Page:History of Oregon Literature.djvu/573

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OLD AND NEW COLUMNISTS
527

Sometimes the more a wife misses her husband the better he likes it.

Once the "two-bit piece" was the smallest coin circulating in the golden West. Now it is too frequently the largest.

The priceless boon of youth is seldom appreciated until after it is lost.

The way of the transgressor nowadays is too often the highway.

A love that passeth understanding holds less appeal nowadays than a car that passes others as though they were standing.

Eight percent of a whale's oil is in its tongue, which looks like a large proportion until one considers our politicians.

The time is said to be coming when bankers will have to solicit loans. They will find us more obliging than they have been to us.

When modern woman resolves never to grow old, she clings to her compact.

It is well, of course, to prevent the soil from running off. The farmer may be tempted to follow its example.

Tailors are not sadder than sailors. They just seam sew.

"Life," says a psychologist, "begins at forty." Even that, for some of us, was too long ago.

We're inclined to doubt the statement in an ancient English manuscript that Adam had the gout. Although he was an ancestor of ours, we'd never before heard of it.

For those who buy things they do not need, the time generally comes when they need things they cannot buy.

It isn't long before the chap who says what he pleases has nobody but himself as an audience.

The way to keep the frost from getting on the pumpkin is to put a thick crust around it.

We hear that when the code-makers tried to work one out for the glue factories they ran up against a sticker.