MR. SLUDGE, "THE MEDIUM."
191
Clearly no common conjuror's!—no indeed!
A conjuror? Choose me any craft in the world
A man puts hand to; and with six months' pains,
I'll play you twenty tricks miraculous
To people untaught the trade: have you seen glass blown,
Pipes pierced? Why, just this biscuit that I chip,
Did you ever watch a baker toss one flat
To the oven? Try and do it! Take my word,
Practise but half as much, while limbs are lithe,
To turn, shove, tilt a table, crack your joints,
Manage your feet, dispose your hands aright,
Work wires that twitch the curtains, play the glove
At end of your slipper,—then put out the lights
And . . . there, there, all you want you 'll get, I hope!
I found it slip, easy as an old shoe.
A conjuror? Choose me any craft in the world
A man puts hand to; and with six months' pains,
I'll play you twenty tricks miraculous
To people untaught the trade: have you seen glass blown,
Pipes pierced? Why, just this biscuit that I chip,
Did you ever watch a baker toss one flat
To the oven? Try and do it! Take my word,
Practise but half as much, while limbs are lithe,
To turn, shove, tilt a table, crack your joints,
Manage your feet, dispose your hands aright,
Work wires that twitch the curtains, play the glove
At end of your slipper,—then put out the lights
And . . . there, there, all you want you 'll get, I hope!
I found it slip, easy as an old shoe.
Now, lights on table again! I 've done my part,
You take my place while I give thanks and rest.
"Well, Judge Humgruffin, what 's your verdict, sir?
You, hardest head in the United States,—
Did you detect a cheat here? Wait! Let 's see!
Just an experiment first, for candour's sake!
I 'll try and cheat you, Judge? The table tilts:
Is it I that move it? Write! I'll press your hand:
You take my place while I give thanks and rest.
"Well, Judge Humgruffin, what 's your verdict, sir?
You, hardest head in the United States,—
Did you detect a cheat here? Wait! Let 's see!
Just an experiment first, for candour's sake!
I 'll try and cheat you, Judge? The table tilts:
Is it I that move it? Write! I'll press your hand:
