During the South African War, when that country was under martial law, every letter which was sent home had to pass through the hands of the press censor.
A private in the Yorkshire Volunteers had sent four or five letters home, telling his parents about the doings of the regiment, which portions had been obliterated by the censor, and were therefore unreadable on their arrival at the destination.
He decided to get square with the censor, and at the foot of the next letter he wrote the following words:
"Please look under the stamp."
"At the censor's office the letter was opened and read as usual. The officer in charge spent some time in steaming the stamp from the envelop so that he could read the message which he was certain he would find there.
At last his patience was rewarded; but his feelings can be better imagined than described when he read these words:
"Was it hard to get off?"—Tid-Bits.
(2759)
We never can tell when rudeness and ill-manners may return upon our own heads:
George Ade, in the early days of his
career, before his "Fables in Slang" had
brought him fame, says the New York
Tribune, called one morning in Chicago upon
a Sunday editor, on a mission from a
theatrical manager.
"I have brought you this manuscript," he began, but the editor, looking up at the tall, timid youth, interrupted:
"Just throw the manuscript in the waste-basket, please," he said. "I'm very busy just now, and haven't time to do it myself."
Mr. Ade obeyed calmly. He resumed:
"I have come from the Theater, and the manuscript I have just thrown in the waste-basket is your comic farce of 'The Erring Son,' which the manager asks me to return to you with thanks. He suggests that you sell it to an undertaker, to be read at funerals."
Then Mr. Ade smiled gently and withdrew.
(2760)
RETARDATION
Many Christians converted years ago show no more progress than the subject of this sketch:
"There is a young man in England," says
The Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette, "who at
the age of twenty-four is developing at the
rate of only one-sixth of that of the average
human being. At present he is learning his
alphabet and can count up to ten only.
During the last nineteen years he has eaten
but three meals a week, has slept twenty-four
hours and played twenty-four hours,
without the slightest variation. In spite of
his twenty-four years he looks no older than
a boy of four or five and is only thirty-six
inches in height. For the same period his development
physically and mentally has been at
only one-sixth the ordinary rate, while absolutely
regular and perfect in every other way.
At his birth this child weighed ten pounds and
in no way differed from any other child.
He grew and thrived in the usual way until
he attained the age of five. Then his
progress was suddenly and mysteriously arrested,
and since then six years have been
the same to him as one year to the normal
person. He has attracted the attention of
many medical and scientific men, more than
one of whom has exprest the conviction that
this remarkable man will live to be no less
than three centuries old." (Text.)
(2761)
RETICENCE
There are times and circumstances in which one may well refuse to be pumped of what he knows.
A Scotch laddie was summoned to give
evidence against his father. "Come, my wee
mon, tell us what ye ken aboot this affair."
"Weel, ye ken Inverness Street?" "I do,
laddie," said his worship. "Weel, ye gang
along and turn into the square." "Yes,
yes." "Turn to the right up into High
Street till ye come to a pump." "I know
the old pump well," said his honor. "Weel,"
added the laddie, "ye may gang and pump it,
for ye'll no pump me."
(2762)
RETORT, A
President Taft was hissed by a number
of women when he was courageous enough
to confess at the convention of the National
American Woman Suffrage Association that
he was not altogether in favor of women
having the right to vote. President Taft
was welcoming the delegates to Washington,
but told them frankly that he was not altogether
in sympathy with the suffrage movement.
He said he thought one of the dangers
in granting suffrage to women is that
