.
Slag 
The wisdom of my master shall suffice us all our days.

{Enter a frightened Man. He kneels before Agmar and abases his forehead.}

Man 
Master, we implore you, the people beseech you.

{Agmar and the beggars in the attitude of the gods sit silent.}

Man 
Master, it is terrible. {The beggars maintain silence.} It is terrible when you wander in the evening. It is terrible on the edge of the desert in the evening. Children die when they see you.
Agmar 
In the desert? When did you see us?
Man 
Last night, master. You were terrible last night. You were terrible in the gloaming. When your hands were stretched out and groping. You were feeling for the city.
Agmar 
Last night do you say?
Man 
You were terrible in the gloaming!
Agmar 
You yourself saw us?
Man 
Yes, master, you were terrible. Children too saw you and they died.
Agmar 
You say you saw us?
Man 
Yes, master. Not as you are now, but otherwise. We implore you, master, not to wander at evening. You are terrible in the gloaming. You are --
Agmar 
You say we appeared not as we now are. How did we appear to you?
Man 
Otherwise, master, otherwise.
Agmar 
But how did we appear to you?
Man 
You were all green, master, all green in the gloaming, all of rock again as you used to be in the mountains. Master, we can bear to see you in flesh like men, but when we see rock walking it is terrible, it is terrible.
Agmar 
That is how we appeared to you?
Man 
Yes, master. Rock should not walk. When children see it they do not understand. Rock should not walk in the evening.
Agmar 
There have been doubters of late. Are they satisfied?
Man 
Master, they are terrified. Spare us, master.
Agmar 
It is wrong to doubt. Go and be faithful.

{Exit Man.}

Slag 
What have they seen, master?
Agmar 
They have seen their own fears dancing in the desert. They have seen something green after the light was gone, and some child has told them a tale that it was us. I do not know what they have seen. What should they have seen?
Ulf 
Something was coming this way from the desert, he said.
Slag 
What should come from the desert?
Agmar 
They are a foolish people.
Ulf 
That man's white face has seen some frightful thing.
Agmar 
It is only we that have frightened them and their fears have made them foolish.

{Enter an Attendant with a torch or lantern which he places in a receptacle. Exit.}

Thahn 
Now we shall see the faces of the girls when they come to the banquet.
Mlan 
Never had beggars such a time.
Agmar 
Hark! They are coming. I hear footsteps.
Thahn 
The dancing girls! They are coming!
Thief 
There is no sound of flutes, they said they would come with music.
Oogno 
What heavy boots they have; they sound like feet of stone.
Thahn 
I do not like to hear their heavy tread. Those that would dance to us must be light of foot.
Agmar 
I shall not smile at them if they are not airy.
Mlan 
They are coming very slowly. They should come nimbly to us.
Ulf
{in a loud voice, almost chanting} I have a fear, an old fear and a boding. We have done ill in the sight of the seven gods. Beggars we were and beggars we should have remained. We have given up our calling and come in sight of our doom. I will not longer let my fear be silent; it shall run about and cry; it shall go from me crying, like a dog from a doomed city; for my fear has seen calamity and has known an evil thing.
Slag
{hoarsely} Master!
Agmar
{rising} Come, come!

{They listen. No one speaks. The stony boots come on. Enter in single file through door in right of back, a procession of seven green men, even hands and faces are green; they wear greenstone sandals; they walk with knees extremely wide apart, as having sat cross-legged for centuries; their right arms and right forefingers point upward, right elbows resting on right hands; they stoop grotesquely. Halfway to the footlights they left wheel. They pass in front of the seven beggars, now in terrified attitudes, and six of them sit down in the attitude described, with their backs to the audience. The leader stands, still stooping.}

Oogno
{cries out just as they wheel left} The Gods of the Mountain!
Agmar
{hoarsely} Be still! They are dazzled by the light. They may not see us.

{The leading Green Thing points his finger at the lantern -- the flame turns green. When the six are seated the leader points one by one at each of the seven beggars, shooting out his forefinger at them. As he does this each beggar in his turn gathers himself back on to his throne and crosses his legs, his right arm goes stiffly upward with forefinger erect, and a staring look of horror comes into his eyes. In this attitude the beggars sit motionless while a green light falls upon their faces. The gods go out. Presently enter the Citizens, some with victuals and fruit. One touches a beggars arm and then another's.}

Citizen 
They are cold; they have turned to stone.

{All abase themselves, foreheads to the floor.}

One 
We have doubted them. We have doubted them. They have turned to stone because we have doubted them.
Another 
They were the true gods.
All 
They were the true gods.


{Curtain}

The Golden Doom[edit]

Persons

The King
Chamberlain
Chief Prophet
Girl
Boy
Spies
First Prophet
Second Prophet
First Sentry
Second Sentry
Stranger
Attendants

Scene

Outside the King's great door in Zericon.

Time

Some while before the fall of Babylon.



{Two Sentries pace to and fro, then halt, one on each side of the great door.}

First Sentry 
The day is deadly sultry.
Second Sentry 
I would that I were swimming down the Gyshon, on the cool side, under the fruit trees.
First Sentry 
It is like to thunder or the fall of a dynasty.
Second Sentry 
It will grow cool by night-fall. Where is the King?
First Sentry 
He rows in his golden barge with ambassadors or whispers with captains concerning future wars. The stars spare him!
Second Sentry 
Why do you say "the stars spare him"?
First Sentry 
Because if a doom from the stars fall suddenly on a king it swallows up his people and all things round about him, and his palace falls and the walls of his city and citadel, and the apes come in from the woods and the large beasts from the desert, so that you would not say that a king had been there at all.
Second Sentry 
But why should a doom from the stars fall on the King?
First Sentry 
Because he seldom placates them.
Second Sentry 
Ah! I have heard that said of him.
First Sentry 
Who are the stars that a man should scorn them? Should they that rule the thunder, the plague and the earthquake withhold these things save for much prayer? Always ambassadors are with the King, and his commanders, come in from distant lands, prefects of cities and makers of the laws, but never the priests of the stars.
Second Sentry 
Hark! Was that thunder?
First Sentry 
Believe me, the stars are angry.

{Enter a Stranger. He wanders towards the King's door, gazing about him.}

Sentries
{lifting their spears at him} Go back! Go back!
Stranger 
Why?
First Sentry 
It is death to touch the King's door.
Stranger 
I am a stranger from Thessaly.
First Sentry 
It is death even for a stranger.
Stranger 
Your door is strangely sacred.
First Sentry 
It is death to touch it.

{The Stranger wanders off.}

{Enter two children hand in hand.}

Boy
{to the Sentry} I want to see the King to pray for a hoop.

{The Sentry smiles.}

Boy
{pushes the door; to girl} I cannot open it. {To the Sentry} Will it do as well if I pray to the King's door?
Sentry 
Yes, quite as well. {Turns to talk to the other Sentry} Is there anyone in sight?
Second Sentry
{shading his eyes} Nothing but a dog, and he far out on the plain.
First Sentry 
Then we can talk awhile and eat bash.
Buy 
King's door, I want a little hoop.

{The Sentries take a little bash between finger and thumb from pouches and put that wholly forgotten drug to their lips.}

Girl
{pointing} My father is a taller soldier than that.
Boy 
My father can write. He taught me.
Girl 
Ho! Writing frightens nobody. My father is a soldier.
Boy 
I have a lump of gold. I found it in stream that runs down to Gyshon.
Girl 
I have a poem. I found it in my own head.
Boy 
Is it a long poem?
Girl 
No. But it would have been only there were no more rhymes for sky.
Boy 
What is your poem?
Girl 
I saw a purple bird
Go up against the sky
And it went up and up
And round about did fly.
Boy 
I saw it die.
Girl 
That does n't scan.
Boy 
Oh, that does n't matter.
Girl 
Do you like my poem?
Boy 
Birds are n't purple.
Girl 
My bird was.
Boy 
Oh!
Girl 
Oh, you don't like my poem!
Boy 
Yes, I do.
Girl 
No, you don't; you think it horrid.
Boy 
No. I don't.
Girl 
Yes, you do. Why did n't you say you liked it? It is the only poem I ever made.
Boy 
I do like it. I do like it.
Girl 
You don't, you don't!
Boy 
Don't be angry. I'll write it on the door for you.
Girl 
You'll write it?
Boy 
Yes, I can write. My father taught me. I'll write it with my lump of gold. It makes a yellow mark on the iron door.
Girl 
Oh, do write it! I would like to see it written like real poetry.

{The Boy begins to write. The Girl watches.}

First Sentry 
You see, we'll be fighting again soon.
Second Sentry 
Only a little war. We never have more than a little war with the hill-folk.
First Sentry 
When a man goes to fight, the curtains of the gods wax thicker than ever before between his eyes and the future; he may go to a great or to a little war.
Second Sentry 
There can only be a little war with the hill-folk.
First Sentry 
Yet sometimes the gods laugh.
Second Sentry 
At whom?
First Sentry 
At kings.
Second Sentry 
Why have you grown uneasy about this war in the hills?
First Sentry 
Because the King is powerful beyond any of his fathers, and has more fighting men, more horses, and wealth that could have ransomed his father and his grandfather and dowered their queens and daughters; and every year his miners bring him more from the opal-mines and from the turquoise-quarries. He has grown very mighty.
Second Sentry 
Then he will the more easily crush the hill-folk in a little war.
First Sentry 
When kings grow very mighty the stars grow very jealous.
Boy 
I've written your poem.
Girl 
Oh, have you really?
Boy 
Yes, I'll read it to you. {He reads}
I saw a purple bird
Go up against the sky
And it went up and up
And round about did fly.
I saw it die.
Girl 
It does n't scan.
Boy 
That does n't matter.

{Enter furtively a Spy, who crosses stage and goes out. The Sentries cease to talk.}

Girl 
That man frightens me.
Boy 
He is only one of the King's spies.
Girl 
But I don't like the King's spies. They frighten me.
Boy 
Come on, then, we'll run away.
Sentry
{noticing the children again} Go away, go away! The King is coming, he will eat you.

{The Boy throws a stone at the Sentry and runs out. Enter another Spy, who notices the door. He examines it and utters an owl-like whistle. No. 2 comes back. They do not speak. Both whistle. No. 3 comes. All examine the door. Enter the King and his Chamberlain. The King wears a purple robe. The Sentries smartly transfer their spears to their left hands and return their right arms to their right sides. They then lower their spears until their points are within an inch of the ground, at the same time raising their right hands above their heads. They stand for some moments thus. Then they lower their right arms to their right sides, at the same time raising their spears. In the next motion they take their spears into their right hands and lower the butts to the floor, where they were before, the spears slanting forward a little. Both Sentries must move together precisely.}

First Spy
{runs forward to the King and kneels, abasing his forehead to the floor} Something has written on the iron door.
Chamberlain 
On the iron door!
King 
Some fool has done it. Who has been here since yesterday?
First Sentry
{shifts his hand a little higher on his spear, brings the spear to his side and closes his heels all in one motion; he then takes one pace backward with his right foot; then he kneels on his right knee; when he has done these he speaks, but not before} Nobody, Majesty, but a stranger from Thessaly.
King 
Did he touch the iron door?
First Sentry 
No, Majesty; he tried to, but we drove him away.
King 
How near did he come?
First Sentry 
Nearly to our spears, Majesty.
King 
What was his motive in seeking to touch the iron door?
First Sentry 
I do not know, Majesty.
King 
Which way did he go?
First Sentry
{pointing left} That way, Majesty, an hour ago.

{The King whispers with one of his Spies, who stoops and examines the ground and steals away. The Sentry rises.}

King
{to his two remaining Spies} What does this writing say?
A Spy 
We cannot read, Majesty.
King 
A good spy should know everything.
Second Spy 
We watch, Majesty, and we search out, Majesty. We read shadows, and we read footprints, and whispers in secret places. But we do not read writing.
King
{to the Chamberlain} See what it is.
Chamberlain
{goes up and reads} It is treason, Majesty.
King 
Read it.
Chamberlain 
I saw a purple bird
Go up against the sky
And it went up and up
And round about did fly.
I saw it die.
First Sentry
{aside} The stars have spoken.
King
{to the Sentry} Has anyone been here but the stranger from Thessaly?
Sentry
{kneeling as before} Nobody, Majesty.
King 
You saw nothing?
First Sentry 
Nothing but a dog far out upon the plain and the children of the guard at play.
King
{to the Second Sentry} And you?
Second Sentry
{kneeling} Nothing, Majesty.
Chamberlain 
That is strange.
King 
It is some secret warning.
Chamberlain 
It is treason.
King 
It is from the stars.
Chamberlain 
No, no, Majesty. Not from the stars, not from the stars. Some man has done it. Yet the thing should be interpreted. Shall I send for the prophets of the stars?

{The King beckons to his Spies. They run up to him.}

King 
Find me some prophet of the stars. {Exeunt Spies} I fear that we may go no more, my chamberlain, along the winding ways of unequalled Zericon, nor play dahoori with the golden balls. I have thought more of my people than of the stars and more of Zericon than of windy Heaven.
Chamberlain 
Believe me, Majesty, some idle man has written it and passed by. Your spies shall find him, and then his name will be soon forgotten.
King 
Yes, yes. Perhaps you are right, though the sentries saw no one. No doubt some beggar did it.
Chamberlain 
Yes, Majesty, some beggar has surely done it. But look, here come two prophets of the stars. They shall tell us that this is idle.

{Enter two Prophets and a Boy attending them. All bow deeply to the King. The two Spies steal in again and stand at back.}

King 
Some beggar has written a rhyme on the iron gate, and as the ways of rhyme are known to you I desired you, rather as poets than as prophets, to say whether there was any meaning in it.
Chamberlain 
'T is but an idle rhyme.
First Prophet
{bows again and goes up to the door. He glances at the writing} Come hither, servant of those that serve the stars.

{Attendant approaches.}

First Prophet 
Bring hither our golden cloaks, for this may be a matter for rejoicing; and bring our green cloaks also, for this may tell of young new beautiful things with which the stars will one day gladden the King; and bring our black cloaks also, for it may be a doom. {Exit the Boy; the Prophet goes up to the door and reads solemnly} The stars have spoken.
King 
I tell you that some beggar has written this.
First Prophet 
It is written in pure gold. {He dons the black cloak over body and head}
King 
What do the stars mean? What warning is it?
First Prophet 
I cannot say.
King
{to Second Prophet} Come you then and tell us what the warning is.
Second Prophet 
The stars have spoken. {He cloaks himself in black}
King 
What is it? What does it mean?
Second Prophet 
We do not know, but it is from the stars.
Chamberlain 
It is a harmless thing; there is no harm in it, Majesty. Why should not birds die?
King 
Why have the prophets covered themselves in black?
Chamberlain 
They are a secret people and look for inner meanings. There is no harm in it.
King 
They have covered themselves in black.
Chamberlain 
They have not spoken of any evil thing. They have not spoken of it.
King 
If the people see the prophets covered in black they will say that the stars are against me and believe that my luck has turned.
Chamberlain 
The people must not know.
King 
Some prophet must interpret to us the doom. Let the chief prophet of the stars be sent for.
Chamberlain
{going toward left exit} Summon the chief prophet of the stars that look on Zericon.
Voices off 
The chief prophet of the stars. The chief prophet of the stars.
Chamberlain 
I have summoned the chief prophet, Majesty.
King 
If he interpret this aright I will put a necklace of turquoises round his neck with opals from the mines.
Chamberlain 
He will not fail. He is a very cunning interpreter.
King 
What if he covers himself with a huge black cloak and does not speak and goes muttering away, slowly with bended head, till our fear spreads to the sentries and they cry aloud?
Chamberlain 
This is no doom from the stars, but some idle scribe hath written it in his insolence upon the iron door, wasting his hoard of gold.
King 
Not for myself I have a fear of doom, not for myself; but I have inherited a rocky land, windy and ill-nurtured, and nursed it to prosperity by years of peace and spread its boundaries by years of war. I have brought up harvests out of barren acres and given good laws unto naughty towns, and my people are happy, and lo, the stars are angry!
Chamberlain 
It is not the stars, it is not the stars, Majesty, for the prophets of the stars have not interpreted it. Indeed, it was some reveller wasting his gold.

{Meanwhile enter Chief Prophet of the stars that look on Zericon.}

King 
Chief Prophet of the stars that look on Zericon, I would have you interpret the rhyme upon yonder door.
Chief Prophet
{goes up to door and reads} It is from the stars.
King 
Interpret it and you shall have great turquoises round your neck, with opals from the mines in the frozen mountains.
Chief Prophet
{cloaks himself like the others in a great black cloak} Who should wear purple in the land but a King, or who should go up against the sky but one who has troubled the stars by neglecting their ancient worship? Such a one has gone up and up increasing in power and wealth, such a one has soared above the crowns of those that went before him, such a one the stars have doomed, the undying ones, the illustrious.

{A pause.}

King 
Who wrote it?
Chief Prophet 
It is pure gold. Some god has written it.
Chamberlain 
Some god?
First Sentry
{aside to Second Sentry} Last night I saw a star go flaming earthward.
King 
Is this a warning or is it a doom?
Chief Prophet 
The stars have spoken.
King 
Is it, then, a doom?
Chief Prophet 
They speak not in jest.
King 
I have been a great King -- Let it be said of me "The stars overthrew him, and they sent a god for his doom." For I have not met my equal among kings that man should overthrow me; and I have not oppressed my people that man should rise up against me.
Chief Prophet 
It is better to give worship to the stars than to do good to man. It is better to be humble before the gods than proud in the face of your enemy though he do evil.
King 
Let the stars hearken yet and I will sacrifice a child to them -- I will sacrifice a girl child to the twinkling stars and a male child to the stars that blink not, the stars of the steadfast eyes. {To his Spies} Let a boy and a girl be brought for sacrifice.

