that has been worrying me for a long time; promise
that you'll tell me.' I promise. 'Well, when one is
dead, in the coffin, is it true that one's feet rest against
the board?' 'What an idea! Why do you speak of
it?' 'Tell me, please tell me!' 'But I don't know,
my dear Juliette!' 'Don't you know? Although it
is true that you never know anything when I am serious. . . because. . . you see? . . . I don't want my feet to rest against the board. When I am dead. . . you shall put a cushion inside and my white dress. . .
you know the one with pink flowers. . . the dress
for which I won the first prize! You'll be very sorry,
my poor little thing, won't you? Embrace me! Come
over here, closer to me, still closer. I adore you!'
"And I used to wish that Juliette were sick all the time! But as soon as she recovers she does not remember anything; her promises, her resolutions are gone and our life of hell begins again, more violent and exasperating than ever. And from that little bit of heaven to which I have held on for a while, I tumble down again into the filth and crime of this love even more frightfully maimed in spirit! Ah! that is not all, Lirat! I should have stayed in that apartment to brood over my shame, don't you think! I should have withdrawn into obscurity and oblivion sufficient to make people believe that I am dead. And instead of that! Well! Go to the Bois and you see me there every day. At the theatre it is I whom you will find in the stage box, in a dress suit, with a flower in my buttonhole, always I! Juliette is resplendent amidst flowers, plumes and gems. She is exquisite, she has a new dress which everyone admires, a stock of smiles each more modest than the other, and the string of pearls, for which I have not paid, which she toys gracefully with the tips of her fingers and without the least remorse. And here I have not a sou, not a sou! And I
