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service?" "What, Sir, during the four years? (great laughter). You have put a very heavy question."
"But on a moderate computation?" "Why, some people carry a little so well, that you can't tell when they've got a drop too much. I can't answer your question."
"Did it not happen generally in the afternoon?" "I was not drunk. Sir, every day" (laughter).
"But pretty often?" "Middling; as we generally all are."
"Did it ever happen that you had taken too much when driving Mr and Mrs Norton to the Queen's ball?" "I was sober going to the Queen's ball; but when going to the Marquis of Lansdowne's in the evening I certainly got a drop too much; and then the black horse began to gallop. Mr Norton got out of the coach, and mounted the box in his opera-hat, and I did not think he looked well driving in that fashion" (laughter).
"You were so drunk that it was necessary for Mr Norton to get on the coach-box with his opera-hat to drive?" "I'll tell you the whole. Sir. When Mrs Norton wanted Mr Norton to do anything, he was so fond of her he would do it, let it be what it might. So he got upon the box, and I, being a goodish sort of a coachman, did not wish to see my master make a fool of himself in a crowd; so I said, 'If you will drive you must drive by yourself.' I had one of my own, and one of my master's horses, in the carriage, and I did not like to see my own horse doing all the work, so I preferred walking; a pretty good proof that I was not very drunk (laughter). When I got to the Marquis of Lansdowne's I expected to see the carriage at the door; but instead of that I saw a parcel of fellows cutting at my horse. I then said to my master, 'Let me drive, and I will soon get you up. The truth is,' says I, 'you look rather foolish;' but he refused to give up the reins, and I then said, 'If you will be obstinate, I must take my horse out' (roars of laughter). So I went to take my horse out, and Mr Norton said, 'John, John, don't do that—policeman, take John away' (great laughter). I did not take the horse out, but a policeman came up and said that I must go along with him. I said, 'I am very willing to go with you, my good fellow; I will go with all the pleasure in the world.' So he took me to the watchhouse."
"Poor John! And so there you were locked up all night?" "I was."
"Did you not make an offer to release him then?" "I wanted to take hold of the reins, to get him out of the crowd."
"Did Mr Norton contrive to get the carriage up, driving with his opera hat on?" "So I understood the next morning."
"And then you were discharged?" "I was fined 5s. for being intoxicated at the office, though I was then as sober as I am now."
"Who was the magistrate who fined you 5s.?" "Mr Norton seemed to know him, for they talked together a long while."
"Then you think your sentence was a very unjust one?" "I don't think I was well used."