{Exit a Spy to the right looking at footprints.} Will you accept this sacrifice to the god that the stars have sent? They say that the gods love children.

Chief Prophet 
I may refuse no sacrifice to the stars nor to the gods whom they send. {To the other Prophets} Make ready the sacrificial knives.

{The Prophets draw knives and sharpen them.}

King 
Is it fitting that the sacrifice take place by the iron door where the god from the stars has trod, or must it be in the temple?
Chief Prophet 
Let it be offered by the iron door. {To the other Prophets} Fetch hither the altar stone.

{The owl-like whistle is heard off right. The Third Spy runs crouching toward it. Exit.}

King 
Will this sacrifice avail to avert the doom?
Chief Prophet 
Who knows?
King 
I fear that even yet the doom will fall.
Chief Prophet 
It were wise to sacrifice some greater thing.
King 
What more can a man offer?
Chief Prophet 
His pride.
King 
What pride?
Chief Prophet 
Your pride that went up against the sky and troubled the stars.
King 
How shall I sacrifice my pride to the stars?
Chief Prophet 
It is upon your pride that the doom will fall, and will take away your crown and will take away your kingdom.
King 
I will sacrifice my crown and reign uncrowned among you, so only I save my kingdom.
Chief Prophet 
If you sacrifice your crown which is your pride, and if the stars accept it, perhaps the god that they went may avert the doom and you may still reign in your kingdom though humbled and uncrowned.
King 
Shall I burn my crown with spices and with incense or cast it into the sea?
Chief Prophet 
Let it be laid here by the iron door where the god came who wrote the golden doom. When he comes again by night to shrivel up the city or to pour an enemy in through the iron door, he will see your cast-off pride and perhaps accept it and take it away to the neglected stars.
King
{to the Chamberlain} Go after my spies and say that I make no sacrifice.

{Exit the Chamberlain; the King takes off his crown} Good-bye, my brittle glory; kings have sought you, the stars have envied you. {The stage grows darker}

Chief Prophet 
Even now the sun has set who denies the stars, and the day is departed wherein no gods walk abroad. It is near the hour when spirits roam the earth and all things that go unseen, and the faces of the abiding stars will be soon revealed to the fields. Lay your crown there and let us come away.
The Sentries
{kneeling} Yes, Majesty.

{They remain kneeling until after the King has gone. King and the Chief Prophet walk away.}

Chief Prophet 
It was your pride. Let it be forgotten. May the stars accept it. {Exeunt left}

{The Sentries rise}

First Sentry 
The stars have envied him!
Second Sentry 
It is an ancient crown. He wore it well.
First Sentry 
May the stars accept it.
Second Sentry 
If they do not accept it what doom will overtake us?
First Sentry 
It will suddenly be as though there were never any city of Zericon nor two sentries like you and me standing before the door.
Second Sentry 
Why! How do you know?
First Sentry 
That is ever the way of the gods.
Second Sentry 
But it is unjust.
First Sentry 
How should the gods know that?
Second Sentry 
Will it happen to-night?
First Sentry 
Come! we must march away. {Exeunt right}

{The stage grows increasingly darker. Reenter the Chamberlain from the right. He walks across the Stage and goes out to the left. Reenter Spies from the right. They cross the stage, which is now nearly dark.}

Boy
{enters from the right, dressed in white, his hands out a little, crying} King's door, King's door, I want my little hoop. {He goes up to the King's door. When he sees the King's crown there, he utters a satisfied} O-oh! {He takes it up, puts it on the ground, and, beating it before him with the sceptre, goes out by the way that he entered.}

{The great door opens; there is light within; a furtive Spy slips out and sees that the crown is gone. Another Spy slips out. Their crouching heads come close together.}

First Spy
{hoarse whisper} The gods have come!

{They run back through the door and the door is closed. It opens again and the King and the Chamberlain come through.}

King 
The stars are satisfied.

{Curtain}

King Argimenes and the - Unknown Warrior[edit]

Persons

Slaves of King Darniak
King Argimenes
Zarb, a slave born of slaves
An Old Slave
A Young Slave
Slaves

King Darniak
The King's Overseer
A Prophet
The Idol-Guard
The Servant of the King's Dog

Queens of King Darniak
Queen Atharlia
Queen Oxara
Queen Cahafra
Queen Thragolind

Guards and Attendants


Time

A long time ago.



The First Act[edit]

{The dinner-hour on the slave fields of King Darniak. King Argimenes is sitting on the ground, bowed, ragged and dirty, gnawing a bone. He has uncouth hair and a dishevelled beard. A battered spade lies near him. Two or three slaves sit at back of stage eating raw cabbage-leaves. The tear-song, the chant of the low-born, rises at intervals, monotonous and mournful, coming from distant slave-fields.}

King Argimenes 
This is a good bone; there is juice in this bone.
Zarb 
I wish I were you, Argimenes.
King Argimenes 
I am not to be envied any longer. I have eaten up my bone.
Zarb 
I wish I were you, because you have been a king. Because men have prostrated themselves before your feet. Because you have ridden a horse and worn a crown and been called Majesty.
King Argimenes 
When I remember that I have been a king it is very terrible.
Zarb 
But you are lucky to have such things in your memory as you have. I have nothing in my memory -- Once I went for a year without being flogged, and I remember my cleverness in contriving it -- I have nothing else to remember.
King Argimenes 
It is very terrible to have been a king.
Zarb 
But we have nothing who have no good memories in the past. It is not easy for us to hope for the future here.
King Argimenes 
Have you any god?
Zarb 
We may not have a god because he might make us brave and we might kill our guards. He might make a miracle and give us swords.
King Argimenes 
Ah, you have no hope,then.
Zarb 
I have a little hope. Hush, and I will tell you a secret -- The King's great dog is ill and like to die. They will throw him to us. We shall have beautiful bones then.
King Argimenes 
Ah! Bones.
Zarb 
Yes. That is what I hope for. And have you no other hope? Do you not hope that your nation will arise some day and rescue you and cast off the king and hang him by his thumbs from the palace gateway?
King Argimenes 
No. I have no other hope, for my god was cast down in the temple and broken into three pieces on the day that they surprised us and took me sleeping. But will they throw him to us? Will so honorable a brute as the King's dog be thrown to us?
Zarb 
When he is dead his honors are taken away. Even the King when he is dead is given to the worms. Then why should not his dog be thrown to us?
King Argimenes 
We are not worms!
Zarb 
You do not understand, Argimenes. The worms are little and free, while we are big and enslaved. I did not say we were worms, but we are like worms, and if they have the King when he is dead, why then --
King Argimenes 
Tell me more of the King's dog. Are there big bones on him?
Zarb 
Aye, he is a big dog -- a high, big black one.
King Argimenes 
You know him then?
Zarb 
Oh yes, I know him. I know him well. I was beaten once because of him, twenty-five strokes from the treble whips, two men beating me.
King Argimenes 
How did they beat you because of the King's dog?
Zarb 
They beat me because I spoke to him without making obeisance. He was coming dancing alone over the slave-fields and I spoke to him. He was a friendly great dog, and I spoke to him and patted his head, and did not make obeisance.
King Argimenes 
And they saw you do it?
Zarb 
Yes, the slave-guard saw me. They came and seized me at once and bound my arms. The great dog wanted me to speak to him again, but I was hurried away.
King Argimenes 
You should have made obeisance.
Zarb 
The great dog seemed so friendly that I forgot he was the King's great dog.
King Argimenes 
But tell me more. Was it a hurt or a sickness?
Zarb 
They say that it is a sickness.
King Argimenes 
Ah, then he will grow thin if he does not die soon. If it had been a hurt! -- but we should not complain. I complain more often than you do because I had not learned to submit while I was yet young.
Zarb 
If your beautiful memories do not please you, you should hope more. I wish I had your memories. I should not trouble to hope then. It is very hard to hope.
King Argimenes 
There will be nothing more to hope for when we have eaten the King's dog.
Zarb 
Why, you might find gold in the earth while you were digging. Then you might bribe the commander of the guard to lend you his sword; we would all follow you if you had a sword. Then we might take the King and bind him and lay him on the ground and fasten his tongue outside his mouth with thorns and put honey on it and sprinkle honey near. Then the gray ants would come from one of their big mounds. My father found gold once when he was digging.
King Argimenes
{pointedly} Did your father free himself?
Zarb 
No. Because the King's Overseer found him looking at the gold and killed him. But he would have freed himself if he could have bribed the guard.

