am a voluptuary, a spoiled fondling of love, and have but lately wept at the early tomb of an adored wife! Carlos, thou art the meanest wretch, and not deserving of thy existence, if thou canst hesitate to return that sacrifice."
It is incredible how much pain it cost me to come to that resolution; a resolution that was too natural and just than that it ought to have appeared to me a sacrifice. I began to meditate more seriously upon it, and was astonished at the unnatural state of my mind. The first love heats a blood that rolls through a youthful, healthy frame; and the kindling fire of sensations that have just unfolded themselves, urges us beyond the limits of humanity; and yet my senses never have been in such a tumultuous agitation; even not when I first met Elmira, animated with a full sense of my pride, and conscious of success; nor when she dropt into my trembling arms, encircling my neck as my happy and blessing wife, and mysenses
