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“Tsar Vladimir has ordered
That, by His Royal Grace,
Applicants are invited
To fill god’s vacant place.
“Prospective candidates who
Expect to qualify
Must at Police Headquarters
For legal blanks apply.”
The news of the Imperial
Ukase the Tsar decreed
Spread through the whole dominion
As with a lightning speed.
The telegraphers’ tickers
Like bees a-buzzing hurled
The news through all the papers
Of the entire world.
****
At Rome, the worthy Cardinals
Enjoyed a little glass
Of rum at the Red Lobster Inn
Before they went to Mass.
As Cardinal Samsulini
The “Augsburg Daily” spied,
He jumped up from his armchair
As if electrified.
He ordered him a beaker
Of Lachrimae and ran,
As soon as he had drunk it,
Straight to the Vatican.
[60]