{A Prophet walks across the stage attended by two guards.}

Slaves 
He is going to the King. He is going to the King.
Zarb 
He is going to the King.
King Argimenes 
Going to prophesy good things to the King. It is easy to prophesy good things to a king, and be rewarded when the good things come. What else should come to a king? A prophet! A prophet!

{A deep bell tolls slowly. King Argimenes and Zarb pick up their spades at once, and the old slaves at the back of the stage go down on their knees immediately and grub in the soil with their hands. The white beard of the oldest trails in the dirt as he works. King Argimenes digs.}

King Argimenes 
What is the name of that song that we always sing? I like the song.
Zarb 
It has no name. It is our song. There is no other song.
King Argimenes 
Once there were other songs. Has this no name?
Zarb 
I think the soldiers have a name for it.
King Argimenes 
What do the soldiers call it?
Zarb 
The soldiers call it the tear-song, the chant of the low-born.
King Argimenes 
It is a good song. I could sing no other now.

{Zarb moves away digging.}

King Argimenes
{to himself as his spade touches something in the earth} Metal! {Feels with his spade again.} Gold perhaps! -- It is of no use here. {Uncovers earth leisurely. Suddenly he drops on his knees and works excitedly in the earth with his hands. Then very slowly, still kneeling, he lifts, lying flat on his hands, a long greenish sword, his eyes intent on it. About the level of his uplifted forehead he holds it, still flat on both hands, and addresses it thus:} O holy and blessed thing! {Then he lowers it slowly till his hands rest on his knees, and looking all the while at the sword, loquitur.} Three years ago to-morrow King Darniak spat at me, having taken my kingdom from me. Three times in that year I was flogged, with twelve stripes, with seventeen stripes, and with twenty stripes. A year and eleven months ago, come Moon-day, the King's Overseer struck me in the face, and nine times in that year he called me dog. For one month two weeks and a day I was yoked with a bullock and pulled a rounded stone all day over the paths, except while we were fed. I was flogged twice that year -- with eighteen stripes and with ten stripes. This year the roof of the slave-sty has fallen in and King Darniak will not repair it. Five weeks ago one of his Queens laughed at me as she came across the slave-fields. I was flogged again this year and with thirteen stripes, and twelve times they have called me dog. And these things have they done to a king, and a king of the house of Ithara. {He listens attentively for a moment, then buries the sword again and pats the earth over it with his hands, then digs again.}

{The old slaves do not see him: their faces are to the earth. Enter the King's Overseer carrying a whip. The slaves and King Argimenes kneel with their foreheads to the ground as he passes across the stage. Exit the King's Overseer.}

King Argimenes
{kneeling, hands outspread downward} O warrior spirit, wherever thou wanderest, whoever be thy gods, whether they punish thee or whether they bless thee, O kingly spirit, that once laid here this sword, behold, I pray to thee, having no gods to pray to, for the god of my nation was broken in three by night. Mine arm is stiff with three years' slavery, and remembers not the sword. But guide thy sword till I have slain six men and armed the strongest slaves, and thou shalt have the sacrifice every year of a hundred goodly oxen. And I will build in Ithara a temple to thy memory wherein all that enter in shall remember thee; so shalt thou be honored and envied among the dead, for the dead are very jealous of remembrance. Ay, though thou wert a robber that took men's lives unrighteously, yet shall rare spices smoulder in thy temple and little maidens sing and new-plucked flowers deck the solemn aisles; and priests shall go about it ringing bells that thy soul shall find repose. Oh, but it has a good blade, this old green sword; thou wouldst not like to see it miss its mark (if the dead see at all, as wise men teach), thou wouldst not like to see it go thirsting into the air; so huge a sword should find its marrowy bone. {Extending his right hand upward} Come into my right arm, O ancient spirit, O unknown warrior's soul! And if thou hast the ear of any gods, speak there against Illuriel, god of King Darniak. {He rises and goes on digging.}
The King's Overseer
{reentering} So you have been praying.
King Argimenes
{kneeling} No, master.
The King's Overseer 
The slave-guard saw you. {Strikes him} It is not lawful for a slave to pray.
King Argimenes 
I did but pray to Illuriel to make me a good slave, to teach me to dig well and pull the rounded stone and to make me not to die when the food is scarce, but to be a good slave to my master the great King.
The King's Overseer 
Who art thou to pray to Illuriel? Dogs may not pray to an immortal god. {Exit}

{Zarb comes back, digging}

King Argimenes
{digging} Zarb!
Zarb
{also digging} Do not look at me when you speak. The guards are watching us. Look at your digging.
King Argimenes 
How do the guards know we are speaking because we look at one another?
Zarb 
You are very witless. Of course they know.
King Argimenes 
Zarb!
Zarb 
What is it?
King Argimenes 
How many guards are there in sight?
Zarb 
There are six of them over there. They are watching us.
King Argimenes 
Are there other guards in sight of these six guards?
Zarb 
No.
King Argimenes 
How do you know?
Zarb 
Because whenever their officer leaves them they sit upon the ground and play with dice.
King Argimenes 
How does that show that there are not another six in sight of them?
Zarb 
How witless you are, Argimenes! Of course it shows there are not. Because, if there were, another officer would see them, and their thumbs would be cut off.
King Argimenes 
Ah! {A pause} Zarb! {A pause} Would the slaves follow me if I tried to kill the guards?
Zarb 
No, Argimenes.
King Argimenes 
Why would they not follow me?
Zarb 
Because you look like a slave. They will never follow a slave, because they are slaves themselves, and know how mean a creature is a slave. If you looked like a king they would follow you.
King Argimenes 
But I am a king. They know that I am a king.
Zarb 
It is better to look like a king. It is looks that they would go by.
King Argimenes 
If I had a sword would they follow me? A beautiful huge sword of bronze.
Zarb 
I wish I could think of things like that. It is because you were once a king that you can think of a sword of bronze. I tried to hope once that I should some day fight the guards, but I could n't picture a sword, I could n't imagine it; I could only picture whips.
King Argimenes 
Dig a little nearer, Zarb. {They both edge closer} I have found a very old sword in the earth. It is not a sword such as common soldiers wear. A king must have worn it, and an angry king. It must have done fearful things; there are little dints in it. Perhaps there was a battle here long ago where all were slain, and perhaps that king died last and buried his sword, but the great birds swallowed him.
Zarb 
You have been thinking too much of the King's dog, Argimenes, and that has made you hungry, and hunger has driven you mad.
King Argimenes 
I have found such a sword. {A pause}
Zarb 
Why -- then you will wear a purple cloak again, and sit on a great throne, and ride a prancing horse, and we shall call you Majesty.
King Argimenes 
I shall break a long fast first and drink much water, and sleep. But will the slaves follow me?
Zarb 
You will make them follow you if you have a sword. Yet is Illuriel a very potent god. They say that none have prevailed against King Darniak's dynasty so long as Illuriel stood. Once an enemy cast Illuriel into the river and overthrew the dynasty, but a fisherman found him again and set him up, and the enemy was driven out and the dynasty returned.
King Argimenes 
If Illuriel could be cast down as my god was cast down perhaps King Darniak could be overcome as I was overcome in my sleep?
Zarb 
If Illuriel were cast down all the people would utter a cry and flee away. It would be a fearful portent.
King Argimenes 
How many men are there in the armory at the palace?
Zarb 
There are ten men in the palace armory when all the slave-guards are out.

{They dig awhile in silence.}

Zarb 
The officer of the slave-guard has gone away -- They are playing with dice now. {He throws down his spade and stretches his arms.} The man with the big beard has won again, he is very nimble with his thumbs -- They are playing again, but it is getting dark, I cannot clearly see.

{King Argimenes furtively uncovers the sword, he picks it up and grips it in his hand.}

Zarb 
Majesty!

{King Argimenes crouches and steals away towards the slave-guard.}


Zarb
{to the other slaves} Argimenes has found a terrible sword and has gone to slay the slave-guard. It is not a common sword, it is some king's sword.
An Old Slave 
Argimenes will be dreadfully flogged. We shall hear him cry all night. His cries will frighten us, and we shall not sleep.
Zarb 
No, no! The guards flog poor slaves, but Argimenes had an angry look. The guards will be afraid when they see him look so angry and see his terrible sword. It was a huge sword, and he looked very angry. He will bring us the swords of the slave-guard. We must prostrate ourselves before him and kiss his feet or he will be angry with us too.
Old Slave 
Will Argimenes give me a sword?
Zarb 
He will have swords for six of us if he slays the slave-guard. Yes, he will give you a sword.
Slave 
A sword! No, no, I must not; the King would kill me if he found that I had a sword.
Second slave
{slowly, as one who develops an idea} If the King found that I had a sword, why, then it would be an evil day for the King.

