Page:Calvary mirbeau.djvu/131

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CALVARY
125


when we were parting. "To create, always to create, to draw from one's sinews or from one's brains no matter what . . . be it only a pair of rubbers. There is nothing outside of that!"

Six days later I went again to Juliette and gradually I formed the habit of calling regularly and 3pending an hour before dinner. The disagreeable impression left on me at the time of my first visit had vanished. Little by little, without suspecting it, I grew so used to the red tapestry in her parlor, to the terra cotta statue of Cupid, to Juliette's childish prating, even to Spy who had become my friend, that whenever I passed a day without seeing her, it seemed as though a great void had been created in my life.

Not only did the things which at first had shocked me no longer do so, but, on the contrary, they now moved me, and each time Juliette talked to Spy or attended to him with exaggerated care, it was a positive pleasure to me, appearing as an added proof of the simplicity and affectionate qualities of her heart. In the end I, too, began to speak this dog language. One evening, when Spy was sick, I grew uneasy and, removing the covers and quilts which covered him, I gently murmured: "Baby Spy has a hurt; where does it hurt our little baby?" Only the image of the singer, rising near Juliette, somewhat disturbed the tranquility of our meetings, but I only had to close my eyes for a moment or turn away my head, and the image would instantly disappear. I persuaded Juliette to tell me her life. Until now she had always refused.

"No! no!" she would say.

And she would add with a smile, looking at me with her large, sad eyes:

"What will we gain, my friend?"

I insisted, I begged.