67 LADY OF QUALITY THE HOSTESS No. I. DINNER-PARTIES By Mrs. HUMPHRY ("Madge") Forms of Invitation— When they should be Sent— Comfort of the Guests— The Right Wines to Choose— How to Place the Guests 'To invite a guest to dinner is, in an ordinary way, the highest social compliment one can pay him or her. It may possibly be exceeded by an invitation to stay a few days in the hostess's country house, or to join her party on a yachting cruise. These are flattering, but there may be circum- stances that render them less so than an invitation to dinner. At this form of enter- tainment the number of guests is necessarily restricted. In even the largest houses the dining-room rarely accommodates more than forty or, at the utmost, fifty persons. The estimation in which one is held by the giver of the dinner may be gauged in inverse ratio to the size of the room. If included in the list of invitations to eight or ten persons, one may feel assured of the liking of one's host or hostess. THE ELIGIBLE YOUNG MAN And yet it would not do to plume oneself unduly on this. The advice to refrain from doing so is especially applicable to young men. They are so scarce in comparison with married couples and young girls that they have a fictitious value in this connection. Unfortunately, most of them are aware of this, and as a consequence many incline to be rather casual in the matter of responding. If a man happen to be very eligible, or very attractive, or very interesting for some reason, he becomes in great demand, and occasionally gets quite spoilt. He leaves invitations unanswered, waiting to see if something better may not turn up, and is guilty at times of the great rudeness of arriving late. This kind of thing adds immensely to the difficulties of the hostess, and they are many. First, she has to consider whom she shall ask to meet the person in whose honour she is giving her dinner-party ; or she may be simply planning a return dinner for those who have ^entertained her and her husband in the same way. In either case, her endeavour is — or should be — to get together a party of congenial persons who will amalgamate happily and entertain each other. An equal number of either sex is necessary to the perfect dinner-party, and it is usual to have some young people interspersed among the more mature men and women almost always present. The names settled, the next thing is to send out the invitations. The hostess must choose whether these shall be ceremonious or informal. If the former, they must be written in the third person.
- ' Major-General and Mrs. Greene request
the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Browne's com- pany at dinner on Thursday, December 4th at 8.15." ' The address of the sender is put in the corner low on the left. Sometimes the letters R.S.V.P. are put on the invitation, but these initials, representing a French sentence, are often replaced by the same request in English. Princess Henry of Battenberg's invitations have " An answer is requested," and some of the members of our highest aristocracy use the same form, or the rather similar one, " An early answer will oblige," or " The favour of an answer is requested." The informal note runs somewhat as follows : " Dear Mrs. Browne, — It will give us great pleasure if you and Mr. Browne will dine with us on Monday, the 24th, at 8.30. — Very truly yours, Mary Greene." Answers should be ceremonious or informal in accordance with the character of the invitation, and should be worded as nicely as possible in the same way. " Mr. and Mrs. Browne accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Major-General and Mrs. Greene to dinner on Thursday, the 4th of December." The envelope containing the answer is addressed to the hostess. The informal reply might run thus : " Dear Mrs. Greene, — IV e have great plea- sure in accepting your kind invitation to dine with you on the 4th of December. — Yours very truly, Marion Browne." N.B. — It is a mistake to write " shall have pleasure in accepting." Doing so is a present act, and needs the present tense. HOW TO refuse Should the invited persons wish to refuse the invitation, it is usual for them to give some reason for doing so. To refuse without some excuse is apt to be regarded as a snub. A prior engagement is the usual pretext. An intended absence from town on the date mentioned may be pleaded, and in any case regret should be expressed. " Colonel and Mrs. Blankney regret that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Browne's kind invitation to dine on the T.'jth, owing to a previous engagement." The reason for refusal must always be given. Dinner invitations may be sent out a fortnight, or a week, or even a few days before the date fixed. In towns a hostess