{They all look off left.}

Zarb 
I think that they are playing at dice again.
First Slave 
I do not see Argimenes.
Zarb 
No, because he was crouching as he walked. The slave-guard is on the sky-line.
Second slave 
What is that dark shadow behind the slave-guard?
Zarb 
It is too still to be Argimenes.
Second slave 
Look! It moves.
Zarb 
The evening is too dark, I cannot see.

{They continue to gaze into the gathering darkness. They raise themselves on their knees and crane their necks. Nobody speaks. Then from their lips and from others farther off goes up a long, deep "Oh!" It is like the sound that goes up from the grandstand when a horse falls at a fence, or, in England, like the first exclamation of the crowd at a great cricket match when a man is caught in the slips.}

{Curtain}


The Second Act[edit]

{The Throne Hall of King Darniak. The King is seated on his throne in the centre at the back of the stage; a little to his left, but standing out from the wall, a dark-green seated idol is set up. His Queens are seated about him on the ground, two on his right and two between him and the idol. All wear crowns. Beside the dark-green idol a soldier with a pike is kneeling upon one knee. The tear-song, the chant of the low-born, drifts faintly up from the slave-fields.}

First Queen 
Do show us the new prophet, Majesty; it would be very interesting to see another prophet.
The King 
Ah, yes.

{He strikes upon a gong, and an Attendant enters, walks straight past the King and bows before the idol; he then walks back to the centre of the stage and bows before the King.}

The King 
Bring the new prophet hither.

{Exit Attendant. Enter the King's Overseer holding a roll of paper. He passes the King, bows to the idol, returns to the front of the King, kneels, and remains kneeling with bended head.}

The King
{speaking in the meanwhile to the Second Queen on his immediate right} We are making a beautiful arbor for you, O Atharlia, at an end of the great garden. There shall be iris-flowers that you love and all things that grow by streams. And the stream there shall be small and winding like one of those in your country. I shall bring a stream a new way from the mountains. {Turning to Queen Oxara on his extreme right} And for you, too, O Oxara, we shall make a pleasance. I shall have rocks brought from the quarries for you, and my idle slaves shall make a hill and plant it with mountain shrubs, and you can sit there in the winter thinking of the North. {To the kneeling Overseer} Ah, what is here?
The King's Overseer 
The plans of your royal garden, Majesty. The slaves have dug it for five years and rolled the paths.
The King
{takes the plans} Was there not a garden in Babylon?
The King's Overseer 
They say there was a garden there of some sort, Majesty.
The King 
I shall have a greater garden. Let the world know and wonder. {Looks at the plans.}
The King's Overseer 
It shall know at once, Majesty.
The King
{pointing at the plan} I do not like that hill, it is too steep.
The King's Overseer 
No, Majesty.
The King 
Remove it.
The King's Overseer 
Yes, Majesty.
The King 
When will the garden be ready for the Queens to walk in?
The King's Overseer 
Work is slow, Majesty, at this season of the year because the green stuff is scarce and the slaves grow idle. They even become insolent and ask for bones.
Queen Cahafra
{to the King's Overseer} They why are they not flogged? {To Queen Thragolind} It is so simple, they have only to flog them, but these people are so silly sometimes. I want to walk in the great garden, and then they tell me: "It is not ready, Majesty. It is not ready, Majesty," as though there were any reason why it should not be ready.
Fourth Queen 
Yes, they are a great trouble to us.

{Meanwhile the King hands back the plans. Exit the King's Overseer. Reenter Attendant with the Prophet, who is dressed in a long dark brown cloak; his face is solemn; he has a long dark beard and long hair. Having bowed before the idol, he bows before the King and stands silent. The attendant, having bowed to both, stands by the doorway.}

The King
{meanwhile to Queen Atharlia} Perhaps we shall lure the ducks when the marches are frozen to come and swim in your stream; it will be like your own country. {To the Prophet} Prophesy unto us.
The Prophet
{speaks at once in a loud voice} There was once a King that had slaves to hate him and to toil for him, and he had soldiers to guard him and to die for him. And the number of the slaves that he had to hate him and to toil for him was greater than the number of the soldiers that he had to guard him and to die for him. And the days of that King were few. And the number of thy slaves, O King, that thou has to hate thee is greater than the number of thy soldiers.
Queen Cahafra
{to Queen Thragolind} -- and I wore the crown with the sapphires and the big emerald in it, and the foreign prince said that I looked very sweet.

{The King, who has been smiling at Queen Atharlia, gives a gracious nod to the Prophet when he hears him stop speaking. When the Queens see the King nod graciously, they applaud the Prophet by idly clapping their hands.}

Third Queen 
Do ask him to make us another prophecy, Majesty! He is so interesting. He looks so clever.
The King 
Prophesy unto us.
The Prophet 
Thine armies camped upon thy mountainous borders descry no enemy in the plains afar. And within thy gates lurks he for whom thy sentinels seek upon lonely guarded frontiers. There is a fear upon me and a boding. Even yet there is time, even yet; but little time. And my mind is dark with trouble for thy kingdom.
Queen Cahafra
{to Queen Thragolind} I do not like the way he does his hair.
Queen Thragolind 
It would be all right if he would only have it cut.
The King
{to the Prophet, dismissing him with a nod of the head} Thank you, that has been very interesting.
Queen Thragolind 
How clever he is! I wonder how he thinks of things like that?
Queen Cahafra 
Yes, but I hate a man who is conceited about it. Look how he wears his hair.
Queen Thragolind 
Yes, of course it is perfectly dreadful.
Queen Cahafra 
Why can't he wear his hair like other people, even if he does say clever things?
Queen Thragolind 
Yes, I hate a conceited man. {It is not necessary for the Prophet's hair to be at all unusual.}

{Enter an Attendant. He bows before the idol, then kneels to the King.}

The Attendant 
The guests are all assembled in the Chamber of Banquets.

{All rise. The Queens walk two abreast to the Chamber of Banquets.}

Queen Atharlia
{to Queen Oxara} What was he talking about?
Queen Oxara 
He was talking about armies on the frontier.
Queen Atharlia 
Ah! That reminds me of that young captain in the Purple guard. They say that he loves Linoora.
Queen Oxara 
Oh, Thearkos! Linoora probably said that.

{When the Queens come to the doorway they halt on each side of it. Then they turn facing one another. Then the King leaves his throne and passes between them into the Chamber of Banquets, each couple curtseying low to him as he passes. The Queens follow, then the attendants. There rises the wine-song, the chant of the nobles, drowning the chant of the low-born. Only the Idol-Guard remains behind, still kneeling beside Illuriel.}

The Idol-Guard 
I do not like those things the Prophet said -- It would be terrible if they were true -- It would be very terrible if they were false, for he prophesies in the name of Illuriel -- Ah! They are singing the wine-song, the chant of the nobles. The Queens are singing. How merry they are! -- I should like to be a noble and sit and look at the Queens. {He joins in the song.}
The Voice of a Sentinel 
Guard, turn out. {The wine-song still continues.}
The Voice of One Having Authority 
Turn out the guard there! Wake up, you accursed pigs!

{Still the wine-song. A faint sound as of swords.}

A Voice Crying 
To the armory! To the armory! Reinforce! The Slaves have come to the armory. Ah! mercy! {For awhile there is silence.}
King Argimenes
{in the doorway} Go you to the slave-fields. Say that the palace-guard is dead and that we have taken the armory. Ten of you, hold the armory till our men come from the slave-fields. {He comes into the hall with his slaves armed with swords.} Throw down Illuriel.
The Idol-Guard 
You must take my life before you touch my god.
A Slave 
We only want your pike.

{All attack him; they seize his sword and bind his hands behind him. They all pull down Illuriel, the dark-green idol, who breaks into seven pieces.}

King Argimenes 
Illuriel is fallen and broken asunder.
Zarb
{with some awe} Immortal Illuriel is dead at last.
King Argimenes 
My god was broken into three pieces, but Illuriel is broken into seven. The fortunes of Darniak will prevail over mine no longer. {A slave breaks off a golden arm from the throne} Come, we will arm all the slaves. {Exeunt}
King Darniak
{enters with Retinue} My throne is broken. Illuriel is turned against me.
An Attendant 
Illuriel is fallen.
All
{with King Darniak} Illuriel is fallen, is fallen. {Some drop their spears}
King Darniak
{to the Idol-Guard} What envious god or sacrilegious man has dared to do this thing?
The Idol-Guard 
Illuriel is fallen.
King Darniak 
Have men been here?
The Idol-Guard 
Is fallen.
King Darniak 
What way did they go?
The Idol-Guard 
Illuriel is fallen.
King Darniak 
They shall be tortured here before Illuriel, and their eyes shall be hung upon a thread about his neck, so that Illuriel shall see it, and on their bones we will set him up again. Come!

{Those that have dropped their spears pick them up, but trail them along behind them on the ground. All follow dejectedly.}

Voice of Lamentation
{growing fainter and fainter off} Illuriel is fallen. Illuriel is fallen. Illuriel, Illuriel, Illuriel. Is fallen. Is fallen. {The song of the low-born ceases suddenly. Then voices of the slaves in the slave-fields chanting very loudly.} Illuriel is fallen, is fallen, is fallen. Illuriel is fallen and broken asunder. Illuriel is fallen, fallen, fallen.

{Clamor of fighting is heard, the clash of swords, and voices, and now and then the name of Illuriel.}

Idol-Guard
{kneeling over a fragment of Illuriel} Illuriel is broken. They have overthrown Illuriel. They have done great harm to the courses of the stars. The moon will be turned to blackness or fall and forsake the nights. The sun will rise no more. They do not know how they have wrecked the world.

{Reenter King Argimenes and his men.}

King Argimenes 
Go you to the land of Ithara and tell them that I am free. And do you go to the army on the frontier. Offer them death, or the right arm of the throne to be melted and divided amongst them all. Let them choose. {The armed slaves go to the throne and stand on each side of it, loquitur} Majesty, ascend your throne. {King Argimenes, standing with his face toward the audience, lifts the sword slowly, lying on both his hands, a little above his head, then looking up at it, loquitur} Praise to the unknown warrior and to all gods that bless him. {He ascends the throne. Zarb prostrates himself at the foot of it and remains prostrated for the rest of the Act, muttering at intervals "Majesty." An armed slave enters dragging the King's Overseer. King Argimenes sternly watches him. He is dragged before the throne. He still has the roll of parchment in his hand. For some moments King Argimenes does not speak. Then pointing at the parchment} What have you there?
The King's Overseer
{kneeling} It is a plan of the great garden, Majesty. It was to have been a wonder to the world. {Unfolds it}
King Argimenes
{grimly} Show me the place that I digged for three years. {The King's Overseer shows it with trembling hands; the parchment shakes visibly} Let there be built there a temple to an Unknown Warrior. And let this sword be laid on its altar evermore, that the ghost of that Warrior wandering by night (if men do walk by night from across the grave) may see his sword again. And let slaves be allowed to pray there and those that are oppressed; nevertheless the noble and the mighty shall not fail to repair there too, that the Unknown Warrior shall not lack due reverence.

{Enter, running, a Man of the household of King Darniak. He starts and stares aghast on seeing King Argimenes.}

King Argimenes 
Who are you?
Man 
I am the servant of the King's dog.
King Argimenes 
Why do you come here?
Man 
The King's dog is dead.
King Argimenes and his men
{savagely and hungrily} Bones!
King Argimenes
{remembering suddenly what has happened and where he is} Let him be buried with the late King.
Zarb
{in a voice of protest} Majesty!

{Curtain}


The Glittering Gate[edit]

Persons

Both dead
Jim, lately a burglar
Bill, " " "

Scene

A Lonely Place.

Time

The present.


{The Lonely Place is strewn with large black rocks and uncorked beer-bottles, the latter in great profusion. At back is a wall of granite built of great slabs, and in it the Gate of Heaven. The door is of gold. Below the Lonely Place is an abyss hung with stars. The rising curtain reveals Jim wearily uncorking a beer-bottle. Then he tilts it slowly and with infinite care. It proves to be empty. Faint and unpleasant laughter is heard off. This action and accompanying far laughter are repeated continually throughout the play. Corked bottles are discovered lying behind rocks, and more descend constantly through the air, within reach of Jim. All prove to be empty. Jim uncorks a few bottles.}

Jim
{weighing one carefully} That's a full one. {It is empty, like all}

{Singing is heard off left.}

Bill
{enters from left with a bullet-hole over his eye, singing} Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the waves. {Breaking off his song} Why, 'ullo. 'Ere's a bottle of beer. {Finds it empty; looking off and downward} I'm getting a bit tired of those blooming great stars down there and this rocky ledge. I've been walking along under this wall ever since. Why, it must be twenty-four hours since that householder shot me. And he need n't have done it, either, I was n't going to hurt the bloke. I only wanted a bit of his silver stuff. It felt funny, that did. Hullo, a gate. Why, that's the Gate of Heaven. Well, well. So that's all right. {Looks up and up for some time} No. I can't climb that wall. Why, it's got no top to it. Up and up it goes. {Knocks at the door and waits}
Jim 
That is n't for the likes of us.
Bill 
Why, hullo, there's another bloke. Why, somebody's been hanging him. Why, if it is n't old Jim! Jim!
Jim
{wearily} Hullo.
Bill 
Why, Jim! 'Ow long 'ave you been here?
Jim 
I am here always.
Bill 
Why, Jim, don't you remember me? Why, you taught Bill to pick locks years and years ago when he was a little boy, and had never learnt a trade and had n't a penny in the world, and never would have had but for you, Jim. {Jim stares vaguely} I never forgot you, Jim. I broke into scores of houses. And then I took on big houses. Out in the country, you know, real big ones. I got rich, Jim, and respected by all who knew me. I was a citizen, Jim, one who dwelt in our midst. And of an evening, sitting over the fire, I used to say, "I am as clever as Jim." But I was n't, Jim. I could n't climb like you. And I could n't walk like you on a creaky stair, when everything's quite still and there's a dog in the house and little rattly things left lying about, and a door that whines if you touch it, and someone ill upstairs that you did n't know of, who has nothing to do but listen for you 'cause she can't get to sleep. Don't you remember little Bill?
Jim 
That would be somewhere else.
Bill 
Yes, Jim, yes. Down on Earth.
Jim 
But there is n't anywhere else.
Bill 
I never forgot you, Jim. I'd be pattering away with my tongue, in Church, like all the rest, but all the time I'd be thinking of you in that little room at Putney and the man searching every corner of it for you with a revolver in one hand and a candle in the other, and you almost going round with him.
Jim 
What is Putney?
Bill 
Oh, Jim, can't you remember? Can't you remember the day you taught me a livelihood? I was n't more than twelve, and it was spring, and all the may was in blossom outside the town. And we cleared out No. 25 in the new street. And the next day we saw the man's fat, silly face. It was thirty years ago.
Jim 
What are years?
Bill 
Oh, Jim!
Jim 
You see there is n't any hope here. And when there isn't any hope there is n't any future. And when there is n't any future there is n't any past. It's just the present here. I tell you we're stuck. There are n't no years here. Nor no nothing.
Bill 
Cheer up, Jim. You're thinking of a quotation, "Abandon hope, all ye that enter here." I used to learn quotations; they are awfully genteel. A fellow named Shakespeare used to make them. But there is n't any sense in them. What's the use of saying "ye" when you mean "you"? Don't be thinking of quotations, Jim.
Jim 
I tell you there is no hope here.
Bill 
Cheer up, Jim. There's plenty of hope there, is n't there? {Points to the Gate of Heaven}
Jim 
Yes, and that's why they keep it locked up so. They won't let us have any. No. I begin to remember Earth again now since you've been speaking. It was just the same there. The more they'd got the more they wanted to keep you from having a bit.
Bill 
You'll cheer up a bit when I tell you what I've got. I say, Jim, have you got some beer? Why, so you have. Why, you ought to cheer up, Jim.
Jim 
All the beer you're ever likely to see again. They're empty.
Bill
{half rising from the rock on which he has seated himself, and pointing his finger at Jim as he rises; very cheerfully} Why, you're the chap that said there was no hope here, and you're hoping to find beer in every bottle you open.
Jim 
Yes; I hope to see a drop of beer in one some day, but I know I won't. Their trick might not work just once.
Bill 
How many have you tried, Jim?
Jim 
Oh, I don't know. I've always been at it, working as fast as I can, ever since -- ever since -- {Feels his neck meditatively and up toward his ear} Why, ever since, Bill.
Bill 
Why don't you stop it?
Jim 
I'm too thirsty, Bill.
Bill 
What do you think I've got, Jim?
Jim 
I don't know. Nothing's any use.
Bill
{as yet another bottle is shown to be empty} Who's that laughing, Jim?
Jim
{astonished at such a question, loudly and emphatically} Who's that laughing?
Bill
{looks a little disconcerted at having apparently asked a silly question} Is it a pal?
Jim 
A pal! -- {laughs} {The laugh off joins in loudly and for long}
Bill 
Well, I don't know. But, Jim, what do you think I've got?
Jim 
It isn't any use to you whatever it is. Not even if it's a ten-pound note.
Bill 
It's better than a ten-pound note, Jim. Jim, try and remember, Jim. Don't you remember the way we used to go for these iron safes? Do you remember anything, Jim?
Jim 
Yes, I am beginning to remember now. There used to be sunsets. And then there were great yellow lights. And one went in behind them through a swinging door.
Bill 
Yes, yes, Jim. That was the Blue Bear down at Wimbledon.
Jim 
Yes, and the room was all full of golden light. And there was beer with light in it, and some would be spilt on the counter and there was light in that too. And there was a girl standing there with yellow hair. She'd be the other side of that door now, with lamplight in her hair among the angels, and the old smile on her lips if one of them chaffed her, and her pretty teeth a-shining. She would be very near the throne; there was never any harm in Jane.
Bill 
No, there was never any 'arm in Jane, Jim.
Jim 
Oh, I don't want to see the angels, Bill. But if I could see Jane again {points in direction of laugh} he might laugh as much as he cared to whenever I wanted to cry. You can't cry here, you know, Bill.
Bill 
You shall see her again, Jim.

{Jim takes no interest in this remark; he lowers his eyes and goes on with his work.}

Bill 
Jim, you shall see her again. You want to get into Heaven, don't you?
Jim
{not raising his eyes} Want!
Bill 
Jim. Do you know what I've got, Jim?

{Jim makes no answer, goes on wearily with his work.}

Bill 
You remember those iron safes, Jim, how we used to knock them open like walnuts with "Old Nut-cracker"?
Jim
{at work, wearily} Empty again.
Bill 
Well, I've got Old Nut-cracker. I had him in my hand at the time, and they let me keep him. They thought it would be a nice proof against me.
Jim 
Nothing is any good here.
Bill 
I'll get in to Heaven, Jim. And you shall come with me because you taught me a livelihood. I could n't be happy there, like those angels, if I knew of anyone being outside. I'm not like that.

{Jim goes on with his work.}

Bill 
Jim, Jim. You'll see Jane there.
Jim 
You'll never get through those gates, Bill. You'll never do it.
Bill 
They're only gold, Jim. Gold's soft like lead. Old Nut-cracker would do it if they were steel.
Jim 
You'll never do it, Bill.

{Bill puts a rock against the gates, stands on it to reach the lock and gets to work on the lock. A good instrument to use is an egg-whipper. Jim goes on wearily with his work. As Bill works away, fragments and golden screws begin to fall on the floor.}

Bill 
Jim! Old Nut-cracker thinks nothing of it. It's just like cheese to Old Nut-cracker.
Jim 
They won't let you do it, Bill.
Bill 
They don't know what I've got. I'm getting through it like cheese, Jim.
Jim 
Suppose it's a mile thick. Suppose it's a million miles thick. Suppose it's a hundred million miles thick.
Bill 
Can't be, Jim. Those doors are meant to open outward. They could n't do that if they were more than four inches thick at the most, not for an Archbishop. They'd stick.
Jim 
You remember that great safe we broke open once, what had coal in it.
Bill 
This is n't a safe, Jim, this is Heaven. There'll be the old saints with their halos shining and flickering, like windows o' wintry nights. {Creak, creak, creak} And angels thick as swallows along a cottage roof the day before they go. {Creak, creak, creak} And orchards full of apples as far as you can see, and the rivers Tigris and Euphrates, so the Bible says; and a city of gold, for those that care for cities, all full of precious stones; but I'm a bit tired of cities and precious stones. {Creak, creak, creak} I'll go out into the fields where the orchards are, by the Tigris and Euphrates. I should n't be surprised if my old mother was there. She never cared much for the way I earned my livelihood {creak, creak}, but she was a good mother to me. I don't know if they want a good mother in there who would be kind to the angels and sit and smile at them when they sang and soothe them if they were cross. If they let all the good ones in she'll be there all right. {Suddenly} Jim! They won't have brought me up against her, will they? That's not fair evidence, Jim.
Jim 
It would be just like them to. Very like them.
Bill 
If there's a glass of beer to be got in Heaven, or a dish of tripe and onions, or a pipe of 'bacca she'll have them for me when I come to her. She used to know my ways wonderful; and what I liked. And she used to know when to expect me almost anywhere. I used to climb in through the window at any hour and she always knew it was me. {Creak, creak} She'll know it's me at the door now, Jim. {Creak, creak} It will be all a blaze of light, and I'll hardly know it's her till I get used to it... But I'll know her among a million angels. There were n't none like her on Earth and there won't be none like her in Heaven... Jim! I'm through, Jim! One more turn, and Old Nut-cracker's done it! It's giving! It's giving! I know the feel of it. Jim! {At last there is a noise of falling bolts; the gates swing out an inch and are stopped by the rock.}
Bill 
Jim! Jim! I've opened it, Jim. I've opened the Gate of Heaven! Come and help me.
Jim
{looks up for a moment with open mouth. Then he mournfully shakes his head and goes on drawing a cork} Another one empty.
Bill
{looks down once into the abyss that lies below the Lonely Place} Stars. Blooming great stars. {Then he moves away the rock on which he stood. The gates move slowly. Jim leaps up and runs to help; they each take a gate and move backward with their faces against it.}
Bill 
Hullo, mother! You there? Hullo! You there? It's Bill, mother.

{The gates swing heavily open, revealing empty night and stars.}

Bill
{staggering and gazing into the revealed Nothing, in which far stars go wandering} Stars. Blooming great stars. There ain't no Heaven, Jim.

{Ever since the revelation a cruel and violent laugh has arisen off. It increases in volume and grows louder and louder.}

Jim 
That's like them. That's very like them. Yes, they'd do that!

{The curtain falls and the laughter still howls on.}


The Lost Silk Hat[edit]

Persons

The Caller
The Laborer
The Clerk
The Poet
The Policeman

Scene

A fashionable London street.


{The Caller stands on a doorstep, "faultlessly dressed," but without a hat. At first he shows despair, then a new thought engrosses him. Enter the Laborer.}

The Caller 
Excuse me a moment. Excuse me -- but -- I'd be greatly obliged to you if -- if you could see your way -- in fact, you can be of great service to me if --
The Laborer 
Glad to do what I can, sir.
Caller 
Well, all I really want you to do is just to ring that bell and go up and say -- er -- say that you've come to see to the drains, or anything like that, you know, and get hold of my hat for me.
Laborer 
Get hold of your 'at!
Caller 
Yes. You see, I left my hat behind most unfortunately. It's in the drawing-room {points to window}, that room there, half under the long sofa, the far end from the door. And if you could possibly go and get it, why I'd be {The Laborer's expression changes} -- Why, what's the matter?
Laborer
{firmly} I don't like this job.
Caller 
Don't like this job! But, my dear fellow, don't be silly, what possible harm -- ?
Laborer 
Ah-h. That's what I don't know.
Caller 
But what harm can there possibly be in so simple a request? What harm does there seem to be?
Laborer 
Oh, it seems all right.
Caller 
Well, then.
Laborer 
All these crack jobs do seem all right.
Caller 
But I'm not asking you to rob the house.
Laborer 
Don't seem as if you are, certainly, but I don't like the looks of it; what if there's things what I can't 'elp taking when I gets inside?
Caller 
I only want my hat -- Here, I say, please don't go away -- here's a sovereign, it will only take you a minute.
Laborer 
What I want to know --
Caller 
Yes?
Laborer 
-- Is what's in that hat?
Caller 
What's in the hat?
Laborer 
Yes; that's what I want to know.
Caller 
What's in the hat?
Laborer 
Yes, you are n't going to give me a sovereign -- ?
Caller 
I'll give you two sovereigns.
Laborer 
You are n't going to give me a sovereign, and rise it to two sovereigns, for an empty hat?
Caller 
But I must have my hat. I can't be seen in the streets like this. There's nothing in the hat. What do you think's in the hat?
Laborer 
Ah, I'm not clever enough to say that, but it looks as if the papers was in that hat.
Caller 
The papers?
Laborer 
Yes, papers proving, if you can get them, that you're the heir to that big house, and some poor innocent will be defrauded.
Caller 
Look here, the hat's absolutely empty. I must have my hat. If there's anything in it you shall have it yourself as well as the two pounds, only get me my hat.
Laborer 
Well, that seems all right.
Caller 
That's right, then you'll run up and get it?
Laborer 
Seems all right to me and seems all right to you. But it's the police what you and I have got to think of. Will it seem all right to them?
Caller 
Oh, for heaven's sake --
Laborer 
Ah!
Caller 
What a hopeless fool you are.
Laborer 
Ah!
Caller 
Look here.
Laborer 
Ah, I got you there, mister.
Caller 
Look here, for goodness sake don't go.
Laborer 
Ah! {Exit}

{Enter the Clerk}

Caller 
Excuse me, sir. Excuse me asking you, but, as you see, I am without a hat. I shall be extraordinarily obliged to you if you would be so very good as to get it for me. Pretend you have come to wind the clocks, you know. I left it in the drawing-room of this house, half under the long sofa, the far end.
Clerk 
Oh, er -- all right, only --
Caller 
Thanks so much, I am immensely indebted to you. Just say you've come to wind the clocks, you know.
Caller 
I -- er -- don't think I'm very good at winding clocks, you know.
Caller 
Oh, that's all right, just stand in front of the clock and fool about with it. That's all they ever do. I must warn you there's a lady in the room.
Clerk 
Oh!
Caller 
But that's all right, you know. Just walk past up to the clock.
Clerk 
But I think, if you don't mind, as there's someone there --
Caller 
Oh, but she's quite young and very, very beautiful and --
Clerk 
Why don't you get it yourself?
Caller 
That is impossible.
Clerk 
Impossible?
Caller 
Yes, I have sprained my ankle.
Clerk 
Oh! Is it bad?
Caller 
Yes, very bad indeed.
Clerk 
I don't mind trying to carry you up.
Caller 
No, that would be worse. My foot has to be kept on the ground.
Clerk 
But how will you get home?
Caller 
I can walk all right on the flat.
Clerk 
I'm afraid I have to be going on. It's rather later than I thought.
Caller 
But for goodness sake don't leave me. You can't leave me here like this without a hat.
Clerk 
I'm afraid I must, it's later than I thought.

{Exit}

{Enter the Poet}

Caller 
Excuse me, sir. Excuse my stopping you. But I should be immensely obliged to you if you would do me a very great favor. I have unfortunately left my hat behind while calling at this house. It is half under the long sofa, at the far end. If you could possibly be so kind as to pretend you have come to tune the piano and fetch my hat for me I should be enormously grateful to you.
Poet 
But why cannot you get it for yourself?
Caller 
I cannot.
Poet 
If you would tell me the reason perhaps I could help you.
Caller 
I cannot. I can never enter that house again.
Poet 
If you have committed a murder, by all means tell me. I am not sufficiently interested in ethics to wish to have you hanged for it.
Caller 
Do I look like a murderer?
Poet 
No, of course not. I am only saying that you can safely trust me, for not only does the statute book and its penalties rather tend to bore me, and murder itself has always had a certain fascination for me. I write delicate and fastidious lyrics, yet, strange as it may appear, I read every murder trial, and my sympathies are always with the prisoner.
Caller 
But I tell you I am not a murderer.
Poet 
Then what have you done?
Caller 
I have quarrelled with a lady in that house and have sworn to join the Bosnians and die in Africa.
Poet 
But this is beautiful.
Caller 
Unfortunately I forgot my hat.
Poet 
You go to die for a hopeless love, and in a far country; it was the wont of the troubadours.
Caller 
But will you get my hat for me?
Poet 
That I will gladly do for you. But we must find an adequate reason for entering the house.
Caller 
You pretend to tune the piano.
Poet 
That, unfortunately, is impossible. The sound of a piano being unskillfully handled is to me what the continual drop of cold water on the same part of the head is said to be in countries where that interesting torture is practiced. There is --
Caller 
But what are we to do?
Poet 
There is a house where kind friends of mine have given me that security and comfort that are a poet's necessity. But there was a governess there and a piano. It is years and years since I was able even to see the faces of those friends without an inward shudder.
Caller 
Well, we'll have to think of something else.
Poet 
You are bringing back to these unhappy days the romance of an age of which the ballads tell us that kings sometimes fought in no other armor than their lady's nightshirt.
Caller 
Yes, but you know first of all I must get my hat.
Poet 
But why?
Caller 
I cannot possibly be seen in the streets without a hat.
Poet 
Why not?
Caller 
It can't be done.
Poet 
But you confuse externals with essentials.
Caller 
I don't know what you call essentials, but being decently dressed in London seems pretty essential to me.
Poet 
A hat is not one of the essential things of life.
Caller 
I don't want to appear rude, but my hat is n't quite like yours.
Poet 
Let us sit down and talk of things that matter, things that will be remembered after a hundred years. {They sit} Regarded in this light one sees at once the triviality of hats. But to die, and die beautifully for a hopeless love, that is a thing one could make a lyric about. That is the test of essential things -- try and imagine them in a lyric. One could not write a lyric about a hat.
Caller 
I don't care whether you could write a lyric about my hat or whether you could n't. All I know is that I am not going to make myself absolutely ridiculous by walking about in London without a hat. Will you get it for me or will you not?
Poet 
To take any part in the tuning of a piano is impossible for me.
Caller 
Well, pretend you've come to look at the radiator. They have one under the window, and I happen to know it leaks.
Poet 
I suppose it has an artistic decoration on it.
Caller 
Yes, I think so.
Poet 
Then I decline to look at it or go near it. I know these decorations in cast iron. I once saw a pot-bellied Egyptian god, named Bes, and he was meant to be ugly, but he was n't as ugly as these decorations that the twentieth century can make with machinery. What has a plumber got to do with art that he should dare to attempt decoration?
Caller 
Then you won't help me.
Poet 
I won't look at ugly things and I won't listen to ugly noises, but if you can think of any reasonable plan I don't mind helping you.
Caller 
I can think of nothing else. You don't look like a plumber or a clock-winder. I can think of nothing more. I have had a terrible ordeal and I am not in the condition to think calmly.
Poet 
Then you will have to leave your hat to its altered destiny.
Caller 
Why can't you think of a plan? If you're a poet, thinking's rather in your line.
Poet 
If I could bring my thoughts to contemplate so absurd a thing as a hat for any length of time no doubt I could think of a plan, but the very triviality of the theme seems to drive them away.
Caller
{rising} Then I must get it myself.
Poet 
For Heaven's sake, don't do that! Think what it means!
Caller 
I know it will seem absurd, but not so absurd as walking through London without it.
Poet 
I don't mean that. But you will make it up. You will forgive each other, and you will marry her and have a family of noisy, pimply children like everyone else, and Romance will be dead. No, don't ring that bell. Go and buy a bayonet, or whatever one does buy, and join the Bosnians.
Caller 
I tell you I can't without a hat.
Poet 
What is a hat? Will you sacrifice for it a beautiful doom? Think of your bones, lying neglected and forgotten, lying forlornly because of hopeless love on endless golden sands. "Lying forlorn!" as Keats said. What a word! Forlorn in Africa. The careless Bedouins going past by day, at night the lion's roar, the grievous voice of the desert.
Caller 
As a matter of fact, I don't think you're right in speaking of it as desert. The Bosnians, I believe, are only taking it because it is supposed to be the most fertile land in the world.
Poet 
What of that? You will not be remembered by geography and statistics, but by golden-mouthed Romance. And that is how Romance sees Africa.
Caller 
Well, I'm going to get my hat.
Poet 
Think! Think! If you enter by that door you will never fall among the foremost Bosnians. You will never die in a far-off, lonely land to lie by immense Sahara. And she will never weep for your beautiful doom and call herself cruel in vain.
Caller 
Hark! She is playing the piano. It seems to me that she might be unhappy about it for years. I don't see much good in that.
Poet 
No. I will comfort her.
Caller 
I'm damned if you do! Look here! I don't mind saying, I'm damned if you do.
Poet 
Calm yourself. Calm yourself. I do not mean in that way.
Caller 
Then what on earth do you mean?
Poet 
I will make songs about your beautiful death, glad songs and sad songs. They shall be glad because they tell again the noble traditions of the troubadours, and sad because they tell of your sorrowful destiny and your hopeless love. I shall make legends about your lonely bones, telling perhaps how some Arabian men, finding them in the desert by some oasis, memorable in war, wonder who loved them. And then as I read them to her, she weeps perhaps a little, and I read instead of the glory of the soldier, how it overtops our transitory --
Caller 
Look here, I'm not aware that you've ever been introduced to her.
Poet 
A trifle, a trifle.
Caller 
It seems to me that you're in rather an undue hurry for me to get a Jubu spear in me; but I'm going to get my hat first.
Poet 
I appeal to you. I appeal to you in the name of beautiful battles, high deeds, and lost causes; in the name of love-tales told to cruel maidens and told in vain. In the name of stricken hearts broken like beautiful harp-strings, I appeal to you. I appeal in the ancient holy name of Romance; do not ring that bell. {Caller rings the bell.}
Poet
{sits down, abject} You will marry. You will sometimes take a ticket with your wife as far as Paris. Perhaps as far as Cannes. Then the family will come; a large sprawling family as far as the eye can see (I speak in hyperbole). You'll earn money and feed it and be like all the rest. No monument will ever be set up to your memory, but -- {Servant answers bell. Caller says something inaudible. Exit through door.}
Poet
{rising, lifting hand} But let there be graven in brass upon this house; Romance was born again here out of due time and died young. {He sits down} {Enter Laborer and Clerk with Policeman. The music stops.}
Policeman 
Anything wrong here?
Poet 
Everything's wrong. They're going to kill Romance.
Policeman
{to Laborer} This gentleman does n't seem quite right somehow.
Laborer 
They're none of them quite right today. {Music starts again}
Poet 
My God! It is a duet.
Policeman 
He seems a bit wrong somehow.
Laborer 
You should 'a seen the other one.

{Curtain}